A Land of Nowhere
by pavarotti
Summary: All Nick wants is to be let in on Jeff's little world, which is falling apart faster than Sebastian's many ludicrous schemes. But with all the changes within the Warblers, there's no telling what will happen in his final year at Dalton, or to whom.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **I like to call this a quasi-sequel. With that said, having read Duérmete is not mandatory, however you'll be puzzled for a while about what Jeff's "secret" is for the first few chapters (which have been written in advance). This story will go along with season three, b-tee-dubs.

A quick thank you to Doug who is oh-so amazing and without him I would've given up on this story. He's my cheerleader and I am forever grateful. And not to mention he's fabulous/amazing/brilliant etc.

**Disclaimer:** Me own Glee? Puh-lease.

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><p><strong>A Land of Nowhere<strong>

_See her come down, through the clouds  
><em>_I feel like a fool_

There were three weeks left of summer before senior year would begin for Nick. After a dark winter and spring, summer had finally made it's appearance and things would change—they had to. At least, this was how Nick saw it. Summer equaled fresh starts and life altering goals that were for the better. But sadly enough, summer wasn't how Nick planned.

It was silly of him to think that he and Jeff would be skipping off into the sunset, but since that night of Jeff's birthday when all the cards were laid out on the table, things had been severely different—yet unchanged. The two were once again careless young best friends who were nearly attached at the hip, but that was all. Though both had admitted their feelings, they did nothing about them. Nick had wanted to pursue a relationship of some sort but he knew he couldn't add that stress on Jeff. He thought maybe after Jeff dealt with the incident they'd both be able to move on and live happily ever after. Jeff had seemed to have moved on. He managed to be ninety-eight percent less depressed but the two percent remaining were powerful. Jeff was there like he used to be, but something was missing.

It wasn't until the two of them had ventured to a Warbler party at Thad's that things started to piece together. It was a sort of going away party for the college-bound and a brothers' meeting for those who were to stay. Only nine would be off at some big time University while the rest got to enjoy more time at Dalton. A round of Rock Band was going on in the front room as Nick, Jeff, Blaine, Wes, Trent and David found themselves in Thad's basement. Wes and Blaine were playing darts as Jeff poured shots of a half-full bottle of vodka. He'd snuck the alcohol in since Thad had a 'no drinking' policy. Whether it was formed by his parents or a personal stance, it was lame and the boys needed some stress relief. Not to mention fun.

"I still can't believe you're leaving us," Trent said right before taking his shot. He pouted at Wes and soon grimaced as soon as his the alcohol left his tiny glass and made it's way into his mouth.

Wes threw his last dart, missing the bulls-eye. He grabbed his shot from Jeff and quickly emptied it. "Sorry. Can't help that my education is growing."

"So that's what you call it?" David joked. "I'm pretty positive that you've got a case of Benjamin Button and your brain is getting more and more childish."

"And I'm pretty positive that your jokes are far too lame and seem impossible to make sense of for you to have graduated," Wes said back.

"Hey, this is supposed to be happy hour," Jeff scolded, finally taking his own shot after serving everyone else.

Trent continued to pout in misery. "How can it be happy hour when I'm so sad? David and Wes, our favorite duo, are parting from us. Hell, even from each other. It's like we're all in a relationship and we've been dumped."

"And someone is a light-weight," sounded Nick, pouring himself another shot because he sure as hell would not be able to handle Trent's dramatics sober.

Just then Blaine's cellphone went off, a signature Katy Perry ring-tone causing all to roll their eyes. Blaine smiled to himself and looked at the screen.

"It's Kurt," he said, blushing.

"We know," all of them said in sync.

"I'll just take this..." He went into the basement bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"We should have invited him," Nick said then.

Jeff nodded. "Probably. But you know how serious Thad is about this being a Warblers' party only."

"If you think about it, us that won't be returning this year are no longer Warblers. Technically we shouldn't be here either," explained Wes.

"It's also a goodbye party, remember?" chipped in David.

"Kurt never got one," retorted Wes.

David shrugged. "Well, we all did go to his school just to sing to him. That seems like a pretty decent goodbye to me."

Trent frowned. "I'm sad again."

"And you all suck donkey dick," Jeff said to himself. Nick overheard him and chuckled.

Blaine came out of the bathroom then, that same "I'm in love with Kurt" smile taking place on his face as he stared blissfully at his phone and stuck it back in his pocket.

"How's are favorite divo doing?" Jeff asked him, bored.

"Busy planning his wardrobe for the rest of his life," Blaine answered, still smiling.

Jeff nodded his approval while saying, "Sounds like him."

"So I take it there's no trouble in paradise?" Wes wondered as he handed Blaine his darts for a second round.

"Not a single sign. Though, he's still dropping hints about me transferring to McKinley."

"Are you going to?" asked Nick, slightly nervous about the whole idea.

Blaine shrugged and sent a dart flying straight into the middle. "I don't know."

"Relationships. Fun," said Jeff rather condescendingly. "I'm going to go upstairs and see if I can convince Thad to let me swim in his neighbor's pool."

"Good luck with that," snorted Wes.

Nick watched as Jeff took a sneaky shot before he made his way upstairs. Naturally Nick followed him, only because he knew Jeff had been lying about his reasoning for leaving the group. Relationship talk was starting to sprout and Jeff wasn't very fond of it as of lately. Instead of making his way to Thad, Jeff went straight out the front door and took a seat on the porch steps. He didn't even look back when Nick opened the door and took a seat beside him.

"I bought a goldfish last week," Jeff said out of the blue. "It died today."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

"And why is that?"

Jeff shrugged. "If I was all alone in a fishbowl full of fake colored rocks and a treasure chest with no treasure at all, I'd want to die too."

"And God said 'Let There Be Depression', and so there was."

Nick had thought that all of this was really something light and not at all dramatic, but as soon as he looked over and saw the hard eyes of his best friend, he knew that something was up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," replied Jeff. He grabbed a small pebble from in between the two and sent it flying into the grass.

"That fact that you're even attempting to lie to me shows how much of a moron you are."

"Would you just, I'dunno, fuck off?"

Nick felt sudden anger flare up. "What's your problem? Seriously. We're all supposed to be having a good time and you're being a total dick."

"I want to have a good time but everywhere I go there's Blaine with his stupid boyfriend and his stupid boyfriend problems and love and all that shit that I could really care less about."

"Whoa. Since when did you have a problem with Blaine and Kurt? You do realize that they're our best friends, correct?"

"We all make misjudgments from time-to-time."

"Whoa. Just. Whoa." Nick felt completely and utterly shocked. Where had this come from? Just yesterday Jeff had been telling him about how he and Kurt had had a duet over skype. Now suddenly Jeff hated Kurt? "I thought Kurt was the macaroni to your cheese. The peanut butter to your jelly. The Sonny to your Cher...or the other way around, I forget."

Jeff scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I don't hate Kurt, if that's what you're getting at. I just hate 'Kurt and Blaine'."

"I thought it was the heteros you hated. Have you suddenly joined the dark side?" Nick questioned humorously.

"Would you stop that!" hissed Jeff.

"Stop what?"

"Just...stop. Stop trying to make me make sense of my feelings."

"I don't want you to make sense. I just want to understand."

"And I'd rather not explain," stated Jeff. "You know how I feel about this "talking it out" shit."

"And you know how persuasive I can be," threatened Nick, suddenly no longer wanting to make this into a laughing matter.

Jeff couldn't match that. With a sigh he said, "I'm just sick of this whole lovely-dovey stage."

"Of Kurt and Blaine?"

"Of everyone. The only single Warbler is you, me, Nate, James and Trent. Thad's even in a relationship. _Thad_."

"If you want a boyfriend so bad, go get one." Nick didn't offer himself. He wanted to, but he didn't.

"I don't want a boyfriend," muttered Jeff in a single breath.

Nick ignored the pang in his heart and pulled at loose thread on the knee of his jeans. "Then what do you want?"

"Something else."

There was nothing else Nick could say that would cheer up his best friend. In fact it was himself that needed cheering up.

"I really wish I was going off to college," Jeff said. "I don't know if I can do another year of all this bullshit." A beat. "I'm ready to move on."

"Life outside of high school isn't much better."

"Neither is life inside."

"What about me?" Nick suddenly said, unknown courage finding him.

Jeff crinkled his nose and looked at Nick. "What about you?"

"Maybe I should rephrase that: what about us?"

"Us? What are you getting at?" Jeff was honestly confused.

Just then the front door opened, causing both boys to look over their shoulders and cock their heads to the side as a shirtless Thad appeared.

"Wow. The party out here is really great. Wish I'd thought of it," he said with a sarcastic slur. Nick glanced at Jeff and narrowed his eyes.

"Guilty," said Jeff once he caught Nick looking at him. He got up and entered the house, all the while Thad was drinking soda from a plastic cup, which Jeff had obviously spiked. Nick just wondered when Jeff had gotten the time to do that. Thad was attached to things that belonged to him, never trusting anyone to be alone with what was his.

Thad took Jeff's spot next to Nick and threw an arm around his shoulders.

"How ya doin', buddy?" Nick asked him, trying to keep in a laugh.

"I feel really good. Like, _really _good." Thad blinked twice and pursed his lips. "I'm drunk, aren't I?"

Nick allowed himself to laugh. "I'm afraid so."

"Jeff?"

"Who else?"

"I guess I'll go kill him now."

Thad got up, surprisingly sober-like, and made his way inside. Nick stared at the house across the street and listened as best as he could for the sound of supposed death inside Thad's house. He heard a girlish scream and then a mass laugh from nearly all the boys that were there. Nick smiled to himself, imaging some sort of hilarious brawl going on between the two boys. A moment later the door opened and instead of expecting it to be Jeff Nick knew who it would be. And he was right.

"The greatest thing just happened," said Blaine, still breathless from laughing. "Thad tried to punch Jeff, screaming something like "you spike me, I'll spike you!" and when he went in for the dive, Jeff depantsed him. Thad tried to run away but his ankles were trapped and he fell face first into a door. There's blood everywhere." Blaine stifled a giggle.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Blaine Anderson laughing at someone else's pain? It must have been the greatest thing in the world."

Blaine nodded and looked at the sky with guilt. "We got it on video. It's being uploaded to YouTube as we speak."

"I'll have to make sure I get that thing to go viral," stated Nick, who didn't sound all that enthused.

Blaine noticed Nick's mood and leaned against the banister. He stuck his hands in his pockets and crossed one foot over the other.

"Why the long face?" he asked.

"Jeff."

"Oh, he's fine. Thad didn't stand a chance."

Nick shook his head. "Not that."

Blaine grinned. "I know."

"Of course you do."

"Did you two talk?"

"Not really. I tried to get him to open up but he's being stubborn."

"He'll talk when he's ready."

"Story of my life," Nick stated.

"Why don't you come inside? Thad's sister's karaoke machine has been found in the basement thanks to Trent, aka Indiana Jones, and I need a duet partner," suggested Blaine.

"Save me a song?"

Blaine nodded and headed for the door. As soon as he opened it Thad's voice carried out.

"Look at all the blood! It's like Shark Week! Is this what it's like to menstruate?"

Blaine and Nick shared a laugh. A moment passed before Blaine spoke.

"Don't give up on him, Nick."

Nick looked taken aback. "Who said I was giving up on him?"

"I can see you two drifting apart. As much as you want more form him you need to give it time."

"Blaine, would you not give me a lecture? Please?" he begged.

"Alright," Blaine agreed. "Just listen to what I said."

As soon as Blaine closed the door behind him Nick let out an audible breath of air. He knew that Blaine was right and in reality he was giving Jeff time. Hell, it had been five months since everything. Nick was being fair to Jeff but Jeff wasn't being fair to Nick. It wasn't like the two of them had anything to lose. It was obvious both had an attraction to each other and Nick was starting to get impatient with his best friend. He wanted to ask "are we going to do this or what?" but was afraid that the answer would be no.

Actually, that was a lie. Nick wasn't scared of rejection. He didn't care if Jeff and him started a relationship or not, he just wanted an answer. He was tired of walking on eggshells. Though maybe it was all Nick's fault. He was so busy trying to make their friendship okay again that he really pushed the whole relationship option out the window. Jeff was busy trying to restore his mental and emotional state that he probably didn't even have room for something more.

But no, that couldn't be it. Jeff was doing well. Occasionally he'd grieve, but that was justifiable. He still hung out with the boys, spent time with his family and held a job while taking summer courses at the community college. Of course Nick had protested him going there but Jeff wasn't going to let what happened to him hold him back from life. Jeff went to concerts and football games. He ventured to open mic nights and even managed to make it to every party he was invited to. Jeff was living life with a ferocity that he hadn't once before. The only thing he managed not to take part of was romance.

And that's when Nick realized what was missing. There was a reason why Jeff was starting to lash out and begin to turn into the depressed being that took of hold him during the Spring.

Jeff refused to fall in love.

He refused to date or even consider being with another.

He refused to even be around anyone who was in a relationship, which reasoned his sudden dislike for Kurt and Blaine and any relationship talk.

It also meant that Nick didn't have a chance. _They _didn't have a chance.

"I can't believe it," Nick suddenly said aloud. He was so shocked about this. He had spent months imaging himself and Jeff together. Of course he knew it wouldn't happen until Jeff had gotten completely over what had happened to him and Nick could have sworn that he had. But he hadn't. There was a part of Jeff that was still hoarding the pain and theft. But there was still a question that sat on the surface of Nick's tongue. Had Jeff been pretending to be happy the entire time? Was he still pretending? And if so, why? Why wasn't he getting over it? He'd promised that he would, and of course it would be hard, but he promised.

Nick got up from his spot on the porch steps and made his way through the front yard. Without a single goodbye to anyone he left the party. He wouldn't be able to enjoy anything with the way he was feeling. He needed to talk this out, he needed to find someone who would listen to him. Someone who actually cared about Nick.

Jeff had driven him so he'd have no choice but to walk. Luckily for him he only lived ten blocks away. Walking would give him some time to think for a few, though thinking just made matters worse. By the time Nick had reached his house the sun was setting. Instead of going inside Nick fished his keys out of his pocket and B-lined for his car that was parked beside the curb. He wasn't entirely sure where he'd go. All he knew was that he didn't need to be alone with his constant thoughts about Jeff.

And then his phone went off in his pocket, a ring-tone of a song he no longer cared for. He looked at the screen and smiled at the name. But then he remembered that he was mad at the person and it went away.

Jeff - (5:47 pm)  
><em>Where r u?<em>

Nick didn't even bother to reply. He tossed his phone to the passenger side and started his car. It was nearly a minute later when he got a second text, which belonged to Jeff, and then another from Blaine. By the time Nick was out of Westerville he'd gotten twelve texts, seven from Jeff, three from Blaine and the rest from other Warblers that had obviously been put up to it (all the texts were the same from them, asking him where he'd run off to and to come back).

Honestly Nick liked the attention he was getting. He also knew it wouldn't last and didn't bother to bathe in it. Instead he made his way to Kurt's house. Since Kurt's return to McKinley the two of them hadn't spent as much time together as they used to, which saddened Nick. Occasionally they'd find time to hang out with each other but it was a rarity. Plus driving to and from did start to get jarring. Then there was his wallet, which seemed to get lighter and lighter with each trip.

Nick pulled up outside the familiar house and grabbed his phone, sending a quick text to Kurt asking if it'd be alright for him to stop by for a bit. Kurt's text back was immediate, and creepy.

Kurt - (6:04 pm)  
><em>I see you. Get your ass in my house.<em>

Nick did as told, locking his car door behind him as he forced himself not to answer the unanswered texts in his inbox. At the front door of the Hummel's he paused momentarily, unsure if whether or not he needed to knock. He decided against it and entered the home.

"Hello?" he called out.

"Hello?" another voice called back with an unsure tone. It belonged to Carole. She popped out of the kitchen and smiled when she realized it was Nick and not a burglar.

"Sorry, Mrs. Hummel," Nick started, "Kurt texted me..."

She smiled and nodded at him. "It's alright, hon."

He grinned back and headed for the stairs. Kurt's bedroom door was open and his voice was droning out, giving Nick the realization that someone else was in the room.

"...and that's when I told him I'm allergic to anything that wears supposed vintage sweaters and has a handle-bar mustache. He actually believed me. I'm serious, 'Cedes, sometimes he's dumber than Brittany, which is saying a lot."

"Give him a break, Kurt. Jockstraps and Rachel ain't good for anyone's brain," a female voice said back.

Kurt snorted. "Don't you mean his nuts?"

Nick peeked into Kurt's room, catching the attention of a dark-haired girl in a royal purple dress. She waved politely at him from the computer chair as Kurt came out of his bathroom, his face covered in a green-mint mask. He glanced over at Nick and put his hands on hips.

"Well if it isn't the infamous Warbler Drama Queen," he stated. "I got nearly a billion texts about you."

Nick rolled his eyes and took a seat on the foot of the bed. "Well if it isn't Elphaba. The Wicked Witch of the West herself..."

"If you're trying to insult me it isn't working," he said back, nose in the air.

"Ahem. Isn't anyone going to introduce me?" the girl asked sassy-like.

Kurt sighed and dropped his hands. "Mercedes, this is Nick. Nick, Mercedes."

"Hi," Nick said, finally waving back.

"He's not lying, you know," she declared. "Everyone's calling and texting him asking about you."

Kurt cut in. "It's super annoying and I could punch you in the face."

Nick rubbed his nails against his chest in a 'I'm better than you/bored' fashion. "You're only saying that because no one's texting me about _you_."

"I'm not that self-centered," Kurt sniffed.

Nick shrugged. "Neither am I. And it's not nice to get accused of it, is it?"

"I'm not six either."

Mercedes butted in, which was probably a good thing. "So Nick, why did you run away?"

Nick frowned and pulled one of Kurt's pillows into his chest, hugging it tightly. "I didn't run away. I just got...bored."

"Blaine tells me it was about Jeff," Kurt said, a sort of giddy finding him. Drama and Gossip would forever be his favorite subject, at least when it came to others. He joined Nick on the bed and crossed his legs.

"Not entirely."

"Wait, hold on," Mercedes said, puzzled. "Jeff's the...?"

Kurt helped jog her memory. "The one who took me to Columbus that one week. Remember? I told you."

She nodded. "Where you encountered the streaker?"

"Exactly." He grimaced.

Her eyes suddenly flashed to the other boy in the room. "So _this _is Nick."

"Yes. And ironically his recent distaste for pussy has turned him into one."

Nick glared at Kurt and tossed his pillow at his face. Kurt gasped and jumped, his hands hovering over his cheek as he ran into his bathroom.

"You're lucky my mask was dry, otherwise I would have killed you!" he shouted before returning to the two.

"You would have deserved it. No, you do deserve it." Nick crossed his arms. "Why are you being so mean to me?"

Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry. Mercedes is dragging me to some church-dinner-family thing."

She smiled widely. "He owes me. I covered for him last week; he told his dad he was staying at my house for a sleepover when he was, in fact, staying over at Blaine's."

"I've learned my lesson," Kurt muttered as he walked over to his closet. "But I'm glad you came. I need another gay perspective on my choice of outfit."

"A suit," Nick threw out, not even bothering to try to give a quality opinion.

"You're not very gay, are you?" Mercedes asked.

Nick shrugged. "I like penis. That makes me pretty gay, doesn't it?"

"I like penis, too. Am I gay?" she fired back.

He nodded slow and big, almost as if she was asking about bad news. "I guess so. Welcome to the club, er, team. Want a t-shirt?"

"What color?"

"Naturally they're every color."

"Luckily for Mercedes she can rock the multi-colored look," Kurt muttered. He turned around and held up two tops. One sky-blue and the other gray. "Now, which one?"

"Umm..." Nick squinted to act like he was picturing Kurt in one of them.

Mercedes' head lolled to the side. "What about something yellow?"

"It makes me look like the sun," he said in a sing-song voice.

With a big smile she said, "That's because you're my sunshine!"

He gave her the deadliest look he could manage, which was rather deadly.

"Go with gray," she quickly said. She then turned her head towards Nick. "So. Tell me about you and Jeff."

Nick sighed. "What's to tell?"

She moved over to sit beside him. "Kurt's given me the whole 411 on you two."

Nick shot a glance at Kurt, who was too busy in his closet to notice. "I bet he has."

"Don't look so upset," she stated. "Relationships take time."

Now, Nick didn't have much of a rude bone in his body. Sure he would tease and occasionally mock, but all that was in good fun and he never meant to intentionally hurt. If he was truly angry he only allowed those that he cared about to see. It was against his morals to be rude to anyone he did not know. But the way Mercedes was swooping on him, trying to get him to open up, _knowing _about him and his life; that's enough to make anyone snap.

"And you know about relationships from what sense of experience? Crushing on gay guys? A five day stint with a boy who moved away?" Mercedes' eyes grew wide and her hand fell upon her chest. She looked at Kurt's back as he stared petrified into the abyss that was his closet, the two shirts hanging by his sides. "Yeah, Kurt tells me things too. And just like you, I don't like it when other people know about my business."

Nick got up and headed toward the door, but before he left he spoke one more time. "I know you like gossip, Kurt, but there are some things that aren't meant for sharing. I really thought you were my friend."

He was not pleased to admit it, but his summer ended with a bang and without a single trace of a whimper.

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><p><strong>Next Time: <strong>Schools back in session, Nick's being a pain in the ass, the number of Warblers is sadly low and Sebastian Smythe is my favorite (for now at least).


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **I had way too much head-canon/meta problems going on during this chapter, which makes it a filler. Hurray. I wish I could have made it a little more special but for now...that'll do, pig.

Thank you to those who took some time out to read this. I'd love to know your thoughts so don't be afraid to review.

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><p><em>I ain't got nothing left to give<em>  
><em>nothing to lose<em>

The only sound that echoed oddly throughout the Dalton Academy halls located in the lower level of the school belonged to Nick and his loafers as he ran to his homeroom. Of course Nick never planned on being late on his first day back at school, but because he felt a sudden need for coffee (and apparently as did the—as what seemed—entire population of Ohio, or at least Lima and/or Westerville) from Lima Bean, it caused him to be ten minutes late for class (minus the five minute causality that followed). Nick could have always gotten a latte from the lounge at Dalton, but it didn't really taste all that great—nor did it produce enough caffeine.

As he swallowed his seventh sip of his hot beverage, he pulled into the Dalton parking lot and squeezed his car between two very shiny BMWs; one blue, the other silver. He then began to juggle as he climbed out, his bag full of summer projects being pulled down thanks to gravity and refusing to stay on Nick's shoulder while the coffee in his left hand threatened to spill. He triumphed the multi-taksing job and was finally ready to enter the building. But as life likes to pull the carpet out from beneath him, a bee buzzed in his ear, causing Nick to shout and jump out of his skin, making his bag fall to the ground and his coffee to fly from his hand to his chest.

Glancing at his watch with a grimace on his face, he realized he was now nearly fifteen minutes behind. He quickly jogged back to his trunk and opened it, pulling out a fresh blazer, tie and white dress shirt out from a duffel bag. He removed his currently coffee-esque blazer and everything else that seemed to smell like what was supposed to be his breakfast and replaced it with fresh clothes. He hoped this wasn't an omen for how his day would be as he made his way into the building, but part of him knew it would be silly if he told himself otherwise.

All eyes flashed to him when he opened the door that led to his homeroom/French classroom, which was full of some familiar faces he'd managed to avoid talking to since Thad's party. He was out of breath and wished that he had not sent his coffee to an early death. It was way too early to be this exhausted.

The French teacher crossed her arms as she glanced at Nick, a menacing grin taking place on her face.

"Thank you for joining us, Monsieur Duval," said Mademoiselle Fredrick.

Nick cast his eyes away from those looking at him and to the nearest empty desk. He took it quickly, muttering an apology to the teacher. It was dead silent as he stared at his shoes, noticing that he spilt coffee on them as well. Then he realized the silence was lasting longer than it should have. He glanced up, the teacher's green eyes on him, her arms still crossed and her pony-tail seeming to want to escape from the back of her head as much as Nick wanted to escape her gaze.

He cleared his throat. "Um, yes?"

"Would you like to explain why you're so late or should I just unjustly give you detention for a week?"

"I, um, I..." He allowed himself to glance around quickly, noticing all eyes on him along with a few laughs. Not wanting to make the laughs populate by his clumsiness and quasi-fear of bugs, he looked down at his hands on his desk and said, "I'm sorry, Mademoiselle Fredrick; it won't happen again."

She looked at him incredulously before turning back to the rest of the class. Nick felt someone poke his back and glanced behind him unwillingly to see Trent, who was smiling shyly at him.

"Hi," Trent whispered. Nick smiled, nodded and turned his attention back to the teacher, who was going on about her summer and how she expected those in her French classes to have finished their three-paged essay about theirs, in French. Then Nick remembered that he left his at home. _Yeah, I would have been kidding myself to think this day would get better and not worse,_ he thought to himself. Before the five minute bell went off she handed out their schedules, and thankfully French II was nearly last for Nick and would give him time to go home and get his essay during lunch. _Always a silver lining, I guess._

The bell rang and he glanced at the paper in his hand to see which class was first, and like every year since he was a freshman, he grudgingly stalked off to P.E. He headed to the locker room, keeping his head low as if he could turn invisible that way. His locker combo had been the same for four years now but for a moment or two he could not, for the life of him, remember the sequence of clockwise and counterclockwise turns that unleashed a stench that would never disappear no matter how much cologne was sprayed. He was reunited with that smell when his memory finally returned.

"Stowing away a dead body?" a smooth voice asked. Nick looked to his right and spotted a body tugging off a tie. He was tall and slender, his shoulders high and a very cocky smirk on his face. He was also very cute, a thought that left him puzzled**—**he didn't really ever find anyone attractive.

"Promise you won't tell?" Nick retorted, trying to force a smile that said "I'm witty, but not oh-so pretty".

The boy laughed and Nick forced himself to face his locker and not watch the person undress. "I don't think it's me you have to worry about. The smell itself will grow a pair of legs and head straight for the Westerville Police station."

"Hi, Nick!" another voice chirped. He looked behind and saw Trent walking up to him. _And I was also kidding myself to think I could avoid everyone._

"Hey." Nick turned to his ancient-stink locker and pulled out his new gym uniform that was placed there sometime during the summer when he registered for school. In the corner of his eye he could see the new guy raise an eyebrow as he finished getting dressed.

"I feel like it's been years since we last talked," Trent said.

Nick nodded and shed himself of his blazer and tie, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and kicking off his shoes at the same time. "Yeah, I've been busy."

The new guy let out a breathy chuckle and shut his locker and left.

"Oh, right. I better get dressed. See ya in a minute."

"Yeah, bye."

Once dressed, Nick made his escape to the gym where a class full of boys from each grade—wearing the exact same gray t-shirt that said Dalton in red letters with matching red shorts—were waiting for Coach Greene. You could tell the freshman apart from the rest by the way they shuffled about awkwardly and alone. Luckily for Nick he knew mostly all the other boys that were stifling yawns and talking about their summer. Nick made his way to a group of three seniors that he rarely talked to.

"Sup?" said a red-haired boy named Ben. Nick gave a jerk of his head that replied "yo" and greeted the rest.

"Fucking gym, right?" said another boy named Ben, too.

"Totally," chimed in Nick. "I like gym and all, but I was hoping I'd get a later class. It's way too early to see Coach Greene's bulge."

Both Ben's laughed while Gary, last year's student body president, shook his head with a grimace. "You're only chance of getting out of P.E. would to be on a sports team. Or cramps, but us men don't posses a uterus. Thank God."

"Yeah, well, most people at Dalton are too snooty or too sucky to take part in the teams here," said red-haired Ben. "They're all playing sports their daddy's bribed for them in actual arenas with other prissy rich guys who hate getting sweaty or actually working with other people." Ben was obviously one of those students who got into Dalton on scholarship and held a bitter animosity towards those who could pay for tuition with their own allowance and still have enough money to buy out a mall.

Other Ben snorted. "Does anyone even take part of Dalton's sports teams?"

"Only a few," said Nick, thinking of a few friends of his that lived for the team atmosphere and representing Dalton.

"No one takes them serious, though," red-haired Ben said, making a face at the idea of anyone actually caring about something.

"Except Anderson," pointed out Gary.

Red-haired Ben rolled his eyes. "Anderson thinks he's a God. He'll do anything if it means people will fall in love with him."

Nick wanted to defend Blaine but before he could get a chance to speak Coach Greene appeared, bossing the class to run a few laps around the gym before class officially started. Nick made sure to get away from the two Bens and Gary. He was the first to finish running the laps, followed by Gary and a freshman who wore flip-flops, something he was sure Coach Greene would go psycho for.

The coach had the students sit down after everyone else had finished their laps. Nick sat a few feet away from the flip-flop wearing freshman. Trent sat beside him, a timid smile being thrown in Nick's direction. _At least Trent's the only Warbler in this class, _Nick told himself.

"How hot is the new guy?" Trent asked, keeping his voice low as the coach boomed about exercise and how awesome it is and how if you suck you're fat-ass will be getting a fat-assed F in his class.

"There are about fifteen new guys in this class. Some hot." Nick's eyes flickered to his locker neighbor, who was texting on his cellphone inconspicuously behind the back of a sweaty Gary. Then Nick glanced at the freshman beside him, his toes grossly weird looking. "And some not."

"I mean, that one guy that was next to your locker? Tell me he doesn't make you just cream yourself?"

Nick had to do a double take at Trent. "Whoa. Language. And no, he doesn't."

Trent narrowed his eyes. "Please. He's cuter than any guy at school."

"My tastes differs from yours, thank you very much," Nick replied, keeping his attention to the coach's face.

"Oops, I forgot. He's not _blonde_."

"Shut up," Nick said through tight lips. Trent laughed and did as Nick said.

Two seconds later Trent leaned over and whispered in Nick's ear. "I totally want to bone him, though."

Nick groaned and fell back against the linoleum, muttering about how this day would never end. He glanced at his watch and groaned even louder. It was just barely 8 AM.

-:-

By lunch time Nick was ready to call it a day. After four long classes full of summer inquiries and an ongoing silent treatment that was much more trouble than it was worth, Nick was exhausted. But as it was, the day was not yet over and there were more classes to attend and more things to do. Instead of spending his lunch eating and drinking numerous amounts of cans of Coke, he was rushing home to get his French essay. Their was hardly any traffic and his house was empty and silent for once, and his bed looked awfully comfy. He forced himself to look away and grab his essay that he'd printed earlier in the morning but had forgotten to grab on his way out.

He left his house—it seemed to taunt him and beckon for him to go back and sleep—and headed back for Dalton, oddly wishing that a car accident would happen and he'd get stuck in traffic. And because he wanted that to happen so badly all the lights were green and everyone out driving seemed to be in a careful, thoughtful hurry.

Since it was their first day back, the Warblers didn't need to have the forty minutes of practice the usually had, mostly because there was nothing to practice. Nick spent his free time sitting in his car, doing some early assigned homework.

Twenty minutes or so before the bell rang for sixth period, Nick and all the Warblers from last year (minus the ones who graduated, or quit) headed to the choir room. This was the moment of the day that Nick dreaded the most. How was he supposed to face them after what had happened three weeks ago? Obviously he'd have to talk to them again. Being a coward slash drama queen slash grudged out grumpy ass wasn't going to work for his plans that he'd made during the end of last year, so he sucked it up and went to practice.

He was there before anyone else, though Thad joined shortly after, carrying a fancy leather-bound notebook that held the official minutes and other things that were a mystery to anyone that wasn't on council. Thad was the only person from the council left since David and Wes went to college, leaving him to be held responsible for the duty of, what the Warblers liked to call, Higher Power duties.

"Hey," Nick said quietly.

Thad nodded and took a sat at the desk, the two empty seats beside him oddly depressing. The rest of the Warblers came in, each one peppier than the next. All smiled and greeted Nick, even though they all knew Nick had been moody and cut-off from them. Nick tried his best to be civil, seeing as how some of them were barely friends with him.

Jeff came in last, his hands stuffed in his pockets. It was the first time Nick had seen him since Thad's party. He had gotten a hair cut, but that was all Nick could see different. He was just as cute, though. And when he saw Nick he smiled brightly until he realized that Nick would not return it. He quickly let his brown eyes flutter to someone that wasn't Nick and went over to that person. Nick smiled to himself; he couldn't help it.

"Take a seat, everyone," Thad ordered, the sound of his gavel echoing slightly. Everyone did as he said, not a single peep or joke or cough. They all knew Thad was serious business, and with Wes gone they wouldn't be able to get away with most things.

Nick sat beside Trent and another Warbler named Kevin. He watched Jeff as he sat on the opposite couch beside Blaine. It bothered Nick that Jeff wouldn't look at him. Then he had to remind himself that _no, he didn't want Jeff to look at him. _Which was probably the biggest lie he'd ever told and made himself look away and pay attention to Thad.

"This year is going to be a good-one, obviously. But before we plan our wins, which are inevitable, we need to get back to the basics. As you all know, we lost some beloved members, two of which were part of the council. With that said, we need to elect two to take their places. And not only that but we need to hold auditions and recruit more members, which we'll talk about next time. Right now, let's figure out the council situation. You all know this is a democracy and until we have a full council, majority rules. Everyone here will get a chance to nominate a new member, or, if someone wants it badly enough, make a case for yourself." Thad banged his gavel. "Begin."

Trent's hand shot into the air. "I nominate Blaine."

"Seconded," said Jeff, almost thoughtlessly. Blaine's face had gone slightly pale even though he was grinning kindly. But there was something off. He wasn't exactly acting modest or bashful like he would normally do. He was, if Nick could guess correctly, looking uncomfortable, which was something he'd never really ever seen Blaine look like before.

Each of the Warblers agreed, enthusiastically nodding and saying how perfect he'd be. Nick was last to give his opinion, all eyes hopeful and looming on him. He felt his neck grow warm and squirmed where he sat.

"Well, Blaine would be great. Him leading us last year won us Sectionals and would have won us Regionals had it not been for poorly chosen judges," everyone agreed on this, though they all knew it was an entirely different reason that cost them first place, "but I would also like to nominate myself as well."

"Really?" Jeff asked, obviously not intending to say that allowed. Nick nodded in response instinctively.

Blaine smiled at him. "I definitely second Nick."

"So, are we all voting for Nick and Blaine, or does anyone else want to throw their name into the hat?" Thad asked, looking up at the Warblers. Each glanced at each other, trying to see who had anything to say. When no one did, Thad began to fill out a page in the book.

"Actually," Blaine began hesitantly, his uncomfortableness showing even more, "I'd rather not be a council member."

Everyone gasped and their jaws dropped. Nick thought it to be rather dramatic, picturing some of them clutching their pearls like old women. Blaine must've thought the same thing by the way he sighed loud enough to cause the rest to stop their semi-whining.

"I'm really honored that you all are so supportive of me by voting, but it's honestly not that big of deal. I'd rather remain just a simple Warbler who has no Higher Power. Thank you."

Thad crossed out whatever he'd written; probably Blaine's name. "Fine. Nick's in, who else?"

Most the Warblers forced themselves to look anywhere but at Thad, as if single eye-contact would condemn them for life. Nick had nothing to worry about but even he was afraid, or at least didn't want to be part of the awkwardness. He stared at Trent's shoes and noticed how they were moving slightly, as if he were about to get up. His eyes rose to Trent's and instead of expecting to meet them he realized Trent had done what the rest were trying so hard not to do.

Trent raised his hand slightly, his palm glistening in an unnoticeable way. "I'd, um, I'd like to take part, er, I mean..." This was probably the most nervous Trent had ever been in his entire existence.

"Fantastic," Thad said without any enthusiasm, in fact, he was border-lining sarcasm. "Anyone second this?"

"Seconded," Nick and Jeff said at the same time. They smiled at each other, and then both smiles quickly faded as they turned their attention to the rest of the Warblers who were all agreeing to this.

"Then it's decided. Nick, Trent; welcome." He banged his gavel and noted some things down in the leather-bound book. "Tomorrow there will be no practice. The council will spend fifth period posting signs and fliers throughout the school for tryouts. I ask that all of you spread the word this week and try to recruit new members."

A Warbler named Jensen raised his hand. Thad glanced at him and lowered his head, giving him the okay to speak. "And what do the rest of us do during fifth?"

"I suggest either staying here till the bell or use it as a free period and go to study hall or the library. Those that are seniors and juniors may go off campus. If you can find somewhere else to be that isn't distracting or have permission to be, you may go there. That's all. Everyone's dismissed."

The bell rang just then, as if it had been patiently waiting for Thad to finish. The Warblers' gathered up their things and headed to sixth period. As Thad placed the leather-bound folder into his bag, he beckoned for Nick to fall back. Nick walked up to the front of the desk, watching as Thad tried to get his bag somewhat organized.

"I'll text you and Trent in advance of the schedules."

"Alright..."

"But I'm going to need you to skip lunch and help me with the posters and stuff tomorrow."

"Trent, too?"

"He usually does other things during lunch, so I expect not."

Nick let all his weight fall on his left leg. "Why can't Trent help?"

"Why can't you?" Thad narrowed his eyes at Nick as he walked off to the door. "It's not a big deal. Just meet me here after fourth." Nick followed Thad shortly after he left and made a B-line for the stairs.

"Nick!" he heard someone shout through the buzzing halls. He recognized the voice as Jeff's and refused to acknowledge it, feeling rather guilty. It had been easy to keep up the silent treatment during the summer when he could avoid Jeff justly, but now that they were back at Dalton they would without a doubt run into each other constantly. Nick knew he needed to give in and start to be friends again but he just wasn't quite ready to let Jeff win.

Not this time.

* * *

><p><strong>Next Time: <strong>Nick misses Jeff, Jeff _ really_ misses Nick, and Kurt is the best gift us tiny humans could ever get.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** There are a few highlights for me while writing; Thad, "flip-flop freshman", and how I just wanted to scrap it all and read Little Numbers over and over again (yes that's a highlight! bitchyoudon'tknowmylife). This was also the easiest chapter I've ever written, so that was a lovely plus (but that doesn't mean it's any good).

* * *

><p><em>So come on love, draw your swords<br>shoot me to the ground_

Nick felt consciousness almost instantaneously. It was still dark in his bedroom and he couldn't figure out why he was awake. He opened his eyes wide enough to take a glance at the clock. He had two more hours before his alarm clock would go off. He had no reason to be awake yet and was just about to go back to sleep when the origin for his early awakening made itself heard.

Across from his bed was his computer desk where his cellphone was currently being charged. The screen was lit and three buzzes escaped from it, indicating either a call or a text, but since the buzzing stopped Nick guessed it to be a text. He sat up on his bed and walked over it, stumbling a bit on his morning legs. The light from the screen stung his eyes but he powered through it, yawning quietly as he read his text.

Thad - (5:12 am)  
><em>I realize how insane my last text was but it's true. I need your help asap!<em>

Nick went to his inbox and found Thad's other text, which he had to read a few times to let it sink in.

Thad - (4:57 am)  
><em>I was having a dream that me and Kurt were fighting over some chips and he kept hogging the bowl and was snacking on them and wouldn't let me have any and I woke up thinking how bizarre it was because Kurt doesn't even eat chips but I kept hearing the crunchy noise and I turned on my light and I kid you not...my dog ate all the fliers for tryouts.<em>

Nick - (5:15 am)  
><em>I told you that dog was evil. Never trust a poodle.<em>

Thad - (5:16 am)  
><em>I'm all out of color ink. Can I borrow your printer?<em>

Nick - (5:16 am)  
><em>Just email me the flier and I'll print it and bring it to school.<em>

Thad - (5:17 am)  
><em>Genius.<em>

Nick sat in his computer chair and went to his inbox, waiting patiently for Thad's email. It arrived a minute later and he spent the next twenty minutes printing fliers until his ink ran out. There were nearly fifty and he figured it would have to be enough and went back to bed. Sleep never returned but at least he was comfy and warm and rather happy for the time being.

At six he got out of bed and snapped on his light, noticing how messy his room was. He had paper and books near the floor of the foot of his bed and his clothes were pushed into a pile against his closet door. He even managed to balance the messes on the sides by having his shoes right in the middle. He figured since he was awake and had an hour or so to kill, he'd clean.

After sniffing through his clothes to figure out what was clean or dirty or in question and putting his books in a neat pile on his desk or back on his bookshelf, he made his way beneath his bed where he found all sorts of things; some type of button that belonged to one of Kurt's jackets, his younger brother's yellow HotWheel, a test from last year (which had a rather big F on it), a pen, and a note from Jeff. Nick grabbed it, along with everything else, and crawled back out from under his bed, unfolded it and began to read it.

_Nick,_

_In case you're wondering why I'm writing to you like a fourteen year old girl in middle school it's because my phone died. I can't charge it because I'm at school (obviously). I'm also bored. Dr. Norton is probably the most mundane teacher ever. Though it is hilarious when he gets all pissy when someone calls him mister instead of doctor. I mean, you got a degree in Math! What a great achievement...you must be so proud. Ugh. Math. Norton. Dead phone. Kill. Me. Now. Anyway. No school Friday! Guess what I'll be doing? That's right. A college stud. Joking! Sort of. The bell is about to ring! You'll probably find this note stashed in your bag! Surprise!_

_Your bestest friend,_  
><em>Jeffy<em>

Nick's grin was ear to ear and he couldn't help laughing. He had forgotten all about this note. He did, in fact, find it stashed in his bag later that day while in the same Math class Jeff had been in earlier during the day. He had laughed then, too, nearly getting kicked out. This was from last year and things had been so simpler then. Jeff was gleeful and always smiling, making jokes about almost everything. Nick was less serious and was usually matching Jeff's attitude. It was insane how fast things changed after that. This note had been written nearly four days before the incident that happened to Jeff. In fact, Nick found himself frowning at the line about the "college stud".

With anger finding Nick for the first time today, he crumpled up the note and tossed it back under his bed and finished cleaning up. All the while the anger only seemed to simmer slightly as he made his way to his closet where he pulled out a clean uniform off it's hanger. His alarm clock went off suddenly, making him nearly punch himself in the chin as he tied his tie. He rushed over to turn it off and put his shoes on. More buzzing came from his phone and he grabbed for it while attempting to put his books in his bag.

"Hello?"

"How'd the early printing go?" asked Thad.

"Swell. Now I'm also out of ink."

"Sorry. I'll buy you some more this weekend," he replied.

"Thanks," Nick said.

"Are you okay? You seem irritated."

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired and I just can't catch a break."

"What do you mean?"

Nick wasn't sure whether he wanted to open up to Thad or not. He was Nick's friend, but nothing really past that. They talked about incidental things and hung out on weekends. That was it, though. They didn't talk about drama or life problems. It was much like a work-only friendship. But now, as Thad and Nick would becoming closer throughout the school year, he wondered if it would be okay to let him know about his issues. It wasn't like Nick had anyone else, especially since he was no longer speaking to those closest to him.

But would Thad understand? He was way more serious than Nick and didn't really know how to be a teenager. He had a grown-up mentality. And what if Nick did tell Thad? Would he side with him or just scold Nick for acting the way he was? Nick needed an ally, someone who would comfort him and agree. It didn't seem likely that Thad would be what Nick needed in a true friend.

So he said, "Nothing. I'll talk to you at school."

The two hung up and Nick made his way downstairs, passing up breakfast (which would have been a bowl of cereal) and left his house. Since he had plenty of time before school started he went to the Lima Bean, ordering a large cup of coffee (three sugars, three creams) and snagged a table in the back. He pulled out his cellphone and played a game of Angry Birds. He made his bird miss his pig marginally when he heard the voice of Kurt Hummel beside his table.

"I though it was you," Kurt said, meekly.

"What gave me away?" Nick mumbled. Kurt laughed. Nick hadn't thought he made a joke.

"The Dalton blazer mostly. I'd spot those eye-sores a mile away."

Nick nodded and tried to return to his game but was aware of Kurt still standing there. He glanced up, an eyebrow raised, and waited for Kurt to take a hint. But he took the opposite.

"Can I sit?"

"Sure." _Dammit._

"How are you?" he asked.

Nick shrugged. "Fine."

Kurt smiled sadly. "That's not what I hear."

"Really?"

"I hear you're doing really badly, actually."

"From who? Blaine?"

Kurt shrugged. "Yes, no. Everyone. Anyone who cares about you."

"That's nice."

"I know you're mad at me but could you at least talk to me like a decent human fucking being!" he hissed. Nick only stared at him, trying to figure if he should stick his ground or grab his coffee and leave. "Everyone was saying how much of a dick you were being but I thought they were exaggerating."

"Then you must be rather clueless."

"Excuse me?"

Nick scoffed. "In case me ignoring your texts and phone calls wasn't a big enough sign, I'm mad at you. Actually, mad is an understatement. I'm fucking pissed at you."

"Because I told one person about you?"

"Not about me. About_ my life._There's a big difference."

Kurt clucked his tongue. "It looks rather small to me. You are your life, Nick. And just like your life, you're starting to be rather pathetic."

Nick had no comeback. How could he respond to something so shockingly true?

"Oh, God..." Kurt began to say once seeing Nick's crestfallen face, "I didn't mean it."

Nick sniffed and blinked his eyes, trying to keep them from watering. "No, you did. But that's okay because you're right." Kurt shook his head and opened his mouth to protest, his eyes wide and full of concern, but Nick stopped him. "You're honest, Kurt. It's one of the reasons why I like you so much. I admire it."

"You're not pathetic. I was just saying that because I was mad."

"It's true, though." Nick's head dropped and his face fell into his hands. "When did everything fall to shit."

"It'll be alright," Kurt promised.

Nick put his hands down on the table and took a deep breath. Kurt gave him a sympathy grin and then took a sip of his coffee.

"I better go to school."

Kurt nodded. "Me too."

Nick grabbed his bag from behind the chair and placed it on his shoulder. He made sure to hold his coffee correctly in his hands as prepared to leave. Kurt mirrored him, keeping his eye on Nick as if he was expecting him to go berserk.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

Kurt smiled. "I'm sorry, too. Friends?"

"As long as you don't give me a makeover," Nick warned.

"I hate you, but deal."

The two linked their arms together as they left the coffee shop, having to split up since both were parked on either ends. They said their goodbyes once they parted and headed to their separate schools. Before Nick had put his car in reverse his phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket and read the text that was there.

Kurt - (7:14 am)  
><em>I meant what I said. You're not pathetic.<em>

-:-

That morning was much of a blur to Nick, mostly because he became nonchalant after talking to Kurt. He was getting tired of always being in some sort of mood and just wanted to be in an 'okay' state. He didn't want to try hard to avoid talking to his friends or hang out with those that talked crap about those said friends. He didn't want to worry about anything. He just wanted a normal Tuesday.

Right before the bell that signaled lunchtime went off, Nick received a text from Thad, reminding (or bossing, as Nick liked to think of it) him that the two were to go throughout the school and post up notices on the bulletin-boards, hand out simple photoshoped fliers and put up the occasional poster. Nick's stomach grumbled and he regretted passing up a delicious if not sugar-full bowl breakfast of Coco Puffs.

As everyone flooded their classrooms and headed for either their cars or the cafeteria, Nick squirmed to the sides of the halls and evenly made his way to the Warbler practice room. Thad was there already, putting everything into piles. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard Nick enter the room, a wide grin showing its self there.

"Making these posters took ages. And they were a fortune to copy and print and everything. But, what do you think?" Thad grabbed one of the nearly body-length posters and held it up, the infamous Warbler logo taking up the middle, a slight golden hint to it. As Nick took a better look, he could see that it was glittered. He stifled a laugh and examined the rest, reading the words quickly: _'The Dalton Academy Warblers'_ was at the top, and beneath the sparkly bird it said_ 'Auditions this Friday after school! We need your voice!'_ And at the very bottom in tiny, bold quotations it read_ 'If someone asked me to describe the Warblers in seven words, I'd say, "I really only need two. Bad. Ass." And there's your seven words.' - Jeffery Thomas Sterling, Warbler_

"Like the quote?" Thad asked, clearly trying to keep in his excitement.

Nick couldn't help but match Thad's huge grin. "Uh...yeah. It's brilliant!"

"I did one for the other ten. You can put them up and read them and continue to boast my ego."

Nick laughed and pulled out the fliers from his bag. He handed them to Thad who split them in half and handed the ones in his right to Nick.

"You pass them out whenever you see anyone. I'm going to go put a few of the mini-posters I made in classrooms and whatnot."

"You've really got your shit together, don't you?" Nick asked, quite surprised at how, well, surprised his tone was.

Thad shrugged. "Last year David and Wes were the ones really in charge, and now it's my turn. I kind of want to do them good, ya know?"

"You'll be even better."

Thad's smile was genuine. "Thanks, man. Now, let's get going. If we do it fast enough we'll be able to go get something to eat. Taco Bell? My treat."

"Sweet," Nick said as he set his bag down on the couch besides Thad's and collected all the posters. As they left the room, Thad gave Nick a roll of Scotch tape.

Nick put the first poster across from the foot of the staircase so it'd be the first things anyone saw. He smiled at Jeff's quote as he put tape behind the poster and made sure it was sticking well against the well. He roamed the halls, making sure each poster was a decent distant from each other and could be found through out the school.

All the quotes filled him with pride, reminding him why he loved being a Warbler so much. It wasn't the fact that he could sing or be with a group, it was the fact that it was a brotherhood. These guys were going to be his friend regardless of the way he was acting. Whether they were no longer a Warbler or not, they would be there for him.

As he hung up the last poster just beside the school's entrance, he knew then that he would put his problems aside and would no longer ignore those who meant the most to him.

_"I guess you could say that the Warblers mean the world to me. We could go home as losers but I'd still feel like a winner. What more could a guy ask for then a group of friends who understand me? If I had to choose between being the richest, happiest man in the world or spending a few hours a day singing a song in high school, I'd choose the song. Every time." - Nicholas L. Duval, Warbler_

He had said that right after his first year as a Warbler. They had unfortunately lost Regionals but Nick hadn't let that damper his spirit. While the other Warblers went home, Jeff and Nick had decided that they needed to celebrate. They'd had a mini party that only consisted of the two, blasting the radio and buying far too much junk food. A few horror movies later they found themselves dead tired, passing out on the living room floor as ending credits droned on from the TV. Before falling asleep, Nick remembered feeling Jeff's fingers intertwine with his. He swore he'd never feel happier than he felt then.

Nick walked away from the poster and headed to the cafeteria. A few people addressed his presence as he walked by. He handed fliers to groups of boys, some unfamiliar looking and others he knew rather well. There was one table where a boy sat beside himself, a blank black book in his hands, the spine creased and cracked. Nick realized the boy was the same one from the locker room who'd made a crack about his locker. He looked slick in his uniform; it gave Nick the chills slightly.

The boy looked up as Nick came to a halt in front of him, a cocked eyebrow and slight smirk on his face.

"Nice to see you outside the shorts and B.O.," the boy greeted.

Nick laughed forcefully. "Yeah, uh. Yeah."

"Sebastian," he said abruptly.

"Yeah, totally," Nick agreed with a nod, then he frowned. "Um, what?"

"I'm Sebastian. You're Nick."

"I am." He didn't sound so sure.

"I hope that's an invite to an orgy because if it's not then I am definitely not interested." Sebastian's eyes shot down to a flier in Nick's hand. Nick glanced down to make sure it was still about the auditions.

"Close," Nick started, a breathy laugh escaping. Sebastian only blinked. "The Warblers—the school's choir—we're holding tryouts. You should come."

Sebastian's eyes fell back to his book but he continued to speak. "I can't sing."

"Oh, well, maybe you could just keep this just in case?" Nick slid the flier across the table.

"Sure. I may need something to wipe my ass with. You're a doll."

Nick frowned deeply and turned away from the new boy, who was more of a dick than Nick had thought he'd be. He guessed that he was sarcastic but it seemed all in good fun. His pocket vibrated and he pulled his phone out, still slightly pissed off about Sebastian.

Thad - (12:15 pm)  
><em>I'm nearly finished. Did you pass out fliers?<em>

Nick took a seat at an empty table and sighed.

Nick - (12:16 pm)  
><em>Yep. I all but stood in front of the cafeteria and threatened people to audition or else I'd kill their mothers.<em>

Thad - (12:16 pm)  
><em>Harsh.<em>

Nick - (12:17 pm)  
><em>You, me, tacos, now.<em>

Thad - (12:17 pm)  
><em>Will you kill my mother?<em>

Nick - (12:17 pm)  
><em>Maybe. Meet you by my car.<em>

"Tacos make everything better," Nick said to himself as put Sebastian behind him and walked merrily out of the school.

-:-

Nick's final class of the day was Theatre II, which was a treat. Ms. Marcus enjoyed improv more than actually teaching her students about the dramatic arts. As Nick, Trent and James, another senior Warbler, waited for their turn at a game of "Party Goers", they talked amongst themselves.

"Have you guys seen Blaine today?" James asked, trying to decide whether he wanted his sleeves pushed up to his elbows or left how they were.

Trent shrugged. "This morning, I think. Why?"

"He wasn't in Spanish."

"What period is your Spanish class?" Nick asked, watching one of the boys on the stage of the auditorium dive to the ground, acting out his character who was supposed to think he was being haunted.

"Sixth," James replied, finally deciding that he'd keep one sleeve pushed up and let the other stay as it was.

"He probably went off campus during fifth, maybe to see Kurt. He was probably late," Nick figured.

"Actually, I didn't see him last period," Trent said, a worried look on his face.

"He probably went home sick," Nick reassured them.

Jame's face matched Trent's. "I hope so."

Twenty minutes later the bell rang, signaling another day done with. Nick had a modest amount of homework he'd have to do and with no after school Warbler practice he realized he'd have hours to kill. It was odd. Nick liked to stay busy on weekdays—it made them go by faster. As he handed out his last and final flier to someone from his Theatre class, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Jeff stood behind him, a stiff mouth as he kept the strap of his bag on his shoulder.

"Look, I know you're not talking to me anymore. Whatever. If it makes you happy. But here." He pulled out a blank disc from his back pocket titled "SORRY I'M A TWAT" in a clear plastic case and handed it to Nick. "Everything I haven't said, everything I should've said...needed to say...is here. You don't have to be my friend again or anything, but just listen to it."

Without getting permitted a reply, Jeff turned on a heel and pounded down the hallway, not ever glancing back. Nick watched Jeff's back until he disappeared behind a corner. Nick ran a hand through his hair and scratched his scalp, finally remembering that it was time to go home.

Outside the steps of Dalton sat the flip-flop freshman from Nick's gym class. His bag was resting by his feet where he was wearing regular brown dress shoes, black scuff marks at the very tips of them. His chin rested on his knuckles and he stared distantly into the parking-lot. He looked up at Nick and dropped his hands.

"Hey," he said.

Nick paused where he was, realizing that the freshman wanted something from him. All Nick wanted to do was play the CD in his hand that seemed to get heavier and hotter.

"Uh...'sup?"

"You drive, right?"

"Uh...yeah."

"Do you think you could give me a ride? My mom texted me that she couldn't pick me up today."

"Uh...sure."_ Damn,_ Nick thought. _Why can't I be like Sebastian?_

"Awesome," the freshman said as he stood up and grabbed his bag, bounding down the steps until the was on the edge of the curb of the dropout, nearly running out past a car. He looked back at Nick and gave a look that side "yikes".

"My car's that silver one." Nick pointed to a car only a few feet away. The two made there way to it, more safe than the freshman had done mere moments ago.

As Nick unlocked the car doors and got ready to start driving, he wondered on whether or not he should play Jeff's CD. In the end he decided against it. This was something that was meant for just Nick.

"I'm Danny, by the way," said flip-flop freshman.

Nick nodded and glanced sideways at the boy. He had dirty-blonde hair that was cut at weird angles, making it hard to tell if it was short hair attempting to grow and be long or long hair that was recently cut—badly. He was rather tall and very skinny, the definition of "gangly". He also noticed something else.

"Seat-belt?" Nick reminded him.

Danny narrowed his eyes out the window, then looked down at his chest to see if Nick was lying. He all but slapped his forehead as he put his seat-belt on.

"What grade are you in?" Danny asked.

"Twelfth," replied Nick in a neutral tone.

"That's cool. So you've been at Dalton this entire time?"

"Uh, yeah."

Danny's nods were constant. "Cool. Cool."

"So...no flip-flops today?" Nick asked, feeling quite ridiculous.

The boy looked down at his feet and he pursed his lips. "Coach Greene gave me detention for wearing them and the school said they were against dress-code. Anyway, I only wore them because I didn't have dress shoes yet. But now," he nodded at his feet, "no more toesies."

Nick crinkled his nose. "Right."

"Hey, I heard a rumor."

Nick wanted to laugh. "About...?"

"You," he stated.

"Shoot."

"Are you—"

"—gay?" Nick finished for him.

Danny's eyes went wide and he leaned into Nick, whispering, "You're gay?"

"Is that not the rumor going around?" Nick felt very out of the loop.

"No. I haven't heard anything about that. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay," he said assertively.

Nick finally allowed himself to laugh, no longer feeling unsure about Danny. He was, after all, a freshman. Freshmen were harmless. A little lost and confused, but harmless nonetheless.

"What's the rumor then?"

"That you're the one in charge of the senior prank? I was hoping that you were because I want in. I want to be _that guy_. You know what I'm talking about?"

Nick shook his head. "No, no clue. And where am I going? I totally forgot to ask you where you lived."

Danny snorted. "I totally forgot that I was even in a car." He gave Nick his address and went straight back into the supposed rumor. "I remember hearing some seniors in gym talk about a big huge prank that had you involved. It was, um...what were their names again? Ben and Jerry?"

"You mean the Bens and Gary?"

"Ha! Close!" Danny gave himself a clap on the back and Nick had to do everything to keep his face normal. This kid was super weird, but in a good way.

"They were talking about a prank involving me?"

"Yeah. But maybe it wasn't you. Is there any other Nick in the school?"

"I know three others. There might be more now. I'm not sure."

"Any one of those Nick's a senior?" Danny asked.

"All three are seniors, actually. So they were probably talking about one of them because the Bens and Gary are not my cup of tea." Nick wasn't sure when he refereed to the group as that, but it fit wonderfully.

Nick started looking for the address that Danny had given him, only spotting stores, small businesses and an apartment complex. Danny pointed to the apartments, a sheepish grin on his face. Nick smiled kindly to him, understanding Danny's sudden calmness. Dalton was more of a rich school for rich kids who had a rich parents, unless they'd gotten in by scholarship. Nick never thought himself the rich guy, but apparently he was—at least compared to Danny.

"You can stop right here," Danny suggested as Nick drove through the entrance. "Thanks."

"No problem," Nick said. Danny unbuckled his seat-belt and got out of the car. Nick then spotted a flier sticking out of his bag, a leftover one that he must have missed, and quickly pulled it out and handed it to Danny before he shut the door. "Here. We need more members. I may not be able to make you be _that guy_, but you'll have a great time."

Danny smiled at Nick and gave another thanks before he ran into an apartment building. Nick drove off and headed home in a hurry, wanting to play that CD more than anything. He would just play it in the car but once more it didn't seem right.

-:-

Five hours later and Nick still hadn't listened to it. He wasn't sure what was stopping him. He'd managed to finish his homework, do chores and even have spend dinner with his family (though his plate went untouched thanks to the butterflies in his stomach). But now there was nothing left to do but listen to the CD. All he had to do was put it in his laptop and hit play; why was that so difficult to do? Obviously Nick was afraid, mostly because his expectations went from something amazing to something horrible. He thought it to be a love song, Jeff expressing how he felt about Nick. But another part of him wondered if it was a song about how much Jeff hated him, or how much Jeff was depressed and wanted to off himself.

There was only one way to find out. Nick took the CD out of it's case, smiling slightly at the title of it. He stuck it in his laptop and waited for iTunes to pop up, which it did. The first thing that caught Nick's attention was that there was only one song. The second thing was that it was by a band he'd never heard of, which made him casually pissed in a humorous kind of way. Nick was one of those types that didn't really care for music, which was ironic since he loved to sing. Jeff was the opposite. He knew nearly everything and anything about many types of genres and loved to taunt Nick with his lack of knowledge. It used to get on Nick's nerves until he finally realized that he'd never be one who was music-smart.

He took a deep breath and hit play, letting the music wash over him completely as he shut his eyes and concentrated on listening. He could hear the words but they weren't sinking in, almost as if he were trying to reject them. He replayed the song over and over, intent on finding the meaning of what Jeff was trying to say. He googled the lyrics and read them until his eyes hurt from staring at this computer screen so long, taking in each stanza as he put the puzzle that was Jeff together.

And there it was, clear as day.

It wasn't Jeff proclaiming his love to Nick. It wasn't a suicide note. It wasn't an apology. It was, understandably, Jeff himself. Where he was in life, how he felt, what he wanted and what he needed. It was everything Nick had been wanting to hear for months. Jeff was finally opening up to Nick. All of Nick's dramatics and silent treatments had paid off.

Nick pushed himself away for his desk and ran out of his room and down the steps, his mother yelling after him to settle down. He didn't hear her, though; he was already out the front door and cutting through the slippery grass. He ran down the sidewalk, the night life just barely waking up. He dashed across the street and continued to run two more blocks until he spotted Jeff's house. He thanked the stars for making Jeff live so close by.

He rang the doorbell and panted as he waited as patiently as he could for it to open. When it did he smiled gratefully, Jeff's older sister raising an eyebrow at him as he brushed past her and crossed the entrance way to the stairs.

He found Jeff in his room, laying on his bed with his eyes shut and music blaring through his headphones. Nick slowly and quietly made his way to him, laying beside him. Jeff's eyes eased open and he glanced at the body beside him. He smiled bashfully.

Nick took a deep breath, holding in his excitement and nerves. This was it.

* * *

><p>The song is Beach by Boy &amp; Bear. And man was it perfect. Too perfect.<p>

**Next Time: **Finally, Blaine, Parentals.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay...cheers.


	4. Chapter 4

_You are mine, I am yours_  
><em>lets not fuck around<em>

It was rather dark when Nick woke up. He was slightly cold and aware of the sound of typing. He glanced over his shoulder to see Jeff sitting up beside him, his headphones in his ears as he typed non-stop on his laptop. Nick rubbed his eyes, causing him to get Jeff's attention.

"Hey," Jeff said softly.

Nick yawned. "When did I fall asleep? What time is it?"

Jeff pulled out his headphones and glanced at the clock on the screen. "I think we both fell asleep a few minutes or so after you showed up. I woke up around midnight and remembered that I had a butt-load of essays to do. It's nearly three now."

"Shit," Nick muttered as he sat up. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were sleeping."

"Yeah, in your bed. I'm surprised my parents don't have a search team out looking for me."

Jeff shrugged. "They trust you."

"Apparently."

"Did you at least sleep decent?" Jeff asked, a slight laugh escaping.

"Yeah. But I've always liked your bed better than mine."

Jeff smirked. "That's because I have Pokémon sheets and you don't."

"You know it."

Jeff went back to his laptop and held up a headphone for Nick. Nick did so and was greeted by the sound of the same song Jeff had put on the CD.

"I listen to it non-stop," Jeff explained. "I can't get it out of my head and listening to it just makes the world seem different—more tolerable."

"It's a good song," Nick offered.

"I stumbled upon it. Over the summer, when you weren't talking to me, I had nothing really to do so I just listened to album after album and when I found this song I was left breathless. Does that ever happen to you?" Jeff turned his head and stared at Nick, blinking lightly.

Nick shrugged. "I guess. I mean, I remember in middle school every song would seem written for my life. Especially when it came to my love life."

Jeff let out a laugh. "You mean the one that didn't exist? You were so emo."

"Well, I was young."

"I suppose so."

"Anyway, you found a perfect song. Now what?"

"I don't know," Jeff stated. "Where do I go on from this point?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Nick asked rhetorically. "You shared this song with me for a reason. It's because you want to be heard. And that's why I'm here—to listen."

"I'm not sure I'm ready."

"Don't be stupid."

Jeff shut his laptop, leaving the two left in darkness until he turned on the lamp on the nightstand. They stared up at the ceiling, the only sound being their breaths and a few noncommittal noises from the house.

"I guess I'll start by saying I'm sorry," Jeff began. "A lot of things have happened this year and it's caused me to shut myself away from the world, especially six months ago. It was my way of coping and it killed me that you wanted to be there for me. I didn't want that for you. It wouldn't have been fair for me to let you in on the constant darkness that seemed to be surrounding me. But by pushing you away it only made you want to get closer, and in reality that's why I did it. I liked how much more you noticed me when I was depressed. I liked how I was finally something to you other than your friend."

_"For I see the love in you, it feeds me,"_ Nick sang, a verse from the song.

Jeff's eyes widened at this, almost in a frightful way. "After I told you what happened with Drew, I thought things would get better for me—for us. But I was starting to feel guilty. Here I was, completely distraught by that night, and it wouldn't go away. It was with me no matter how much I tried to push it aside. I put up this pretense of happiness so I could bear to be in the same room with you, but the more I did that the worse things got.

"And then you stopped talking to me. These past few weeks without you have made my life even worse than it had been. I regretted everything I'd done to you recently. The way I've ignored your advice for me to open up and for me to talk about my problems. The way I was being so mean to you. The way that I pretended that you and I being something more wasn't even an option. And when you nominated yourself for council? I was so upset. I had no idea that you wanted to be part of the Higher Power and had I been a decent friend I probably would have known that. I've missed you, Nick. And I'm sorry. So sorry."

Nick nodded and grabbed Jeff's hand, giving it a hard squeeze. "I'm sorry, too. You're not the only one in the wrong. It was selfish of me to cut myself out of your life while you were going through everything."

"But that's the thing," Jeff pulled away from the headboard and sat on the bed so he was facing Nick, "you had every right to be mad at me. I was a right ass to you and what would've been the point of our friendship if you let me push you around and treat you like dirt? You running away from me showed me that there was something about you that I'd never seen before."

"What?"

"That you're worth fighting for."

Nick smiled and shook his head once. "And do you think you aren't?"

"I don't want you to fight for me, Nick. You've been doing it for far too long and it's my turn now."

"I just don't think I can let you do that," Nick admitted.

"It's my life and I need to do something about all this pain I've caused, and not just for you but for myself."

Nick sat up straighter and tried to gather all the courage he could. "Tell me about that night...with Drew."

Jeff's eyes hardened and he began to protest but something changed within him. He closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose, a slight shake in his hands. Nick grasped them and brought them into his lap. Jeff opened his eyes and nodded. "I guess if I've done it once before I can do it again...I met Drew through mutual friends. He and I texted and skyped, but mostly just to see if there was anything there. And there was. We flirted, we talked about how much we liked each other; we were ready for something a little less virtual. He was sweet and kind and every time I thought about him I got butterflies in my stomach. He told me about this huge party a bunch of his college friends were throwing and invited me. He came here and picked me up and we went and I was nervous. But he wasn't.

"He had this confidence that was so attractive. I was being self-conscious and every time I'd start to doubt something about me in my head he'd talk about it in this positive light and it made everything so worth it. And then at the party, when he was with all his friends, I was sure he'd treat me like the dweeb that I was. But I was wrong. He kept me close and talked about how cute I was and how I was his boyfriend, even though I wasn't. There were a few people who were making snide comments about the whole gay thing but he didn't let that throttle him. Instead he told them to fuck off and it was just amazing."

Jeff turned quiet for a beat and he stared at his and Nick's hands. There was the tiniest of smiles there but it soon vanished before Nick could figure out that that's what it was.

"We weren't drunk. A little tipsy, yeah, but Drew wouldn't let me get totally wasted and he chose not too drink his normal amount because he wanted to make sure I behaved myself." Jeff looked slightly irritated at this. "We were making out in the laundry room. I don't even remember why we went in there but there we were. And as they say, one thing led to another and we ended up in this bedroom. I think it was a parents' bedroom but that didn't stop us. We were on the bed and I felt as if he couldn't touch enough of me and I did want more, but there was this part in the back of my head that told me something was wrong."

"You don't have to finish," Nick quickly said, his stomach in knots.

"...it was going too fast," Jeff continued, ignoring Nick. "He kept grabbing me and it hurt and I could hear people downstairs talking about us, about how I was another one of Drew's "boys" and how he got more play than anyone they ever knew. Then I realized that that was what I was; a hook-up. But I didn't agree to that. I thought this was somewhat of a date but it wasn't. I didn't want to be that guy that fucked each guy he got a little close to. I tried to tell Drew to stop but he didn't, of course not. I knew that he wouldn't and I did all that I could to get away from him but he was loads bigger. At some point I stopped trying and I just laid there for him like some pathetic dying thing and let him have his way. And when he was done he left the room and I didn't see him again when I finally managed to pull myself together and leave.

"When I got home the first thing I wanted to do was call you but I couldn't even get enough strength to do that. Instead I crawled into bed and tried to forget it. But that was stupid thinking on my part."

"I still wish you would have called me," Nick managed to say.

Jeff smiled. "Me too." His brown eyes roamed to the alarm clock beside the bedside lamp. "We have school in like, three hours."

"Another day, another dollar," muttered Nick mindlessly.

"Except that we don't get paid to go to school," Jeff pointed out, obviously attempting to help Nick diffuse the tension that didn't belong.

"Life would be so much better if it did."

"I'd never have to work at Lee's again."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "But you love it there. Doesn't the scent of guitars turn you on?"

Jeff scowled. "Shut your face." Nick only managed to laugh as he got off Jeff's bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked then.

"Home. I need to get ready for school."

"But we have time."

"We have all the time in the world," Nick stated.

"Do we?" It was obvious Jeff was trying to hold in some form of malice. Nick couldn't blame him. Jeff was feeling very forgotten lately, which Nick would probably remain guilty for for the next while.

Nick made his way to Jeff's side of the bed and sat at his feet. He took Jeff's hand into both of his and looked directly at Jeff.

"Things are going to change for us. We're both going to become better and stronger people and we're going to grow up. No more immature tantrums, no more hiding ourselves away, no more acting like tomorrow is going to be worse than today. I'm ready for a new life. What do you say?"

Jeff's smile was lop-sided. "I'm in."

"Good."

"But only if we're together."

Nick blinked. "Together? As in—"

"—together. You, me, life. Boyfriends. A couple. Those two people who share something much more bolder than most. What do you say?"

Nick searched for the proper words to reply, but throughout his sudden surprised-happiness all he could manage was, "I'm in."

-:-

This had been one of the best days of school that Nick had ever had. At least, it started off that way. But by the end of it it couldn't have gotten worse.

Nick wasn't quite sure how the entire school found out about Jeff and him. Nick had yet to tell anyone and if Jeff was to tell anyone it would have been Blaine. Regardless, all the boys who attended Dalton Academy (as well as some of the teachers) were making it known that they were aware that both Nick and Jeff had finally become a couple. The two got teased relentlessly by their friends and Mrs. Wilkinson, the English teacher and advisor of the school's GSA, fawned over them whenever she caught sight of them.

For that day the two were celebrities, and boy, was it nice. But by mid-day things turned quickly for the worst.

It had happened after Warbler practice when everyone was heading off to their next classes. Nick, Jeff, Thad and Trent were taking their time to sixth period. They were considering slacking off (they were all in far too great of moods to go to their boring classes) when they spotted two familiar persons near the main office of the school.

"What's Blaine doing here? I thought he called in sick," said Jeff.

"There's only one way to fine out," replied Trent, stomping off to Blaine and his father. The bell rang but the other three ignored it and followed their friend.

"Hey, Blaine!" greeted Trent, smiling wildly. He looked up at Blaine's dad and offered a hand. "Hello, Mr. Anderson."

"Trent," said the older man, giving the hand a modest shake. "Boys."

The other three waved at Blaine's dad before turning to their fellow Warbler.

"Where've you been?" Nick asked. "Sick?"

"Uh, no, actually," Blaine stated, hesitantly and slightly upset.

"We haven't heard from or seen you since yesterday morning," Thad noted.

Blaine scratched the back of his head, which he often did when under-pressure. "I was going to tell you guys but things happen at paces that you don't always plan."

"What's going on?" Jeff asked, worriedly. Though the others were feeling this, too.

Blaine glanced at his father who had been starring at the group with an intensity often seen in his son. He took Blaine's subtle raised eyebrows as a hint and turned his back on them and chatted to the receptionist. Blaine stuck his hands in his pockets and stared at his shoes.

"I'm transferring," he said in a small voice.

"You're what?" Thad almost yelled.

"Transferring?" Trent gasped. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm transferring to McKinley," Blaine stated in a more sure voice.

"You're not doing this for Kurt, are you? I mean, if you are it's whatever but it seems like an odd way to go about things," Jeff said, on the fence about whether he wanted to be upset or supportive.

"I know it seems like that's the case but it's not."

"It definitely looks like it," Nick clarified.

Blaine nodded. "It's not. I mean, yes, he's part of the reason but there's so much more to this that none of you will understand."

Jeff shrugged modestly. "Try us."

"I came to Dalton for sanctuary, so I could be safe and happy and know that I could be in a place where I'd be accepted. I got that, and I'm thankful. I got friendships I've never, ever had before and there's nothing in the world that could replace how I've felt here. But after meeting Kurt and watching him here compared to McKinley, well, it showed me things I've been missing out on. School isn't supposed to be about a place where daddy will always be there to make things better. There are things out there that we'll never experience if we stay cooped up in a safe haven. I want that life where every moment is something worth remembering and I'm not going to find that here."

"You can't just drop us," Nick said. "We're a family and yeah, it is safe here, but isn't that the point? What about the bullies, Blaine?"

"It's time for me to face my fears. You guys will always have a place in my heart and I really want to remain friends. But if you're not going to be supportive of my life decisions then maybe I've been wrong to assume that we were, well, _brothers_."

Trent shook his head. "Of course we support you, Blaine. You're our best friend. But for you to just leave like you're doing...what about us?"

"No one's led the Warblers like you have," Thad supplied. "Before you the Warblers were just a dorky group but now we've reached that point where everyone knows are names. You've turned this school around and made it shine. People care about the things they do now, thanks to you."

"And I'm glad. But you all will be perfectly fine without me. Think of all the stars that will finally get to shine." Blaine smiled sadly. "I'm transferring to McKinley and it's final. I'm ready to be apart of things I've hidden from."

As if taking this as some sort of cue, Blaine's father walked over to him and started to lead him to the exit. Blaine waved at his friends and left the building, leaving the four gaping at each other as they tried to take in what just happened completely.

"I can't believe—" Nick started.

"—I know," Trent finished.

"How could he do this to the Warblers?" Thad asked, mostly to himself.

"Forget the Warblers," hissed Nick. _"He left us."_

"I'm more hurt that he didn't at least talk to us before he decided any of this," Jeff declared. "But if he wants to go back to public school that's his choice, don't you think?"

"I think that if you four don't get to class you will be spending your time moping about detention instead," spoke the receptionist. The four scattered immediately, all heading off to whatever directions they needed to go. Jeff and Trent went down the east hall as Thad took the stairs two at a time. Nick made his way behind him, more slowly though. He wasn't in any hurry to get to History.

Word spread about Blaine almost as quickly as Nick and Jeff's relationship status, knocking them from everyone's current thoughts. The Warblers were devastated, obviously, but the school joined in on the devastation. Trent was telling the truth about Blaine changing the school for the better. But what was done was and Blaine was no longer a Warbler. It was a hit the Warblers weren't sure they could take, but they had no choice but to move on.

-:-

Nick sat at the dinner table and poked at his chicken, not really in the mood to eat. His mother sat at one end of the table drinking a glass of wine and breaking the rules by reading her emails on her phone as his father sat on the other side, trying to get Nick's youngest brother to eat his peas. His other brother sat beside him and was talking about how his friend broke his arm skateboarding and how he could see the bone. Had anyone been paying attention to him their appetites would be non-existent. Unaware that he was going unnoticed, he continued to go into more and more detail about it.

Nick was stuck thinking about Blaine. When Kurt had transferred back it hadn't been that big of a deal, mostly because everyone knew he didn't belong in an atmosphere that stifled his individuality. The Warblers had encouraged him to go back to McKinley. But with Blaine it was a different story. He'd been at Dalton since the middle of Freshman year when he'd come with a set of matching black eyes and a busted lip. The Warbler councils then (Christian, Brett and Seth) had cornered Blaine that same day to join the glee club and he did so a few days later, causing the Warblers to win their first Sectionals competition in years. It had been a tremendous gain for not only the Warblers but Nick as well.

Nick had a small group of friends during sophomore year, mostly seniors who were loners like him. He'd been partnered with Blaine during Biology one day and the two hit it off, mostly because Blaine was one of those people who always felt comfortable in front of strangers. But even past that day the two talked until they reached a point of a friendship. Blaine even managed to get Nick to try out for the Warblers. After a few days of practice Nick was positive that the Warblers were the greatest thing ever. He convinced Jeff to join and soon the three of them had become in one of those life-altering friendships.

Thanks to Blaine, Nick had found something that made him happy. Things wouldn't be the same without him now. But what Nick was really worried about was how his friendship with Blaine would be. He knew for a fact that distance changed everything. Things could still be the same, obviously, but there would be that missing piece. It was missing with him and Kurt. Sure they talked and hung out, but those were all rare and at times awkward. How could he have that with Blaine?

"Nick!"

Nick snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, his mother's eyes glaring at him and his brother snickering beside him.

"Yeah?"

"I've been talking to you and you've been ignoring me," she said.

"Sorry."

She sighed. "Well, I was asking you if I should be worried."

"About what...?"

"Your eating habits."

"What?"

His father butted in then. "You've been skipping dinner a lot lately. And you're always out the door before breakfast. You're not, I don't know, anorexic or anything?"

Nick loved his parents. But they would never, ever be able to pick up on his problems correctly.

"No," he sighed, "I'm not. I just haven't been feeling up to eating. That's all."

"Should I make an appointment with the therapist?" his mother asked, skimming through her phone.

Nick curled his fingers into his palms, trying to keep himself calm. "No. I'm fine."

"Oh, I bet you're more than fine," his brother, Robby, said, still snickering.

"What's that supposed to mean?" his father asked, obviously interested.

"Have you seen Nick's relationship status on Facebook lately?"

Nick suddenly remembered the most important thing ever.

He hadn't come out to his parents yet.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>This story will be going on a little hiatus. Thanks for everyone who's been reading. Feel free to drop some love.

**Next Time: **Nick's a gay man now, Jeff hates Sebastian and Niff-goodness for all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **And I have returned. Though, I do wish that I had been able to write more than I did but I got caught up in life. You know the story. But I have been able to determine how many chapters there will be—sixteen, total. Maybe more, maybe less. It really depends on if I get thrown into another direction, but things have been rather consistent since I started so I doubt I'll get off track.

Thanks for sticking around and reading. Reviews are really appreciated so you should really drop one off before you go. Thanks!

* * *

><p><em>Cause you are, the only one<em>  
><em>Cause you are, the only one<em>

Nick thought over every little thing he could do to stop his brother from ruining his life, but other thoughts got in the way. The most important being: he didn't change his relationship status on Facebook. Had Jeff sent him a request, it was still pending. But then another little thought creeped in: Kurt knew his password, and from a few constant, ignored texts Nick had gotten earlier from him, Kurt's probably already confirmed it for him.

But he couldn't think of a single excuse. All throughout these last few months he'd managed to keep it a secret, planning to eventually tell them that he was, in fact, a friend of Dorothy's. He supposed that now was the time—mostly because he had no choice.

"Nick, we have rules about dating," his mother said before anything.

"I'm not dating," Nick replied. It was true. He and Jeff weren't dating. They were officially in a relationship.

"Is she pretty?" his father asked, winking at Nick.

Robby's laugh was obnoxiously loud. Nick wanted to punch him.

"What's so funny?" his father, Larry, asked, laughing along anyway.

"Well, I wouldn't use _pretty_," Robby simply stated, coolly eating his peas and smiling at their youngest brother, Patrick. Patrick simply went back to playing with his car on the table.

Their dad frowned slightly before giving Nick an encouraging smile. "Well, there's more to a woman than her looks. I'm sure your gal-pal is very...generous looking."

"That is horrible, Larry," Holly, their mother, said, though she was smirking.

"I'm just being honest!" Larry laughed.

"'Generous looking' fits, if you're into that sort of thing," Robby said matter-of-factly.

"Shut up!" Nick shouted. Everyone looked at him, the boys stifling a laugh while his mother narrowed her eyes at him.

"Is there something you'd like to say?" she began, her tone very hostile. "Please, do share."

Nick felt a sort of fight-or-flight situation brewing. He only managed to turn his attention to his un-eaten dinner.

"Don't be too hard on him, Mother," Robby said in faux-classy voice. "It can't be easy to have his certain life-style."

His father took this as a sign that things were much more serious than Robby had made it seem. "Nick, what is it?"

"Robby's right. I am in a relationship, but you're wrong about the girl part." That was way easier than Nick thought it would be.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

His mother had his full attention at this point, her red lips pursed as she stared at him with uncertainty.

"Just tell them," Robby said through a mouth full of potatoes. "It's not all that dramatic. Unless that's what you want?" Yes, Nick would be killing his brother tonight.

"This suspense is unnecessary. Either say it or don't," his mother ordered.

Nick opened his mouth and instead of hearing his voice he heard Robby's, "You're son is a gay man now."

"That's all?" she asked, an eyebrow raised upon her suddenly bored looking face. Robby nodded and she turned her attention back to her phone. Nick glanced at his dad who seemed to be thinking over something as he tried to get Patrick to eat more of his peas.

"How do you guys feel about this?" Nick found himself asking.

"You and your brother act like it's the biggest thing in the world. If gay is what you are then that's fine. If you told me you were Asian, even though you're not, I would still be accepting of that."

Nick gave his mother an odd look before turned to his father. "Dad?"

"I'm fine with it." He didn't look it.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and turned his attention back to his plate, though there was a crease between his eyebrows that bothered Nick completely.

"Dad, if you're not then just tell me," Nick said to him.

His father sighed and looked up at his son. "I love you and if you're gay then that's fine. Really."

"Then why do you look like you've just made a deal with a terrorist?"

"It's just, well, I'm wondering who you're being gay with. Is it that Kurt boy? Or the one who has the hair...?" His father made an attempt to flatten his hair in a manor that represented Blaine.

Nick laughed and shook his head. "Kurt and Blaine are with each other, actually."

"Good for them," his father said honestly. "But then who are you with? Not Trent, I hope. I mean, he's a great kid and all but he's a little dim. He nearly sold Patrick once. Remember?"

"It's Jeff," Nick announced, trying to keep in his laughs.

"Jeff? Really?" his mother asked, sounding for once in her life interested.

"Really."

She straightened up in her seat. "When did this happen?"

"This morning. But it's been a work in progress for a while now."

"Does Erica know?" Erica was Jeff's mother and Nick's mother's best friend.

Nick shrugged. "She will soon, I guess."

"Good thing I like Jeff," his father said as he finally got Patrick to eat his peas, "otherwise I'd probably disapprove of any guy you'd date."

"Me too," Nick chuckled.

-:-

Much later Nick found himself in his room. He sat at his desktop and trolled Facebook, liking posts and leaving the occasional comment. As it turns out, Kurt had hacked his account and accepted Jeff's relationship request. He smiled widely at the red heart and wondered where he'd be in life without Kurt. Certainly not with Jeff, that was a given. He scrolled to the beginning after commenting on a post Kurt's step-brother made and put in his own status.

_Nicholas Duval_ - is, as _Robert Duval _puts it, a gay man now.

It immediately got a like from his father, which made the smile on his face grow even larger.

-:-

Thursday came and went, barely a day worth remembering. The Warblers mourned their loss but Thad acted as if it were a good thing; a complete opposite opinion compared to how he thought of the situation yesterday.

"This just means more opportunities to shine," he stated. "Auditions are tomorrow and we'll have even more chances to be just as great as we've been. There's no point in acting like we've been given the short end of the stick."

Whether they liked it or not, he was right.

On Friday after school they filed into the auditorium, a strange atmosphere to that of the Warbler's choir room. Thad thought it to be a good change compared to the rest that seemed to keep happening daily. The Warblers all agreed that they did not enjoy this and felt that it would cause more stress and pressure on the performers who'd be auditioning today (not too mention stress on the ones already part of the a cappella choir who'd want to try-out for a solo).

Thad, Nick and Trent stood on the stage, each with clipboards in their hands. Nick handed Jeff five other clipboards so the rest of the Warblers could take down notes about those auditioning. They smiled each other and wandered back to where they needed to be. The sound of a door opening caught their attention and everyone glanced behind them to see thirteen Dalton clad bodies descend down the aisle towards the Warblers.

"Hello, everyone," Thad called out to them. "If you could please take a seat here in the front." The students did as the said, eye-balling the Warblers that sat in the middle of the auditorium.

Once everyone was sat, Trent spoke up, "We have six spots open and we're not entirely looking for the best but we're most definitely not looking for the worst. What we look for in a fellow Warbler is someone who has confidence and is willing to be part of a team that's more codependent on each other. It's a brother-ship. Our voices must blend and weave together and we're on a search for our missing parts, which we hope we'll find in some of you today."

Nick and Thad looked at each other, noses scrunched up and eyebrows raised. Nick remembered to take his cue then.

He cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Each person will have at least two minutes to show their talent. As you can see, we all have a clipboard in ours hands with your names on it. We'll mark our votes and decide who has made the final cut, which will be announced Monday morning on a sheet of paper outside the Warbler practice room."

The three council members shuffled off the stage and sat in the first row of seats, which were reserved for them while the rest sat in the second row behind them. Thad clicked his pen and glanced at his clipboard.

"Neil Yelle," he called out. Thus started the beginning of try-outs, which turned out to be more than what any of them had bargained for. A few of them were moderately good while most were simply awful. It was hard to sit and watch, unable to cut or intervene during an audition.

Nick was slightly relieved when the flip-flop wearing freshman Danny was called out, even though he had no idea if he could sing or not. He hoped so, for both Danny's sake and the Warblers'.

"Alright, Daniel," sounded Trent, "give us what you got." He then leaned over to Nick and whispered, "I swear to God if he sings 'Someone Like You' like everyone else here seems to have I will literally stick my head into a light-fixture and melt my brain until it turns into pudding."

Nick stifled a snort and gave Danny a double thumbs up as he hummed a few bars of 'For The First Time' by the Script. He was killing it so completely that he would have received a standing ovation had Thad allowed the Warblers to show more than a humble amount of applause when it came to the performances. Nick was rather positive that Danny would be making the cut, which made him feel rather proud of himself—he had, after all, recruited Danny only a few days ago.

Following suit of Danny were four more who did just as good, if not better (though to Trent's dismay they did sing a variety of Adele songs, who seemed to be the only artist the auditioners seemed to listen to). Thad, Trent and Nick returned to the stage, ready to dismiss everyone.

"Thank you to everyone who showed up today—" Nick was cut off when Sebastian Smythe entered the spacious room, causing all eyes to turn on him with a sudden annoyance. He didn't say anything as he slithered down to the stage, a guitar in his left hand.

"Auditions are over," Nick said hastily.

Thad hit him in the arm with his clipboard and got close enough to Nick so he could whisper. "Most of these guys are awful. Our chance may lie in him."

Nick had to admit this was true, but he really wished that the Warblers new star could be anyone but Sebastian. He nodded obligingly and narrowed his eyes at the late-comer, who was making his way up the stage.

"We'll allow it," said Thad loudly.

"Instruments are not allowed. These are a cappella try-outs only," Trent stated, eyeing the guitar. "Only members may be accompanied by music."

Sebastian put the strap over his head and with a wink said, "I think I'll take a chance."

As if in a trance, the council went down the steps and took their seats. Sebastian made his way down-stage as Jeff left his spot to sit next Nick.

"I have some classes with this prick. I really hope he bombs it."

"Don't be mean," Nick replied, smiling hugely. Jeff grinned back and stared up at the new kid, waiting with anticipation. Nick only looked away from Jeff once he heard a few chords ring out.

_"Tonight it's on/Play my song, it' s a celebration."_

"Holy shit," Jeff gasped. "He is literally singing an Xtina song. What has he done? He's ruining it! And there's a reason why there are no acoustic versions of this song online. This shouldn't be happening."

Nick shrugged. "I kind of like it."

"Of course _you_would. You listen to 'Friday' a bazillion times every Friday."

_"This is a private party/VIP in this bitch."_

"Is Thad really going to let him get away with that? He could have at least changed the lyrics!" It was obvious that Jeff was having a nuclear meltdown over this. His face fell into his hands and he swayed next to Nick, pressing himself against his shoulder as if he were watching a scary movie and needed comfort.

"Don't be so dramatic. It's actually rather good. So original. I mean, he's lacking stamina but besides that I think I would buy his version of the song."

"This isn't how 'Prima Donna' is supposed to go."

"Shush," Nick laughed.

Jeff did so, grimacing and cringing into Nick until Sebastian finished.

Everyone clapped, a little louder and faster than any of the other performers had received. Thad stood where he was and turned so he was facing the small crowd. "That's all. Thank you for coming and look for your name come Monday."

They all rushed to leave, ready to go home and start their weekends. The Warblers walked over to Nick and handed him their clipboards which held their opinions that would be taken into account as the council figured out who would soon join the singing group. They exited through the door next to the right side of the stage. Sebastian came over to him and Nick couldn't help but smile.

"I thought you said you couldn't sing," Nick teased.

"What you call singing I call a vocal orgasm," Sebastian retorted.

"Is it all about sex with you?"

"Usually."

Jeff walked over to the two, a sort of unsure look on his face. "What about sex?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, Aaron Carter," Sebastian said after once glance. He returned his attention to Nick. "Well, this was fun. Goodbye." He walked after that, leaving Nick and Jeff alone in the auditorium.

Jeff frowned. "Do I really look like Aaron Carter?"

Nick chuckled. "A little, yeah."

"He's cute, right?"

"I suppose when he was younger. Now he sort of looks like Shaggy."

"Which version do I look like?"

"'Aaron's Party' version, definitely," Nick said in a comforting tone. "Now, please cancel your B-Ball game with Shaq and help me with these."

Jeff stepped forward and gathered a few of the clipboards in his hands. The two of them left and headed to the Warbler practice room where Trent and Thad chatted about try-outs as they waited for Nick.

"So there was a high number of low-quality singers, but I think those who did manage to be a little bit good will do," Nick stated thoughtlessly as he and Jeff set the clipboards on the desk.

"We'll discuss this after Jeff goes away," Trent replied, smiling sheepishly at the blonde.

Jeff stuck his tongue out at him and turned to Nick. "I'll see you later?"

"Perhaps. Maybe I've made prior engagements."

"Yes, I keep forgetting. You have a boyfriend now."

Nick nodded. "I do. Tragic for us."

"So you're not interested in a secret affair?"

"Tempting, but I'm not sure I have what you want."

"And what's that?" Jeff was trying so hard not to laugh.

"Candy."

And just like that Jeff's will-power was broken and he was bending in half with laughter. Nick managed to keep himself together as he joined in.

"I'm so clever," he managed to say as he watched Jeff try to gather himself.

"I have no clue what's happening," Trent said to Thad. Thad wasn't paying attention; he was busy with his phone—texting, it seemed.

"I need to leave before I die," Jeff said while taking a deep breath. He waved goodbye to Trent and a preoccupied Thad as he made his way from the room. A few moments later Trent was up to his feet, arms crossed as he stared accusingly at Nick.

"What?" he asked harshly.

"Jeff didn't say goodbye to you."

"What?" he repeated.

"Jeff left without hugging you or kissing you or saying 'bye'. He's your boyfriend, isn't he?"

"Last time I checked he was." Nick was honestly clueless.

Trent rolled his eyes. "As your boyfriend he should have done something."

Thad finally pulled away from his phone and glanced up at the two. "Let's get to this. I have a life outside these walls."

Trent walked away from Nick, shaking his head as he joined Thad at the desk. Nick was still unsure what had happened between him and Trent. It bothered him that he felt so out of the loop of what apparently was "boyfriend-code". He had the right to be, though. Jeff was his first boyfriend and he hadn't really ever been in a relationship before. He had no idea how these things worked and in reality he didn't really care to know.

But perhaps he needed to. Maybe there was "boyfriend-code" for a reason—and apparently Jeff wasn't following it. However relationships were supposed to work and follow rules, Nick put them behind him and went to do his duties as part of the Higher Power, and regrettably he knew he'd have to vouch for Sebastian, who blew that song out of the water no matter what Nick's nearly-professional-musical-mind opinion had to say about it.

-:-

It was 5pm on a Friday night and Nick and Jeff found themselves in Jeff's bedroom where the two were aimlessly sitting on the bed, Jeff attached to his laptop as usual and Nick flipped through a Playboy that Jeff had stashed under his mattress for his straight friends that had yet to find out he was gay. It was a rather good cloaking device and Nick thought about investing one until he remembered that he had two younger brothers who were rather curious folk.

"Is it weird that I'm neither turned on nor off by breasts?" Nick asked.

Jeff shrugged. "Have you _ever_been turned on by anything?"

"I think. I mean, I'm not asexual. I _do_get boners."

"As much as I'd love to hear about your boners, I think this conversation has turned a new corner that I wasn't heading for."

"I agree. But I am currently being hypnotized by this woman's aereola and I fear there is no turning back for me." Nick raised the Playboy high above him and stared eye-wide at the model before he threw it on Jeff's keyboard and got off the bed and stood robot-like. "Yes, Master. I shall burn the Sterling home down. And I shall frame it all on Jeff. Thank you, Master. Thou are very wise."

"I get it, I get it," Jeff said sullenly. He shut his laptop and Nick blinked rapidly and threw himself at Jeff.

"I'm free! Oh, Jeff! You've saved me from the naked woman's will! How will I ever repay you?"

Jeff pushed Nick away and got out of his bed. "Be less annoying and we'll call it even."

Nick considered this. "Deal."

"What do you want to do?" Jeff asked.

"I'm not sure. What is there to do?"

"We can call Blaine?"

Nick gave Jeff a slight glare and shrugged his shoulders, keeping himself occupied by stuffing the Playboy back beneath the mattress.

"What was that about?"

"What?" Nick asked, acting as if he had no idea what Jeff was talking about.

"That look you gave me when I mentioned Blaine." Jeff's eyes widened and his sudden realization. "You're still mad at him, aren't you?"

"I'm not pleased with him, if that's what you're getting it at."

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Jeff seemed to try to look less mad than he probably was.

Nick crossed his arms and glared at Jeff. "I'm sorry if I'm still pissed at my best friend for leaving for a stupid reason."

"What's so stupid about wanting to be happy?"

Nick knew he'd struck a chord with Jeff after that. Jeff was struggling with his own happiness and to have Nick spit at the idea of doing what you could to maintain said happiness was something that Jeff wanted least.

"I'm sorry," Nick said. He walked over to Jeff and grabbed his wrists. "I'm just still confused. I thought Blaine liked Dalton. Remember his first day? He had two black eyes and swollen lip and had to use a crutch. And someone made a rumor that he defeated a group of terrorist trying to make a bomb out of a microwave?"

Jeff laughed and pulled his arms away from Nick's hands and wrapped them around Nick's waist. "Remember how disappointed everyone was when it turned out that he'd just gotten beaten up?"

Nick tried to ignore the sudden warmth flooding through his body and concentrated on Jeff's words, but all he could see was his lips and Nick felt suddenly nervous.

"Yeah," he managed to say in a breathy laugh.

"Nick?" Jeff asked in a shaky tone, his eyes now on Nick's lips.

"Yeah," Nick echoed himself.

Jeff never did ask his question—and Nick wondered later on if he'd answered it unknowingly. Instead he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against Nick's, a soft pressure of warmth that sent butterflies into Nick's stomach. He remembered to kiss back, his hands grabbing the upper part of Jeff's arms. Though, Nick felt his heart pang when Jeff removed his lips.

"That wasn't your first kiss, was it?" he asked.

"Does Claire Hawthorne from fifth grade count? I was straight then."

"I'm your first _gay _kiss?" Jeff smiled at this.

"Would you like me to put that on a plaque for you?" Nick joked.

Jeff thought it over and smiled widely. "I want my tombstone to read: 'Jeffrey Thomas Sterling' and then year of birth and death, but below that it'll say 'Nicholas Duval's first gay kiss'."

"And I'm honored," finished Nick as he leaned forward and kissed Jeff once more.

By six the two were downstairs in the dining room where Jeff's father, mother and older sister sat, keeping themselves occupied with cellphones, books and anything that meant that they wouldn't have to look at or talk to each other. Nick and Jeff were the only ones talking.

"But you'll forgive him?" Jeff asked, bringing up the Blaine situation again.

Nick frowned. "I don't know. It's easier for you to forgive him because you're closer to him than I am, but that doesn't make him not my best friend. And if it's going to be anything like when Kurt transferred we'll probably hardly ever see him. And once we reach that point then we won't talk as much and before we know it he'll just become this person we once knew."

"Don't you think you're being a little melodramatic?"

Nick shook his head. "It's hard to explain. Can we just forget about it?"

Jeff sighed but nodded.

"You two have only been together for almost three days and you're already fighting?" Jeff's sister, Riley, questioned. "Can you spell "doomed"?"

"We're not fighting," Jeff hissed at her. "We're simply discussing our feelings."

"And here I was wondering if this relationship could get any gayer," she replied.

"Don't use that word," their father said from behind a book about anatomy.

Riley rolled her eyes at him, even though he couldn't see. "What word?"

"You know what word."

"Gay?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Why not?"

"Riley, don't," Jeff warned her. She looked at him and seemed to have nodded, returning back to her cellphone.

Nick glanced over at Jeff and silently asked him what that was all about, but Jeff acted as if his food was the most interesting thing in the world. Nick followed suit, finishing up what was on his plate and taking it to the kitchen sink. Jeff was behind him soon after, an upset look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Nick whispered. Jeff shook his head at him and pulled him by the elbow out of the kitchen and to the front door. They both left the house and walked down the pathway to the side-walk.

"Are you walking me home?" Nick asked, feeling that warm-sensation again as Jeff held his hand.

"I sure am. Is that all right with you?"

"Most definitely." Maybe Jeff was familiar with "boyfriend-code" after all.

The sun was just barely setting, something that Nick found wondrous about summer time.

Halfway to his house, he stopped Jeff. "What was all that about your dad and the no-gay-talk thing?"

Jeff shrugged and began to walk again. Nick pulled his hand out of Jeff's so he wouldn't be pulled against his will.

"Seriously, talk to me," Nick demanded. "Remember? We're going to be honest with each other now. Not keep secrets."

"Nick, please, not tonight." _Not ever _is what Nick heard in that sentence. "Today's been so great and I just don't want to spoil it. It's bad enough we banter when Blaine comes up."

"I just hate that you're keeping things from me."

"I know. But I still reserve the right to keep some things to myself, as do you."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, but whatever happened back there at dinner, well, I was involved."

"Another time, I promise," Jeff said. He grabbed Nick's hand and started leading the way to Nick's house.

It was then that Nick wondered if Jeff was going to change at all. _They say time heals all wounds,_ he thought to himself. _But they don't say how long till it's completely right again._

* * *

><p><strong>Next Time: <strong>The theme is trouble: Trouble in Gay Paradise, Trouble in Parental Talk, Trouble in Nick's Universe.


	6. Chapter 6

_I see them snakes come through the ground_  
><em>They choke me to the bone<em>

Sunday after church, Nick found himself, along with his family, in the parking-lot where his parents had gotten caught up in a conversation with other parents. Nick's littlest brother was restless and wanted to go home, and Robby had managed to fine a lighter in a gutter and was busy being oohed and awed by that. Nick however found himself staring at his boyfriend a few yards away with his own family. Nick kept smiling in Jeff's direction, hoping that he'd look. But he didn't.

From what Nick could see, Jeff was talking intensely with his father. Riley was the one to catch Nick's eye and she skipped off toward him, her long blonde hair put up in a messy bun rather than let down, as she usually had it. Riley had always been more of the tom-boy type of girl, and seeing her in her Sunday's best was oddly...well, odd.

"Hey, future brother-in-law," she greeted him, punching him softly in his shoulder.

"What are you guys doing here?" Nick asked her rudely. He only said this because Jeff's family weren't very religious and he had never seen any of Sterlings at church.

"My dad had a sudden inkling that we needed to be with our Lord, so here we are," she said with an eye roll.

"Riley, if I ask you something, will you be honest with me?"

She put her hands on her hips. "You're not going to ask me if my brother's a bottom or not, are you?"

Nick's jaw dropped. Riley was the female-equivalent to Jeff, humor and all. "No! That's...Jesus, we're in church! Could you have a little respect?"

She snorted. "I like to think of myself as agnostic, so I'll do as I please. And we're not in church, we're outside, clearly. And what is it that you want to know?"

"Do you think that the reason why you're dad felt a sudden need to come today is because of me and Jeff?"

"I suspect so."

"Riley?"

"Yeah?"

"Do your parents accept Jeff?"

She frowned. "For knowing Jeff your entire life, you don't really know him at all, do you?"

"I thought I did," he breathed.

"No, they don't accept him. They never have. I think my mom might, but she acts like my dad is the only one worth listening to. But they've always put it behind him because Jeff doesn't act gay or talk gay or has anything to do with gay when he's around them. But now that you and he are together, there's no avoiding it anymore."

"What about his other boyfriends?"

Riley shrugged. "Never talked about them, never brought them over. They could've been imaginary for all I know."

"Riley!"

Both of them looked back as her father called for her. There was no sight of Jeff. Riley bid her goodbyes to Nick and ran towards their car. Nick put his hands in his pockets and joined his parents, feeling for the first time that maybe there was a reason why he and Jeff hadn't gotten together sooner.

"...he's doing well. Holly and I worried at first that he'd spend most his time breaking rules and getting into trouble—basically not studying. But so far, so good. He's top of his class and even has a girlfriend."

Nick realized he walked into a conversation about his older brother Josh. His father balanced Patrick on one hip as he chatted with a man who was vaguely familiar while his mother wandered off to Robby, who'd finally been spotted with the lighter.

"Really?" asked the man, curious. "American?"

Larry, Nick's father, shook his head. "British. The plus of Oxford."

The man laughed and nodded before turning to Nick. "What about you? Any pretty girls?"

Nick glanced at his father who was staring back at him with cautious, pleading eyes. Nick looked back at the man and shook his head with a sad smile.

"Well, plenty of time ahead of you." The man said his goodbyes and left Nick and his family to return to his own.

"Who was that?" Nick asked.

"Your mother's old boss from her last firm. You probably don't remember him."

"He seems familiar," he said as his mother and younger brother walked up to them.

"We better get out of here before Robby burns the church down," his mother stated, pushing Robby towards the car.

"I wouldn't do that," said Robby, smiling at the thought.

"Well the church may forgive you for that sin," Nick began, grabbing Patrick from his father so he could buckle him into his car-seat. "I, on the other hand, am condemned to Hell unless I change my ways."

"Nick, hush," his mother warned.

"It's true, Mom," cut in Robby. "That's what all those bigots say, at least. Homophobes."

Their father climbed into the car. "Alright, everyone relax. How about some lunch?" The rest followed his lead and got in.

"I could have told him," Nick said to his father after a minute or two on the road.

"Yes, you could've," Larry replied. "But I stopped you."

"Is it because we were near a bunch of Christians or was it because you're not proud of me?"

"The first one, you know that. I love you and accept you, but they don't and we were on their turf. I wasn't going to place you into a situation that could lead into something that we don't want."

Nick took a deep breath. "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Jeff's parents don't approve of his sexuality, huh?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Thanks." He needed the second opinion.

She turned in her seat and looked at Nick. "But we're not Jeffrey's parents. We want you to be the person you are, where as they have expectations of him. We only hope that you choose to do the right things and continue to grow and have a future worth living."

He nodded and smiled at her. She did not return it, but he could see a slight tenderness in her eyes before she sat right.

Nick wasn't sure where all this insecurity had come from. He supposed Jeff's father scared him, and seeing how easily Jeff, Riley and their mother cowered from his scorn made him feel that his parents could easily feel the same way. It was silly how one week he could be perfectly happy with who he was—even if he was hiding himself partially away—and how the next he could be so unsure of himself and how the world around him perceived him. And it was also silly how he could go from a person who was content with what everyone thought about anything, negative or not, and suddenly have a hatred to those who made other gays so afraid to be who they were.

Nick couldn't be certain, but he realized that since his coming out months ago, he's started to see the hatred in the world more clearly. He was also hating it back just as much, which made him feel even more angry at the things that caused grief and fear in everyday life.

-:-

Nick walked into choir practice that Monday afternoon with an ache in his stomach; the sight of seeing six new Warblers made him miss the ones before them even more. Jeff smiled widely at him as he made his way to the desk. Nick smiled back and waved while sitting beside Trent.

The three waited for the bell to ring before they began.

"We welcome our newest members; Daniel, Jeremy, Aiden, Eric, Mason and Sebastian," Trent said happily, starting off a set of claps that everyone joined in on. Once they stopped he began again. "With fourteen Warblers, we can officially begin our preparations for Sectionals." Another set of applause.

Thad began to talk. "We'll start with a theme, find songs that represent said theme, and we'll begin rearranging the song for a cappella, which some of you are new to. Finding a song and making it work for us is hard, long work, but worth it in the end. After we figure out some of those details, we'll hold auditions for solos."

"When's Sectionals?" asked Danny.

"December," Nick stated.

"We have an awfully long time to prepare, don't you think?" Sebastian spoke coolly.

Thad sat up straighter. "The longer we prepare the better we can be."

Sebastian matched his demeanor. "Won't we be wasting time?"

Nick intervened. "Well, as Thad said, a lot of you aren't familiar with how a cappella works. We'll need to train you and situate your vocals. That in itself will take a couple of months, but all the while we can still figure out what it is that we want to do at Sectionals."

"I just have a feeling I could be doing other things," Sebastian stated.

Jeff narrowed his eyes at him. "If you don't want to be here then you should leave."

The slick brunette smirked. "Maybe I'm here for a different reason." Nick saw Sebastian flash his eyes towards him and then back at Jeff.

"The only reason you should be here is to sing," Thad scolded. "If your intentions are anything but, then we'll have to ask you to leave."

"I was just joking," Sebastian said then, smiling falsely. "It was a test."

"What kind of test is that?" Trent asked.

"To see how serious you all were about winning. I don't take part with losers."

"You don't have to worry about that," said Thad. "Now, if we could be serious and discuss a theme, that'd be just dandy."

-:-

"What a douche," Jeff said as he, Nick, Trent, and Danny made their way to the Lima Bean after school.

"A cute douche," Trent replied.

"No douche is cute," Danny stated with a cringe. He was, after all, the only straight person there.

"And did you see the way he looked at you?" Jeff was referring to Nick. "What was_ that _all about?"

Danny scooped the foam off his drink and ate it. "Isn't it obvious? He has a thing for Nick and wants to get under your skin. I have a cousin who acts the same. Though she's four."

"Is he even gay?" Trent wondered.

Nick shrugged. "I think he might be. But he also seems like the type to be bi, too."

"Either way, I don't like him," Jeff declared.

"He's funny," Nick found himself saying.

All of them narrowed their eyes at him.

"I mean, either people are mean because they're in a bad mood or hate the world or because that's just who they are. He's obviously mean because he likes to be. Why let it bother you? That's what he wants."

"You've had an awful lot of time to think about this," said Jeff.

"I've known him since Monday."

"But that doesn't mean you _know _him," Danny said simply.

Nick was reminded of what Riley had said to him the day before. _For knowing Jeff your entire life, you don't really know him at all, do you? _What was it about Nick that made him accept people so easily, no matter who they were or what they did? Was it because he wanted to see the best in people at all times or because he had faith they could change? But if this was the second time he was doing it, he wondered how many others out there had gotten through his wall because they simply smiled at him.

"I heard some stuff," Trent chimed in. "His dad's a state attorney, his mother is a fashion designer and he's lived in almost every part of the world. Really rich, like, richer than anyone at Dalton. Which is saying a lot because we have heirs here."

Jeff nodded enthusiastically. "Well there you go. His parents are probably super busy and never see him so he has you know, daddy issues or something. He was probably raised by a nanny. Unloved and has probably been screwed over by loads of people. So he's a dick because he can't let anyone in."

"Now who knows an awful lot," Nick muttered.

-:-

Three weeks later Nick sat with his parents in the family room. He sat in the arm chair while they sat on the leather couch, both of them looking serious yet content. This was a familiar scene for Nick, for the three of them alone in the room meant that something serious was about to go down, whether it was a report about a death or a speech that would later result in punishment. The Talk happened here, along with the news about Patrick being conceived and about how therapy would be good for everyone.

This time Nick wasn't too sure as to what would be said.

"How's school?" his father asked.

Nick shrugged. "Good. Less homework than the last three years, but I suspect that's because there's not much left to learn."

"You and Jeff?"

"We're fine. We have a date this weekend."

His father smiled. "That's great."

Nick smiled in return.

"What about college? Have you thought about applying anywhere?"

He shrugged again.

"Harvard? Yale? Brown? Columbus?" his mother yammered. "Maybe Oxford like your brother?"

"I was thinking about Ohio State," Nick admitted. He knew he was going to regret it the second it came out, but he wanted to be honest with his parents.

"You could do much better, Nicholas. If you want to go somewhere more simpler why not Dartmouth?"

"What about Julliard?" his father threw out.

Nick frowned. "I'm not really up to going to a school where I have to work so hard. I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations."

"But you manage at Dalton. You've always been smart."

"I just want more leisure time. I want to experience college for the...experience? I don't want to go to a school that will define who I am."

"College is much more than that. You need to think about your future fully," she said.

"I'm not really thinking about the future—"

"Clearly," his father snorted.

"—and I'd like to live in the present," Nick continued, glaring slightly at the two. "I still don't know who I am and I'd like to find out, but I can't if I'm going to be forced to work hard on a career that I don't really want."

"If you're worried about living up to Josh—" his mother began.

Nick cut her off. "No, that's not even it in the slightest. I don't know if you noticed but each of your sons are very different from each other. Josh is a white-collar, politician type; Robby is probably without a doubt going to end up having a Lifetime movie about him; Patrick pees in the plants when no one's around, and me...I'm a gay teen who literally has no idea what he wants in life. And that's what I want to do; I want to find out what it is I'm meant to do and who I'm meant to be. But if I make myself unhappy while trying to figure it out, I probably never will."

"We just don't want to see you suffering," his father stated.

Nick smiled. "I think I'll manage."

His mother stood up and nodded at him, walking out of the room. His father did the same, patting Nick on the shoulder as he passed.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Updates will be random and all over the place. But I will finish this story, regardless of everything.

**Next Time: **Passive-Aggressive-Three Musketeers (Warblers?), _Trent_, Niff angst/fluff.


	7. Chapter 7

_They tie me to their wooden chair_  
><em>Here are all my songs<em>

Nick sat with his back pressed against the bricked wall, his legs stretched out in front of him. He frowned at the paleness of his legs and rolled his eyes at Trent, who was only a few feet in front of him, struggling to do a single push-up.

"I can't," Trent panted. "I'm a cow. Cows aren't meant for this. I want to go home and eat and watch the Bad Girls Club. Is that too hard to ask? I was born gay, not athletic. I don't need exercise. I'll find someone who loves me for who I am. You know what? I think I'll just kill Coach Greene. Surely prison won't be too bad. I mean, it's not rape if you're willing, right? Oh, God. Who am I right now? Come on, Trent. It's just a measly push-up. You can do it. You're no sissy. Come on. Come on. Ohp! My face has made contact with the floor. It's going to bruise. That counts as a push-up, though. Does it? It's going to."

Nick shook his head at him and laughed. "What would the world be like without you?"

Trent rolled over on his back and put his hands behind his head. "It wouldn't."

"Vague."

"No. Vogue."

"I'll pass."

"Your loss."

Suddenly Sebastian was standing over Trent, his arms crossed as he grinned down at him. "I've been to a lot of schools. All over the country. But never, ever have I ever shared teachers with so many gays."

Trent shrugged. "As a great, fictional gay once said, 'I can't turn it off; it's who I am'."

"It _is_ pretty shocking how many gay dudes are at Dalton. I mean, Kurt and Blaine are probably the only out gays at McKinley," said Nick.

"Who?" asked Sebastian in a bored fashion.

Trent sat up. "They used to be Warblers. Then they went back to public school and life has never been the same."

"Who needs them."

Nick got off the ground and brushed his hands on his shorts. "Solo auditions are in a few weeks. Are you going to try-out?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Haven't really thought about it. Why? Are you?"

Nick nodded. "I've auditioned lots of times before, but I think this year I may have a chance."

"Because that Blaine guy is gone?"

Trent stood up, not wanting to be left out of the conversation. "Blaine's been our lead Warbler since he was a freshman. He got us a lot of wins."

"And now that he's gone the Warblers need to find that star quality," Sebastian guessed. His head snapped to Nick and he looked him up and down. "Are you sure you have that?"

Nick frowned. "I don't know. Maybe."

Sebastian smiled. "What are you two doing this weekend?"

Trent and Nick glanced at each other, sharing questioning expressions. They both shrugged at Sebastian.

"I'm heading to Cincinnati for a show and I have no one to go with, since I'm new to Ohio and whatnot. And I thought you two would appreciate...the art."

"What kind of show?" Nick asked, curiously yet hesitantly.

"A drag show. A genuine one with actual stars that go on tours. The ones here are so cheap and I love a good Drag Queen like I love good man."

Trent frowned. "But Drag Queens are men."

Sebastian didn't blink. "You're bright."

"I don't know if it's such a good idea. Plus we're underage." Nick was wracking his brain for excuses, but the problem was that he actually did want to go. He'd always been interested in that part of the gay-world.

"I have pull there. I can get you anything; backstage access, drinks, private performances, drugs, the stage. Your hearts' desire. What do you say?"

"Yeah, I'll go," Nick replied, nodding to himself.

"Me too. I mean, how often do we see Drag Queens?" Trent looked at Nick, excitement growing more and more on his face.

"Exactly!"

"Great," said Sebastian, turning on a heel and walking back to place where he'd been since the class began. "We'll talk details later."

"And everyone says he's a dick," Trent scoffed.

Nick snorted. "He is a dick. But he's probably lonely. Like he said, he's new here. He has no friends."

"Poor guy."

"He's fine. But don't let him get too close, Trent," Nick warned. "He may look cute and cuddly but he bites."

"Me gusta."

Coach Greene blew his whistle and ordered for everyone to do twenty crunches. Trent let out a cry and cursed God before he collapsed to the ground to begin his self-deprecating/motivational ritual.

-:-

That same day during lunch, Trent opened his mouth and talked excitedly about Sebastian's invitation. Unfortunately for Nick, Jeff happened to be there. He didn't look too pleased to hear about this. However, he kept quiet and left his attention to his lunch, which must have been the most interesting thing in the world to him; he didn't let his eyes look away from it for one second.

The bell rang and the group headed off to Warbler practice. Nick walked beside Jeff, keeping the corner of his eye on him to see what he'd do or say. Nick could easily tell that his boyfriend was pissed off at him by his body-language. Jeff had his ear-buds in, clearly saying "don't talk to me"; his hands were shoved into his pockets, making it so Nick couldn't hold his hand; he looked dead-on as to not make eye-contact with anyone—mostly the body next to him.

Suddenly furious, Nick grabbed Jeff's elbow with both hands and pulled him into an empty classroom. Jeff glared at him and took out a single ear-bud. Nick shut the door and crossed his arms.

"Talk."

Jeff sat on top of a desk and took a deep breath. "What the fuck?"

"He invited me. I said yes."

"But why? He's horrible!"

Nick leaned against the teacher's desk, nearly knocking over a few picture frames.

"Your hatred is biased. I feel he deserves a chance," explained Nick.

"A chance for what? He'll screw you over the second he can."

"Then that'll be on me."

Jeff looked as if he were about to protest but he said nothing. Nick, more calm than moments before, walked over to him and put his hands on his knees.

"I don't see Sebastian that way, if that's what you're worried about." Jeff looked away sheepishly. Nick was right. "How could I let you go after all this time? I have what I want and nobody will ever replace that."

Jeff smiled at Nick and pushed him away so he could stand up. He kissed Nick immediately, a mixture of rough and softness.

"What have I done to get a guy as amazing as you?"

Nick shrugged and kissed him back, allowing his tongue to feel Jeff's lower lip. He'd never forget the taste.

The door opened and the two split apart quickly, their faces glowing red. Danny stood in the doorway, his hands over his eyes.

"I'm not a homophobe, but this is all new to me," he explained.

"Me too, Danny," Nick said comfortingly, grabbing Jeff's hand and leading him past the freshman and towards the practice room.

All the Warblers looked up as the three of them walked in. Nick went to his assigned seat, avoiding Trent's shit-eating grin.

"Well, now that we have the attention of the love birds, let's talk turkey—no pun intended," said Thad. "Sectionals is in almost two months. So far we've gotten everyone into the a capella vibe. We've also managed to scrape up a theme, yet no set-list. I say we fix that."

"It's obvious we have to go with the classics," said James. "I mean, the songs may not be on anyone's play-lists, but they'll still be familiar with it from a subconscious level."

Nick nodded. "Yeah. If they have parents, they'll know the songs. It's simple as that."

"Anyone have any ideas of what songs we could do?" Thad asked.

Jeff snorted. "Probably not right now."

"I do," said Sebastian, bouncing a leg on one knee. "We've known that we would be doing songs from the '50's and '60's, so I've actually done some homework." He smiled at Jeff and Jeff looked away with both embarrassment and anger.

"Let's hear it, then," Trent said enthusiastically.

Sebastian stood where he sat, as to get all eyes on him. "We don't want to go with the obvious song choice, or the right one. And from what you all tell me about that Nude Erections—"

Nick snorted. "_New Directions._"

Sebastian grinned at him and bowed his head; a thank you. "This New Directions often do mash-ups, some better than others...some just dreadful, though I'm rather aware that they suck in general, no offense to your brethren who left you for them."

"So you want to do a mash-up?" Danny asked.

Sebastian thought it over momentarily. "Not entirely. More of a medley. But nonetheless, if we have a song that's more two songs than one, we have more of a chance to woo the judges. Give them diversity."

"I like it," Thad stated. "What songs?"

"'Unchained Melody' and 'I Put a Spell On You'."

The sound of everyone pulling out their iPhones could be heard. Danny, though, sat phone-less and leaned over to see Jeff's.

"Got it," said a Warbler.

Everyone looked up and listened to the song choices, considering them and looking to each other for confirmation.

"It could work," Thad said as he wrote it down. "But what about a solo. Any ideas for that?" He was referring to Sebastian.

"As of right now, no. But I don't think we should choose a song without knowing who exactly it will go to."

"I like that idea," agreed Trent.

"And you, Nick?" Thad asked.

Nick nodded.

"Then it's settled. We'll work on the medley first and then hold auditions for a solo." Thad banged his gavel and the Warblers got to work.

Some Warblers gathered around their phones, listening to the songs to figure out harmonies. Others came together and discussed costumes and choreography. Thad and Trent reminded them that the Warblers didn't wear costumes and that the choreography would have to be approved by all three of the council members.

Nick sat at the desk, not really wanting to throw out an opinion. He would be fine with whatever they came up with. Sebastian sat on the table in front of him, barely missing the official minutes' notebook. Nick smiled at him.

"You're quiet," Sebastian stated.

Nick shrugged. "I have nothing to say."

"You should."

"What do you mean?"

"You think yourself as small, whereas you're probably much bigger than anyone would ever give you credit for. You hide behind what makes others happy and you allow yourself to settle for second. Why don't you take a chance and gain some control?"

Nick wasn't quite sure where Sebastian was getting at. He thought about asking him but he didn't even know where to begin. Sebastian smiled at him and walked away, ignoring Jeff's glare as he sat on the couch and pulled out his cellphone.

Meanwhile Nick nibbled on the skin around his thumb as he thought over what Sebastian had said. Was he speaking in general or making an assumption about something else? Did he think that Nick was settling for Jeff? Was Sebastian trying to sabotage the relationship or was he just speaking his mind? It was all too confusing for Nick and it bothered him deeply that he couldn't figure out what it meant.

Jeff walked over to him, his eyebrows raised. "You okay?"

"I think so," Nick replied.

"What did he say to you?"

"Something about me being small and not taking chances. I'dunno."

"Weird."

"I know."

Jeff smiled softly at Nick. The bell rang and the Warblers gathered their things and headed out of the room. Jeff waited for Nick outside, extending his hand; Nick took it and the two made their way to their classes, having to separate once they reached the end of the second floor.

Before they parted, Jeff said, "I don't know what he thinks, but no one takes chances like you. And without that, we wouldn't be together and I'd probably be a lot worse than I am. I'm grateful that I not only have you as a boyfriend but as someone who simply cares about me and has the courage to not let life get you down."

Nick kissed him briefly on the lips—the only way he knew how to say thank you at that point in time—and watched as Jeff turned and entered his classroom before he went into his own.

-:-

"...are you serious right now?"

Nick was woken up by the sound of Trent's voice. He pushed his head up from the pillow and glanced up. Trent was nowhere to be seen but the door was wide open.

"Completely," said Trent's step-dad.

"Yes, I've packed condoms. Now excuse me, I need to slit my wrists."

Trent walked in, shutting the door behind him. "Jesus Christ," he breathed. "I don't know who he thinks is getting laid around here because it's not me."

"At least they believe you're fuckable."

Trent's nose scrunched up. "I don't know whether to be offended or creeped out."

Nick yawned and let his face fall back into his pillow.

"Nuh-uh. We've got to head out."

"We have time. Weekends equals sleeping in, you cunt-face." Nick's voice was muffled by his pillow, therefore Trent had no idea what he said and proceeded to get ready to go.

He blasted one of his and Nick's favorite song, singing even louder than it was playing, all the while getting dressed and finishing packing. Nick laid in what he figured was agony, but in reality it was just annoyance mixed with tiredness.

After a few minutes Trent got down on his belly and began to serenade Nick, who finally got up and entered Trent's bathroom, dragging his backpack behind him. He used the toilet and brushed his teeth, glaring at his reflection in the mirror the entire time; his hair was obnoxiously messy and he had no energy to fix it. He usually had cool bed-head.

Nick's phone rang from his bag and he reached down and grabbed it from the zipped pocket it was in. He smiled to himself at Jeff's picture (he was wearing a Warbler tie around his head and nothing else besides swim trunks).

"Hi," Nick said into the receiver as he took a seat on the rim of the bathtub.

"Hey, honey-bunny," greeted Jeff.

Nick smiled. "Gross."

"You don't love the lovely-doveyness?"

"Not one tiny bit."

"Boo."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"So are you excited?" Jeff asked.

"I guess."

"You don't seem it."

"I forget how...exuberant...Trent can be."

Jeff laughed. "Same here. I feel bad for you: Trent. Sebastian. A bunch of drunks. Draggy Drag Queens. You know, you can cancel."

Nick sighed. "I'm very fifty-fifty about his whole situation. I want to go but I don't want to. I'dunno. I'm just super bi-polar right now. I'm going to go, probably feel like I made the wrong choice but then I'm going to end up having fun and I'll be happy I didn't skip out on it. You know me. I hate the thought of doing most things but I usually enjoy it. Blah. Blah. I whine. Blah. I become optimistic. Blah. Look, Facebook has a million status updates from me about how much fun I'm having. That's me."

"Maybe it's Trent and Sebastian I should feel bad for."

"Perhaps," Nick agreed.

"What time are you guys leaving?"

"I'dunno." Nick pulled the cellphone away from him and yelled out to Trent. "What time are we leaving?"

"I'm waiting for Sebastian to text me back!" Trent shouted.

Nick sighed and brought his cell back to his ear. "No clue."

"Then I guess I'll let you go so you can get ready to go have the time of your life."

"Thanks for the optimism."

"Optimism? That was sarcasm."

"Oh, wow, thanks. What would I do without you?"

"Spontaneously combust?

Nick snorted. "Screw you."

"Always! Tee-tee-why-el!"

Ignoring Jeff's obvious stunts at trying to make Nick laugh and roll his eyes at the same time, Nick sighed sadly. "Call me?"

"Of course. Bye."

"Bye." Nick sighed longingly as he hung up.

Nick changed his clothes and put things back in his bag, all the while raising his eyebrows at the closed door. Trent was squealing on the other side. Nick stepped out, only to see him in the midst of putting on a pair of pants and sweater, all the while trying to text.

"What are you doing?" Nick asked, taking a seat on Trent's bed.

"Sebastian's picking us up, like, now. He's outside waiting and my pants don't fit and this sweater is stupid and help." He was looking at Nick with desperation, and with a cringe Nick got up and dispatched towards Trent, tugging at his sweater as Trent wrapped up a text and pulled at his jeans.

Two minutes later, Trent was dressed and was pulling at Nick's elbow as the two descended down the stairs, all the while Trent's step-dad was saying, "Please be safe, guys. No drinking, please. And if you need anything at all call me. Alright? Nick, promise you'll take care of Trent?"

Just as Nick was about say yes, Trent butted in. "Why take care of me? I'll probably need to take care of him! You never trust me!"

"That's not what I mean, Trent. Of course I trust you, but—"

"Whatever, Zach. I'll see you in a few days."

With that the two were outside, their bags in hand as the descended down the driveway towards Sebastian's Chevrolet Equinox.

"Hello, boys," Sebastian said through the passenger's open window.

"Hey," said Nick.

"Shotgun!" called Trent, waving excitedly at the driver.

Sebastian quickly locked all the doors just as Trent was leaning forward to open the door.

"What?" Trent asked.

"Age before beauty, sweetheart."

"Uh...what?"

"He wants me to sit up front," Nick declared.

"Oh, okay."

Nick and Trent switched places, the sound of Sebastian unlocking the car. Within a minute, the three were off for a weekend in Cincinnati.

-:-

Two hours later they were checking into their hotel, via Sebastian. The car ride itself hadn't been too tedious. Nick and Trent bitched about music, which Sebastian fixed by playing what he wanted to play. They only stopped once to use the bathroom, fill up on gas and get some snacks. Now the three were up on the highest floor, relishing in their massive hotel room.

"Sorry for only the two beds," said Sebastian. "I had made reservations before asking either of you."

"It's fine," Nick said, setting his bag down on top of bed. "Trent and I could share."

"But you have a boyfriend," countered Trent. "I don't think Jeff would appreciate you sharing a bed with another guy. Sebastian and I can share."

"I don't share beds," Sebastian stated then. "And I really doubt that Jeff would care if Nick slept with _you_."

"Hey, Sebastian...don't," Nick warned, already regretting being here.

"It's fine, Nick," Trent started. "Jeff wouldn't care. He knows that we're just friends."

Nick wasn't quite sure why Trent was acting like this. He guessed that Trent's crush on Sebastian was overshadowing his self-respect, which was a shame.

Sebastian started to put his clothes away. "The pre-show goes on at about nine, but we could probably stop by early and check out everything. Get a good buzz going."

Nick followed his lead and headed to the dresser on the opposite side of the room. "It's just barely 1 p.m., though."

"No shit. I was thinking we could go out for lunch, buy some shit for tonight. All that jazz."

"I think I'll skip all that," Nick said.

"What, why?" Trent asked.

"I think I'll take a nap. I didn't sleep well, what with being on your floor...and your snoring." He put his last pair of socks in the dresser and closed the drawer.

Trent gasped. "I do not snore!"

"I'll just pass. Is that alright?" Nick was looking at Sebastian earnestly.

Sebastian simply shrugged. "It's a bit of an asshole move, seeing as how I'm paying for you to have a good time, but if you want to be a bitch and pussy out, then that's on you."

"That is pretty messed up, Nick," supplied Trent.

"I'm just tired! Besides, I'll be with you guys tonight. Can't I just, I'dunno, hibernate for a while? It's not like you'll be missing out on much."

"I don't give a shit what you do," stated Sebastian. _"I'm_ going out and I plan on having a really stellar time."

Trent gave Nick a questioning look, which obviously said, _'Who the fuck says stellar?'_

Instead of saying that, however, Trent said, "Count me in, Seb."

Sebastian glared at him. "Don't ever call me 'Seb'."

Nick laughed. "What else are we supposed to call you? Your name is ridiculously, well, ridiculous."

"Sebastian is a perfectly fine name," he replied.

It was Nick's turn to give Trent a look that said something like, _'Yeah, if you live under the sea.'_

"Besides, you two don't seem to have any nicknames, why should I?"

"Nick is a nickname," said Trent.

Nick nodded. "And Trent does have a nickname."

"I do?"

"Shamu."

"Fuck you!"

"I'm joking, but in all seriousness, Sebastian, you need a nickname."

"Bastian?" Trent suggested.

"Why don't you just shoot me in the face and get it over with," Sebastian replied.

"I only see Seb working," Nick said as he kicked off his shoes.

"Agreed," Trent said.

Sebastian took a deep breath and gave them both the bird. "Get your shit, T-bag. We're out of here."

Trent frowned at his new nickname.

"Laterz, Seb!" Nick said jokingly, gaining a glare from Sebastian and a snigger from Trent.

-:-

Sebastian and Trent returned a quarter to eight, their voices loud as they entered the room, hands full of shopping bags, essentially waking up Nick. He sat up willingly, feeling groggy from his nap. He rubbed at his eyes and stared at the two.

"Hello, Sleeping Beauty," greeted Sebastian as he tossed his bags onto his bed and began to poke and prod at the things he bought.

"Morning," Nick replied sarcastically.

Trent collapsed beside Nick, his expression dream-like, and said, "You missed out."

"Did you get a tan?" Nick exclaimed in horror, poking Trent's sudden darker-tone.

"The boy was whiter than my ass," explained Sebastian. "I was doing him a favor."

"A favor to whom? Some fake guy from Jersey?"

Trent sighed. "I wish."

"You both are insane. Help! I've fallen into a bizarre world and I can't get out!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You are the worst gay ever. I feel ashamed to even suck the same cock as you."

"I pray to God that we're not sucking the same cock."

"Me too. If I ever let myself down to Jeff's level I'd probably be on the brink of suicide."

"Harsh!" Trent scolded.

Nick clucked his tongue. "Nah, it's cool. Jeff would probably feel the same way."

"Let's all just agree to disagree," Sebastian said as he took off his polo and put on a purple V-neck. "It's Ladies' Night, boys, and as it's said, 'It's time for danger'."

Trent raised an eyebrow at Nick. "Did he just quote a 'Rent' song or am I just hopelessly gay?"

Nick shrugged. "Both."

"Just as long as we don't wail at the moon like a cat in heat."

* * *

><p><strong>Next Time:<strong> More Passive-Aggressive-Three Musketeers, men dressed as woman, and I still ship Nickbastian.


	8. Chapter 8

_So come on love, draw your swords_  
><em>Shoot me to the ground<em>

"On a scale of one to ten," began Trent, who was sipping a cherry Margarita while eyeing long-fully at the lit-up stage where a marvelous Drag Queen by the name of Rosie Rose was lip-syncing to Cher's 'Believe'. "How likely do you think it is that I can runaway with all the performers tonight and convince them to raise me as one of their own?"

Nick chugged his beer. He thought it was disgusting and preferred Trent's choice of beverage but wanted to seem manlier. "A twenty. But don't you even think about leaving me here to become something fabulous without me. I want in!"

"We can be a duo! I'll be Lucy Diamond and you can be Sunny Sunshine!"

"I want out if those are going to be our names."

"Fine, then. We'll hire someone to name us, but we'll still be awesome and incredible and super, super famous in the Drag Queen universe."

Sebastian walked up to them, pulling behind a very muscular blonde who looked like he was hating every minute of his entire existence. "Trent could totally pull off the Drag Queen look, but you better stick to your twink-ways, Nicholas."

"You're just saying that because I'm fat, aren't you?" Trent exclaimed, pouting at the taller boy.

"Not fat, curvy," Sebastian said to him.

Nick stole Sebastian's beer and took a swig off it. "You're not fat and you're not curvy. You're at a perfect weight for your age."

"Are you my pediatrician or something?"

"Trent, you've been talking shit about your weight more so than usual. I say avoid the mirrors, figure out what you're great at and learn to love yourself. I can handle only so much self-deprecation," Nick replied.

The blonde with Sebastian nodded. "It is a turn-off."

Rosie Rose finished up her song and everyone in the club clapped. The four at the bar cheered loudly, gaining a few odd stares from the other bodies around them.

"Want to go meet her?" Sebastian asked them, a genuine smile on his face.

Nick and Trent grinned at each other, then him.

Sebastian led the way, the four of them dodging the crowd as they came to a closed, red velvet curtain. A buff security guard stood outside, eyeing all four.

"Jay, my man," Sebastian said, extending a hand to the man. Nick caught sight of money being exchanged as they shook hands.

"Come on in," the man said, moving the curtain to the side to allow them in.

Sebastian side-stepped and let Nick and Trent go in first. He block the blonde from going in, though. "Sorry," he said. "Friends only."

"Fuck you, man," the blonde said as he turned and walked away.

Sebastian looked at Nick and shrugged. "Not really my type."

"What is your type?" Trent asked quietly.

"A little less vanity and more, pardon my French, balls."

Nick felt uncomfortable. It had been directed at him. He stepped closer to Trent and heard the enchanting sounds of femme males talking like catty woman.

"...please, darling, do something with your wig. It looks like my asshole before the bleaching."

"You're just jealous. You could never afford something of this quality."

Someone laughed. "That's not fair, Cindy Lou. Everyone knows that the freaks at the freak shows don't get paid very much."

The three boys broke through another curtain, leading them straight-dab in the dressing room.

"Guard your loins, ladies, we've got men amongst us," said Rosie Rose, who had taken off her wig. She was balding.

"Who do we have here?" asked a tall, dark-skinned Queen in a purple-sequenced gown.

"Sorry to interrupt," Sebastian began. "My friends and I just wanted to meet the glorious talents of this evening."

"Aren't you a charmer," a Dolly Parton look-a-like stated.

"I'm Sebastian and these are my friends, Nick and Trent."

Rosie Rose put her red, curly haired wig back on. "You boys seem a little young to be floating around in our sea of magnificence."

"Wasn't it Rabindranath Tagore who said'age considers; youth ventures'?" Sebastian asked, grabbing a feathery dress off a rack and putting it against Trent. "My, my, Trent, you may have a future ahead of you just yet."

Nick rolled his eyes at him and pulled his arm away. "Stop it."

"Why?" asked Rosie. "There's nothing wrong with having dreams about a life where you can be anything."

Trent smiled at her and she smiled back, beckoning for him to take a seat beside her. He did so, and the two indulged in a conversation. Sebastian hung the dress back up on the rack.

"You really need to lighten up," he said to Nick. "I know you have a sense of humor and I'd really appreciate it if you took that pole out of your ass."

"I was totally fine before but I'm not going to stand around and let you be a dick to Trent. He likes you, it's obvious, and if he thinks he has the slightest chance with you then he'll become a mindless pushover and will allow himself to be treated like a dog. He's my friend and I refuse to let him become that."

"And how does he feel about this?"

"He doesn't. He has no idea that he does this things, _that's_ why I'm looking out for him. And you really need to treat him with some respect. You don't like him, fine, I understand. Just _stop being an asshole."_

Sebastian smiled at Nick and shook his head. "Oh, Nick. We really are strangers, aren't we?"

_What's that supposed to mean? _Nick asked himself. He thought about saying it aloud but instead he walked out of the dressing room, intent on using his fake I.D. for another beer._ Actually, screw the beer,_ he thought. _I'm getting a damn fruity ass drink._

And he did.

And then he got another.

And then he ordered some shots.

And then some more.

At some point he had been reunited with the blonde from earlier and the two hit it off. His name, as it turns out, was Paul. Nick mentioned Jeff numerous times and Paul mentioned how much he hated Sebastian. The two went from talking about romance and boyfriends to how Sebastian could really use a good punch in the face. When they spotted the tall boy through the crowd, they decided that they needed to be far away from him. Together the two sneaked away from the bar, not stopping until they were outside.

"I love warm nights," Paul said as the two walked towards a McDonalds'.

"I find them to be nostalgic," Nick replied, walking on the curb. He was only on it for five seconds before he went stumbling into the gutter, laughing obnoxiously loud about his clumsiness.

"Nick! Where are you going?" Trent's voice called out.

"Me and Paul had a craving for some fries!" Nick yelled without looking back.

"Who is Paul?"

Nick pointed at the blonde who had taken to puking beside the building of the bar. Nick grimaced and walked towards him, patting his back comfortingly.

"Isn't that sexy?" Sebastian asked as he and Trent walked towards the drunklings.

"There goes like, a hundred bucks," Paul groaned as he wiped his mouth and sat in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Dude, get up," Nick said as he spotted a group of guys heading towards them.

Paul ignored him and stared unblinkingly at the ground in front of him, trying to hold his breath and stop the hiccups that had found him shortly after puking.

The group came closer, suddenly eyeing the four that had obviously just ventured out the gay club. They came to halt when they realized they wouldn't be able to get past.

"Move, fuckers," said one of them.

Trent went for Paul and started to pull him up. "Sorry."

Sebastian frowned. "Why don't you just walk around us? Better yet, why don't you go on the _other_side. You straight-boys have mistaken this for the Yellow Brick Road."

"Are you talking to us?" a guy in a baseball cap in the back asked.

"Are you serious right now? Do you see anyone else around here who _doesn't_take it up the ass? But wait. I don't know any of you all very well. We all have our kinks, right?"

"Sebastian. Shut. Up," Nick warned, suddenly getting more and more sober throughout this.

"I think it's a little too late for that," one of them said.

Nick recalled seeing someone lunge for Sebastian, but he stepped in between them and the next thing he knew he was in pain and on the ground, staring at a group of feet moving to and fro in the same spot. A body fell and another tripped over it. Curse words were audible and he felt someone touch his back.

"Nick?" Trent asked. "You okay?"

Nick mumbled a reply and his head started to pound. He shut his eyes and when he re-opened them, Trent was above him, his lip red from the blood dribbling from his nose.

"Holy shit," Nick moaned. His eye and mouth were sore, and he felt a need to grab at his head where it ached.

"He's awake!" Trent exclaimed.

Nick sat up. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really."

"Well, those guys were going to kick the living shit out of Sebastian but your drunk ass had to get involved. You got punched in the face, like three times before Sebastian pushed you to the ground. And man, if Chuck Norris was gay—which I'm not saying he isn't, but I digress—he'd be Sebastian. Seb kicked some serious ass. Of course I got punched in the process, and Paul got slaughtered, until he remembered that he had a black-belt. Punches everywhere, some kicks. It was insane. Anyway, we won. They lost. And I'm surprised we're all alive right now."

"Whoa."

"Thanks for being a dumbass," Sebastian said as he shook his right hand out from behind them. "Never, ever get in my way again."

"Don't worry, I won't," Nick said, pressing his palm against his eye.

Sebastian scoffed at this. "Pussy."

Sebastian himself had some battle wounds, mostly bruising on his upper left cheek and eyebrow.

"Where's Paul?" Nick asked.

Trent stood up, bringing Nick up with him. "Ran off into the club. Said something about how much play he was going to get for beating some bashers."

"Ugh. I feel like shit. I wouldn't even think twice about doing anything other than laying in bed and never moving."

"That's why we're going home. The cab will be here any minute now."

"And there it is," Trent said, walking towards the crosswalk as he waved toward it.

Nick glanced over at Sebastian, who was looking very glum back.

"Thank you," Nick mouthed to him as Trent called for the two. Sebastian only nodded.

-:-

Back in the hotel room, the three found themselves in misery. Trent's nose was hidden beneath ice wrapped in a towel in the bathroom. Sebastian was trying to act like his knuckles weren't bothering him but they were abnormally larger than normal. And not only did Nick's head feel like it was killing him slowly, he was getting a hangover.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to see a Drag Queen again in my life without remembering this night," he said to Sebastian.

"I still can't believe this is your first fight."

"I think you want me to apologize for me being nice but I won't."

"That's not what I want."

"What do you want, then? A key to the city."

Nick opened his eyes as he felt Sebastian sit beside him on the bed. Sebastian smirked at him and crossed his arms, wincing slightly at his hand.

"What?" Nick asked, feeling paranoid.

"I want a...kiss," Sebastian said.

Nick laughed. "Not gonna happen."

"I saved your life; it's the least you can do."

"Just kill me and we'll call it even."

"I know you, Nick. The guilt will overcome you. You'll feel a need to make it up to me, especially once people see you and start to ask questions. It's your obligation."

Nick hated how right Sebastian was.

"Anything else you'd like instead?"

Sebastian simply raised an eyebrow and Nick mentally hit himself in the head.

"I'll make a deal with you. You don't have to kiss me now, but you have to kiss me. Simple as that."

"Fine."

"How about a Bloody Mary? You look like you could use one."

-:-

Sebastian dropped Nick off in front of his house the next day. Nick gave him a wave, receiving a bandaged wave back. Had Nick been in a fight before, he would have known that the damages only got worse hours later. Last night he'd been sporting mild contusions, barely noticeable. This afternoon he cringed every time he blinked and he couldn't eat or drink without causing his lip to bleed. Trent looked worse than the three, with purple going from the bridge of his nose to beneath his eyes.

His head still hurt and he could feel a large bump if he ran his hand through his hair. Plus, the hangover was still hanging over him like a stormy cloud. He felt hungry but every time he thought about eating he gagged.

He went inside his house and walked straight towards the dining room where his family was having lunch, still in their Sunday Best. He wanted to get the whole situation over with, which would inevitably cause him being yelled at. But to his surprise, that's not what happened.

"Never again," said his mother as his father walked over to him to get a better look.

"You look really bad ass," Robby said, stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth.

"It's true," his dad agreed. "But you're grounded."

"For how long?" Nick asked.

His mother turned back to her food. "Depends. How did it happen?"

Nick was stumped here. He wanted dearly to tell his parents the truth, but in reality he wanted to keep this to himself. Despite getting his ass kicked, he had a fantastic time in Cincinnati, even with Sebastian. And had they known that he'd been to an overage club where he was not only being exposed to an adult world but drinking, he'd be grounded for life.

So, he did what any guilty teenager would do. He lied.

"Well, Sebastian was getting into it with this guy in a different hotel room and I stepped in before things could get worse. And, as you can see by my face, they did."

"Our son's a hero," Larry said proudly.

Nick smiled, which caused his lip to bleed.

"Blood," Patrick said, fascinated.

Nick's mother got up from the table and walked over to him, pressing a napkin against his mouth. She looked at him, her green eyes proud yet menacing.

"I suppose your actions don't deserve a negative consequence, but you still did something careless. For that you're only grounded for the next weekend."

"Okay."

"Now, go upstairs and take a shower. You smell horrible."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Short. *shrugs*

**Next Time: **Solos, Jeff *shakes head*, treachery, and Nick *shakes head*.


	9. Chapter 9

_You are mine, I am yours_  
><em>Let's not fuck around<em>

It was mid-October and Nick found himself pacing outside the choir room, butterflies in his stomach and a slight sweat to his palms. Today Nick would be auditioning for a solo, which he was pleased to think he had a better chance of getting now that Blaine was out of the picture. Though, he was still insecure, especially because he'd be fighting for it against one other person—Sebastian.

Sebastian had auditioned only yesterday and had managed to blow it out of the water. Much like the first time he performed, he did a song by a pop-diva, and also like before, he went for an acoustic vibe. But it was good, and it was obvious his voice would go with their theme. Nick still had hope that he could outshine Sebastian, but there was that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that was a given.

Any minute he'd be performing, and as he waiting for the double-doors of the choir room to open up to him, he continued to circle the area just outside, biting his bottom lip and trying to suppress the thoughts of rushing towards the bathroom to vomit.

Only one single door opened, causing Nick's heart to jump. But it was just Jeff, who was smiling forcefully at Nick as he shut the door behind him—he was nervous too.

"Is it time?" Nick asked.

Jeff nodded. "Are you ready?"

Nick shook his head. "Can I back out? I'm sure Sebastian will win us Sectionals."

"Don't you even think about it. This is _yours_."

All of Nick's insecurities burst through, if only because he had Jeff as a confidant or because he was just _that_nervous. "Ever since the day we got back from Cincinnati he's been on everyone's radar and, as much as I hate to admit this, he's the new Blaine. Everyone expects things from him and they're swept off their feet the second he does something mildly amazing. And me? I'm just a blimp. I'm there but no one gives a shit."

"That's not true. Everyone loves you, Nick. I hear it all the time.

Nick didn't hear him. "He's going to win this."

"Hey!" Jeff snapped, gaining Nick's attention. Jeff walked over to him and pulled Nick's hands into his. "You deserve this solo, Nick. Everyone knows this. And not only do you deserve it just because you're an amazing person but because you're an even more amazing performer."

"But I'm not the one they're rooting for."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Nothing, nevermind. Let me just get this over and done with."

It was obvious Jeff wanted to press his previous sentence, but Nick was smiling falsely at him and leaning in to kiss him. Jeff kissed him back and went inside, being followed by Nick.

Everyone turned their attention towards Nick, watching his every move until he made it to the center of the room. Nick gave a glance to Jeff (who gave him a thumbs up), Sebastian (who was smiling with either pride or sarcasm) and then finally to Trent and Thad. They gave him the okay and he started his audition.

Danny, James and Mason, who was a two time senior, surprisingly started out the beginning of the song.

_"Now I understand upon myself/never want again in the way I said it/I don't know what the plan is but you can share/with me,"_ Nick sang, turning his attention to Jeff, who looked surprised._ "Cause I'll be a listening ear/to everything you say I won't turn away/And I'll listen up and out my heart and I must say/That I love you so."_

Trent joined in with him on the next part, making everyone's eyes shift to him and then Nick again, and then back once more._ "Ooh la la I'm fallin' in love and it's better this time then ever before/Ooh la la I'm fallin' in love and it's better this time than I've ever known."_

_"Everyday is a battle I face/Strange like I live but it's what you decided/I give it all and the all ends, do what you will/With me."_

Jeff had been smiling at him the entire time, but as the song carried on, his grin grew smaller and he seemed to shrink in his seat. His eyes stayed on Nick, though, and Nick did his best not to break contact, even though in the corner of his eye he could Sebastian glaring at him.

_"And I'll, I smile when you speak/Remember all those times I hoped for something/And shakin' my head from all that I've done."_

It was five of them then, harmonizing and making beats. But all the while and throughout the song, Nick kept his attention to Jeff. Even as he moved around and danced, he made sure that Jeff knew that the words he was singing were true.

When they finished, all of them received claps from everyone, except Sebastian, who said, "I thought this was supposed to be a _solo_audition."

"That was a solo," Nick retorted. "I was being more traditional with our a cappela ways. And during Sectionals it'll be much the same except a lot more voices."

"Regardless, how are we supposed to vote when we could hardly hear your voice? It was being buried by the whines from your...supporters."

"He has a point," said Aiden, who was becoming more and more of a lacky to Sebastian.

"That's enough," Thad spoke. "Today during class either Trent or I will be by to collect your vote. During our final practice we'll announce the winner and we'll begin working on the solo for Sectionals. You're all excused."

Everyone left the room, mumbling to each other and giving their congrats and good lucks to both Nick and Sebastian. Sebastian shook Nick's hand as he left, giving him a wink and smile that said "no harm done". Nick gave one back, if only because Sebastian was his friend. As Jeff walked by, palm open, Nick grabbed it and the two headed off to their classes.

"So," Nick sing-songed.

"So," Jeff hummed back.

"How did I do?"

"I'm not sure."

Nick's heart dropped. "Oh."

"I still can't get over the fact that you sang me a song."

"Oh?"

"It was very..." Jeff sighed and looked up at the ceiling, searching for the right word.

"Romantic?" Nick suggested, knowing it was the right answer.

But apparently not to Jeff. "Surprising."

"Surprising?"

"Want to skip class?" Jeff suddenly asked.

Nick blinked and gaped. "Uh, yeah." _We have a lot to talk about, _he thought.

-:-

They found themselves at a park only five blocks away, accompanied by silence and the occasional jogger. Nick and Jeff left their bags on a bench beside a playground, along with their jackets despite the chill in the air. Jeff sat atop the monkey bars, staring down below at Nick who was swinging on them.

"Yesterday Blaine and I went out for breakfast. Well, it was almost lunch time, so brunch," Jeff said.

Nick kept his feet raised so they wouldn't scrape against the black-top. "Yeah?"

"McKinley's doing West Side Story and he's playing Tony."

"Of course he is," Nick muttered. "What about Kurt? Is he in it?"

Jeff nodded. "He auditioned for Tony, too. He's playing Officer Krupke, though."

"Cool, cool."

Nick reached the middle section of the bars for a fifth time. Just as he was thinking of moving on, he felt a hard grip on his hands and he looked up, watching as Jeff laughed at him and kept hold of his hands.

"Let go," Nick said, annoyed. He let his feet drop to the ground and he stood there, glaring up at Jeff.

"Nope," Jeff said.

"Seriously. My arms are sore."

"It sounds more like your pride is sore."

"That too."

Jeff let go and Nick started for the swings, not the least surprised when he heard Jeff jump of the monkey bars.

"Want a push?" Jeff asked as Nick took a seat on one of the swings.

He shrugged. "Sure."

From behind him, Jeff placed his hands on Nick's back and shoved.

"So...surprising?" Nick began.

"What?" Jeff asked.

"You said me singing to you was surprising. Why?"

"You know how I don't share my emotions? Neither do you. At least, you try not to and you usually fail. Singing a song to me was just a big deal, that's all."

Nick sighed. "It _was _a big deal, Jeff. And all you felt by it was surprise? Nothing else?"

"Of course I'm happy that you sang to me. But..."

"But?"

"Why did you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

Jeff grabbed the chains of Nick's swing and pulled him to a stop. Nick stood up and sat on the other side of the swing, so he could see Jeff more clearly.

"You sang a song for me, about us, in front of everyone; our friends; Sebastian. Why? You could have simply sang any old song about anything but you chose that song during that solo. You were stressing out about not getting the solo and you put yourself in a situation where you could have jeopardized it all by singing me a fucking song. Why?"

Nick looked down at the wood-chips below his feet. "You know why."

Jeff snorted. "I obviously don't."

"You're different."

"How so?"

"Ever since that weekend in September you've been acting so..._different. _I don't know how to describe it. Besides the fact that you hate Sebastian way more than you did, you've been treating me like I did something bad."

"That's bullshit!" Jeff exclaimed.

"It's not, though. I mean, yeah, you're still my boyfriend and you still kiss me and joke around with me but...but...I see it, Jeff. I see the way you look at me, like you're disappointed in me."

Jeff simply shrugged. "You're insane. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You do, but you're going to deny it because that's what you do. I sang that song to you because I mean it, because you're doubting me, Jeff. I don't know why, but you are and I need to make you understand that there's nothing to doubt."

"But why, then? Why that performance?"

"Because I knew you'd have to listen to me."

"So where do we stand?"

"I stand where I've always stood: right here, in front of you."

Jeff sighed and grabbed Nick's chains, pulling him forward. "When did you get so romantic?"

Nick smiled. "I've always been, you're just too dull to notice."

"Hey?" Jeff asked, smiling back. "Fuck you."

"Gladly so," Nick answered, grabbing Jeff's tie to bring him closer.

The two kissed.

-:-

While in the final Warbler practice of the day, Nick glared at his hand. It was intertwined with Jeff's, but he was sweating and he wondered if Jeff could tell. The two had gotten there before anyone else, and as everyone walked in they said hi. Jeff ignored Sebastian, though, who was talking quietly to Aiden. However, the two parted and Sebastian sat beside Nick.

"Who did you vote for?" Sebastian asked, jokingly.

"You," Nick joked back, but he was so nervous that it sounded true.

Sebastian's eyebrow rose at this. "Really?"

Jeff snorted but didn't say anything. Sebastian glared at him momentarily before looking back at Nick.

"Sorry about this morning," he said. "I'm just competitive."

"It's all right," Nick replied, watching as Thad and Trent made their way to the table, a simple piece of paper in Thad's hand.

"Take your seats, everyone," Trent said as he and Thad stood at the front of the table. They waited until everyone found their spots before they began.

"There are fourteen of us," Thad began. "I counted the votes numerous times, in hopes of figuring out why I was only counting thirteen votes. Someone didn't vote, which is bizarre because either Trent and I would have noticed, since, after all, he or I stood watching each individual vote."

Danny's hand came up. "Are you saying someone tampered with the ballot?"

Thad's tired eyes fell to him. "I would like to say yes, but there was no ballot. Both Thad and I, during last period, collected the votes from each of you and proceeded to count them up. But something must have happened between our arrival to here from each of your classes."

"Are you sure you got everyone's votes?" Jeff asked.

"We watched everyone write down a name," Trent said.

Jeff gave Nick's hand a squeeze. "So what does this mean, then? A re-vote?"

Both Thad and Trent ignored him.

"Not only was there one vote missing, but it seems that quite a few of you have something to say," Thad declared, glaring at everyone. "In fact, you already have."

Thad walked over to Nick and handed him the piece of paper in his hands. Nick grabbed it and looked at it, his heart dropping to his stomach.

_Sebastian - 13 votes_  
><em>Nick - 0 votes<em>

"No, I voted for you," Jeff stated. He snapped his eyes to the council. "I voted for him."

"So did I," said Danny. A few more voices chimed in, all admitting their vote went to Nick and not Sebastian.

"We've also found that missing vote," said Trent. He handed it to Nick.

_I'd vote for Nick but he still owes me a kiss._

"We're not sure who did this, Nick, but because of it both Trent and I have decided to cancel voting and both of us came to the conclusion that you should get the solo."

"It's obvious Sebastian did this!" Jeff shouted, despite the fact that his boyfriend had gotten the solo. And apparently owed someone a kiss.

"We can't prove that," Thad said. "And something tells me that no one's going to confess."

He was right. Half the Warblers looked away and squirmed in their seats.

"Congrats, Nick," Trent said. "You're the lead soloist for Sectionals."

Everyone clapped, even Sebastian, and Nick could only look somewhat pleased at his winning, but on the inside he was going down an emotional spiral.

Jeff was right, Sebastian had done it; but why? Because he hadn't kissed him?

"We''ll begin looking for a song for Nick to sing," Thad started, making his way to his seat behind the table.

Everyone stood up and gathered in small groups to discuss song ideas to listen to them on their phones. Nick slipped his hand out of Jeff's and exited the room, making his way to the bathroom and the end of the hall. He felt nauseous but he knew he wasn't going to vomit. Instead he went to the sink and turned on the cold tap and splashed his face a few times.

In the mirror he saw Jeff walk in.

"You okay?" Jeff asked.

Nick nodded.

"Then I guess I won't feel like such an asshole for asking you this: who the fuck do you owe a kiss to?"

Nick turned off the water and made his way to the towel dispenser.

"Sebastian," Nick said honestly.

Jeff laughed. "Of course. I mean, I knew he was behind this whole thing but I had hoped that I was wrong."

Nick said nothing.

"And why do you owe him a kiss?"

"Cincinnati."

"So the rumors are true, then, you guys really did get bashed?"

Nick nodded. "I only said that Sebastian had gotten in a fight with a stranger because I told my parents that, and if they knew the truth I'd become the next bubble boy."

"But you couldn't tell me the truth?" Jeff shook his head and shrugged. "So, let me get this straight: you three got in a fight, you were getting your ass kick and Sebastian protected you like some type of knight in shining armor. And you've promised him a kiss for this?"

"Something like that," Nick muttered.

"You do remember that I am your boyfriend, right? You can't just go around promising people a make-out session."

"I'm sorry."

"Fix this."

Nick blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Sebastian is going to continue to ruin things if you don't give him what he wants."

"I don't...I...You're not mad?"

"Oh, I'm beyond pissed. But I know you're going to make it up to me and make everything right, so my faith in that is what's keeping me from breaking up with you. Now go and fix this."

Jeff pushed the bathroom door open and crossed his arms, staring at the ground in front of him. Nick walked out, the butterflies from the morning back in his stomach as the two made their way back to the Warbler practice room.

As Nick heard the sound of laughter and faint music, he paused and turned to look at Jeff.

"I can't do this. It's fucked up."

Jeff could only look at Nick as he passed by him. He went into the room and Nick bit his lip._ What the fuck am I supposed to do_? he asked himself. And the answer appeared right in front of him.

"What?" Sebastian asked, coming out of the room.

"What?" Nick echoed.

"Jeff said you wanted to talk to me. I guess to bitch about the stunt I pulled, but as Thad said, no one can really prove it was me."

"Oh, right."

"But you still won."

"But I still owe you that kiss," Nick heard himself say.

"What? Right now? No dinner and a movie first?"

"If we don't do it then you'll just use it against me every chance you can get."

Sebastian smiled. "You've figured out my plan. Come on, then. Hit me with your best shot."

Nick walked toward him, the butterflies growing thicker by the second and his hands sweating even more. Sebastian continued to grin at him. Once in front of him, Nick got onto his tip toes and shut his eyes, his hands awkwardly finding Sebastian's shoulders. Their lips met and for five whole seconds they kissed. Nick hated how turned on he got, but he comforted himself in the fact that hormones had a mind of their own.

Sebastian pulled away and he laughed. "Wow. I can't believe I wasted my time on that. See you later, Nick." He went back to the room, but before he walked in completely, he looked back at Nick. "Still friends? Fantastic."

Nick couldn't help but feel anything but disappointment.

And he hated himself for it.

* * *

><p>Nick's song is "I'd Do Anything For You" by Foster the People.<p>

**Next Time: **Blaine returns, Nick is jealous, and Riley ships Niff.


	10. Chapter 10

_Cause you are, the only one_  
><em>Cause you are, the only one<em>

Two weeks later Blaine showed up at Dalton. It was the Warblers fifth time rehearsing 'Uptown Girl' since it had been suggested a few days before (they would choose a song and moments before they would finalize it, Sebastian would protest and they'd start their search for a new song). However, it was obvious this song wouldn't work for them; it wasn't a solo—Sebastian's idea to sing it, of course.

It had also been two weeks since Nick had kissed Sebastian. Not only would Nick remember that day for feeling oddly rejected, but he'd remember this one for feeling insanely jealous; Sebastian had showed up to practice the next day completely and utterly smitten with Blaine.

The thing was, Nick had no right to feel jealous. He had a boyfriend who he was seriously almost in love with and he found Sebastian to be oddly annoying, despite the fact that they were friends (if you could call what they had friendship). And also, Blaine was madly in love with Kurt, something he was thankful for. Though, he wasn't quite sure if he had the right to be thankful for it or if it was part of the jealousy he felt that made him glad Blaine wasn't single.

Nick had no idea that he had_ more-than-just-friends-feelings _towards Sebastian, and it caused him internal grief—Nick wasn't supposed to be having feelings for anyone other than Jeff.

But yet, there it was. He _did _like Sebastian.

What was he supposed to do about it? It wasn't like he could just stop. But there was no way in hell that he could act upon it, nor did he want to. Nick was completely happy with Jeff and he knew just how horrible of a boyfriend Sebastian would be.

Nick needed to confide into somebody about this but he knew that he couldn't talk to anyone that went to Dalton. As he sat in his Math class, he considered texting Kurt, but something told him that with Sebastian's recent affection for Blaine meant that Kurt would be dealing with Sebastian in a whole different manor, and he wasn't ready to put himself in that drama.

He wanted badly to talk to Trent about it, but Trent was probably in love with Sebastian and had a blabber-mouth. _Bless him, _Nick mentally added. His friendship with Thad had grown stronger, but yet he was still unsure; everyone who went to Dalton could get this information and Nick's relationship with Jeff would be screwed.

And then he realized who would keep it a secret, if not for Nick's sake but Jeff's.

So that night, after he finished his homework and managed to avoid another college talk with his parents, he hid himself in his bathroom, sitting in the tub as he refreshed Facebook over and over again, waiting for a certain name to pop up in the chat area. And when it did he wasted no time to talk.

_Nicholas Duval: _I need your help.

For nearly two minutes he didn't get a response and he began to panic. But then he was rewarded his sweet relief.

_Riley Sterling_: Hello, future brother-in-law! What can I do for you?

_Nicholas Duval_: Something serious has happened and I'm afraid that if Jeff finds out, we'll be done for. So can I trust you not to say anything?

_Riley Sterling: _I don't know... Keeping secrets from my only brother? That's asking a lot. What do I get in return?

_Nicholas Duval: _I'll name our first kid after you.

_Riley Sterling: _Ooh, I like that. All right, Nicky, you've got a friend in me. Speak.

_Nicholas Duval: _There's this guy at school, and he and I have grown close over these past few months and recently I've found out I have feelings for him. But I care for Jeff and I don't want to be with anyone but him. What do I do?

_Riley Sterling: _Isn't it obvious?

_Nicholas Duval: _...not really.

_Riley Sterling: _You care for Jeff more.

_Nicholas Duval: _...um, that's it? Because if it is, I already knew that.

_Riley Sterling: _You are soo stupid. Let me put this into terms you can understand. You + Feelings x Jeff - Guy = MORE FEELINGS FOR JEFF.

_Nicholas Duval: _…

_Riley Sterling: _*sigh* Jeff Guy. Got it? Good.

_Nicholas Duval: _Aaaand I understand. Well, not really, but this is as far as I'm going to get. You won't say anything to Jeff?

_Riley Sterling_: Scouts Honor. Pinkie Swear. Mother's Grave. Yadda yadda. But dude, not cool. You should only have eyes for Jeff and Jeff only.

_Nicholas Duval: _We all slip up. You're telling me you've never had feelings for anyone while you were with someone else?

_Riley Sterling: _That's exactly what I'm telling you. But then again, I've only ever had like two boyfriends.

_Nicholas Duval: _One of which you're still with, congrats. Maybe there is hope for me.

_Riley Sterling: _Of course there is. Now I have to go before my dad goes total bat-shit crazy and decides to sale my laptop to a kid in Africa for like, an elephant.

_Nicholas Duval: _I'm not even going to tell you how racists that was.

_Riley Sterling: _Meh, we all have our slip ups.

_Nicholas Duval: _Night.

_Riley Sterling: _Tootles.

Riley signed out and Nick let out a breath. He'd hoped that talking it out would make things better but in reality it only made him feel worse: someone else knew how much of a dick he was. _Great. Just what I was going for, though I probably deserve it._

He shut his laptop and climbed out of the bathroom and returned to his bedroom. After making sure his computer was charging, he collapsed on his bed and fell asleep, which hadn't been his intention—he had planned just to take a quick breather to collect himself.  
>He'd only been asleep for a good three hours when he was woken up by the sound of tapping. He pushed himself up, drool linking him from his mouth to his pillow. He wiped at his cheek and glanced to his right. His blinds were down so he couldn't see who was there, forcing him to get up to go see. Nick had a slight moment when he thought that he should be worried: what if it was a murderer on the other side? But he wasn't scared. He simply put his fingers between two closed shutters and pulled down. There was definitely a body outside, but it was too dark to see and he was peaking at a lower level of the blinds.<p>

He pulled his fingers out and reached some place higher, finding himself laughing at who had been knocking on his window.

"Blaine?"

"Can I...um, can I come in?" he asked. It was obvious he was drunk.

Nick grabbed for the cord to his blinds and pulled it down, sending the shutters up to the top and revealing Blaine through his window. He unlocked the bottom and pushed it up, straining a bit. Nick rarely opened his window.

"How in the world did you climb a two story house _drunk?_" Nick questioned, still laughing.

"Like I normally do. I just, ya know, used the drain and lots of muscles and here I am."

Nick was careful to make sure Blaine entered his bedroom without falling off the edge or onto the floor. But Blaine gracefully made it in, a little breathless.

"So many questions," Nick began. "Where do I start?"

Blaine shrugged and sat where he stood, crossing his legs and shutting his eyes. "Can I get some water first?"

"Sure," Nick said. He went down to the kitchen and got Blaine a water bottle from the fridge. When he returned Blaine was standing up again, staring at his phone with a sad look.

"You okay?"

"Besides being a stupid drunk, probably," Blaine retorted, thanking Nick for the water as he grabbed it and took a couple of swigs.

"And why are you drunk?"

"It's a long story."

Nick simply took a seat on his bed and blinked at Blaine. Blaine sighed, rolled his eyes and set his water and phone on Nick's desk and took a seat on the computer chair.

"Remember how I came to Dalton? And remember how I had a little chat with Sebastian? Well, he and I have been chatting more than that and we went to the Lima Bean today and Kurt showed up and Sebastian was hitting on me and the next thing I knew he was inviting us to Scandal's, you know...that gay bar? Anyway, yeah, so, I said no but Kurt said yes and we had fake IDs and they worked and Sebastian bought my drinks and they were good, ya know? And I really love the buzzed feeling. But my buzz turned into a drunk...is that even a word? Well, it turned into a drunk and I was drunk and then Kurt and I were going home and he's just so beautiful and amazing and wonderful and I wanted to have sex with him. Well, it's been on both our minds a lot more lately and I figured why wait? But Kurt, he didn't want it...he didn't want me. And he yelled at me and I yelled at him and I just had to get away so I started to walk home, but instead I found myself walking to your house and here I am."

Blaine took a deep breath and then a chug of his water.

"Oh, wow," was the only thing Nick could think of to say.

"I want to call him, but it's like, one in the morning and he's probably getting ready for bed and I just don't want to make this worse but I want to make it better."

"Maybe once you're sober you can work this all out."

Blaine nodded. "I know. I'm just impatient."

"No, you're not. You're just being stupid."

Blaine nodded again and smiled sheepishly at Nick. "I miss you, buddy."

"Really?"

"Of course!"

"It hasn't really seemed like it. I mean, you never call me or text me or email me. I get that you're busy and everything, but even if I was busy I would've at least wrote on your Wall."

"It's just hard...I mean, I've been going to Dalton since basically the beginning of freshman year. We joined the Warblers together, remember? But then Kurt came along, and God..._Kurt. _He changed everything for me. And not in a bad way, but a good way. And he's shown me what it means to fight back. He's shown me that the grass truly is greener on the other side. But that other side is so...closed. Once you're there it's hard to get out and it's even harder to bring others in. Whenever I think about you guys, it hurts. I think about everything that we've been through. And when I do give in and talk, it's about 'the Warblers this' and 'why did you transfer that' and 'we have nothing in common anymore' and 'I would have invited you but I figured you'd be stuck in Lima'. It's just a bunch of bullshit but it's all true and I feel less guilty when I don't talk to you guys."

"But that's not fair. What about Jeff and I? Aren't we more than just old school buddies? Did we not help out your family when your mom had that surgery? Did we not go to California with you two summers ago? Have we not been there at all?"

Blaine's eyes fell to the ground and he frowned. "I talk to Jeff."

"Not me."

"That's because you're so friggin' pissed off at me! I hear it every time I mention you around Jeff or Trent or Kurt. Even Wes and David! They're in different states and they even know how mad at me you are. How am I supposed to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me?"

"We were best friends, Blaine. And you just left me. Why? Because of a boy. It's bullshit and yeah, I am pissed at you. But I'm even more pissed that you're not even making an effort."

Blaine glared at Nick with such a ferocity that Nick flinched. "You're not making one, either. This isn't just about me. Friends. It's a reciprocal word. I talk, you talk. That's how this goes. Teamwork. Partnership."

"I was preparing myself..." Nick managed to say.

"For what?"

"The end of our friendship. It happened with Kurt. He came, we became great friends. Then he left and we barely talked. We still barely talk. In a sense, we're not friends anymore—just two people who happen to text when there's nobody else to text."

"That's because you guys aren't trying. I want to try, Nick, but why should I struggle so hard to keep you in my life when you're trying so hard to push me out?"

Nick sighed and nodded. "For a drunk person, you're perception is rather clear."

"That's because I'm not drunk. I'm not sober, either, but I'm not drunk. Not anymore, at least."

"Look, I'm sorry that I've been such a douchebag. It's just that I'm tired of trying to do anything these days. I tried so hard to get Jeff to open up, and then to keep him from going back into his depression. And then to get him to admit his feelings. And then there's the council and Sebastian and home and everything. People expect so much of me. Hell, I expect more. But it's hard and I'm exhausted."

"I get that. In fact, I get that so much that I'm wondering if we're the same person. I have my dad and my mom and Cooper and Kurt and New Directions. Then there's schoolwork and actual work and friends and clubs and teams. And now I have Kurt's family and Jeff and you and how am I supposed to be able to have room for things when I'm already outside my comfort zone? It's hard."

"It is," Nick agreed.

"I don't want to lose you, Nick. You're important to me and like you said, we've been through so much and it would be so stupid of us to let that go just because our lives went in different directions," Blaine said with a smile. He yawned afterwards and Nick let out a laugh.

"I guess it's time for bed."

"Mind if I crash here?" Blaine asked. Without hearing the answer, he kicked off his shoes and removed his untied bow-tie and threw it to the ground along with his sweater-vest. He walked to the other side of Nick's bed and crawled beneath the covers.

"Sure," Nick finally said. "But don't throw up."

"I already threw up...in your mom's rose bushes."

Nick rolled his eyes and got under his covers, as well.

"Nick?" Blaine asked after a moment.

"Yeah?" Nick replied.

"Don't tell him, or anyone, but if we're being really honest, I left to be with Kurt. I've never loved anyone so much. And I don't think I ever will."

"I know."

It didn't take long before Blaine was fast asleep, snoring softly.

Nick closed his eyes, sleeping better for the first time then he had in many weeks.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Does anyone even read this anymore? For those who care, six more chapters left.

**Next Time:** Stuff that took me a long time to write for not much of a result.


	11. Chapter 11

_Cause you are, the only one_  
><em>Cause you are, the only one<em>

December brought with it Sectionals, Nick's final decision about college, and a hospitalization that completely blindsided the Warblers.

To say that the time of Father Christmas was stressful would be an understatement, at least, that's how Nick saw it. A week before Sectionals began, the Warblers spent ninety-nine percent of their time rehearsing their set-list and choreography, and the other one percent being criticized by Sebastian. He was rubbing elbows with everyone and it was obvious that it was taking it's toll on the a capella Glee Club.

As Sebastian scolded Danny for being late for first practice, Nick could feel a sudden—if not frequent—urge to punch him. Thad must've been feeling the same way because out of the blue he slammed the gavel so hard against the desk that it snapped, the heavier part rolling across the floor and stopping in the middle of the room. Everyone's eyes grew wide and Sebastian was silenced.

"Sectionals is a week away! What more could we do to please you, Sebastian? It's a blizzard outside and Danny takes the public bus. He doesn't have a fancy car that his daddy bought for him. It's expected of him to be occasionally late, especially on a day like this. I'm getting so sick and tired of your superiority. _You_ do not run the Warblers. _You_do not get to choose anything. If you are to continue to be a part of this group then you will shut up and speak when you've been asked to. I don't want any more problems. Got it?"

Sebastian had never been so quiet. Nor angry.

And then a week later, nearly seven in the morning on a Friday, the Warblers made their ways separately to one of their competitions' schools. Nick, Jeff and Danny took Nick's car while everyone took their own. It was silly for them all to confine themselves in a two hour solitary drive, but no one really seemed keen to be cooped up on a bus with Sebastian.

Jeff held Nick's hand the entire time, mostly because Nick was nursing his nerves. He'd been great at keeping them at bay during rehearsals and singing in front of the people he felt most comfortable with, but as time drew closer and closer for Sectionals, he started to form all the symptoms of pre-show jitters.

"You'll do fine," Jeff promised. Nick would calm down after that and his mind would get lost in the thought of the two of them alone in his bedroom. But once he came to earth—with a tightness in his pants that wasn't there before—he'd quickly remember why it was he zoned out in the first place.

At the school parking-lot, which turned out to be Crestview High School, home of one of the show choirs they'd be performing against—the Intercostal Coasters—the three met up with Trent right outside the entrance doors. Thad had joined them soon after in the midst of a sea full of synchronized costumes and soccer moms.

"Is everyone here?" Thad began to panic. "This is insane. All right. Trent, Nick, we need to round everyone up. Let's all meet up in our green-room in ten, okay?"

Thankfully, everyone was in the room a few minutes later. Thad collapsed on the faux leather seat and closed his eyes. Apparently this had all been very trying on him and Nick felt bad. Though, he couldn't do anything about it; it was time for them to head to the auditorium to watch their competition. First up was Phonetics, a group of all girl singers plus three very tall boys.

Their performance was very cheerful, and not in a good way. Their smiles were much too big and fake—including their teeth, which were an alarming shade of white. The girls' dresses were lacy and low-cut, the color midnight blue, making their fair skin pop-out (read: boobies). There was enough cleavage to make even the straight men in the audience feel uncomfortable. Apparently their Glee director was taking the 'sex sells' road. They sang a Beatles number, followed by a Colbie Calliat song. Everyone was thankful when they left the stage.

The Warblers were up next. It was funny how quick their nerves left them, even Nick's, whose solo started them off. The uniform-clad group organized themselves onstage, two rows on either side of Nick. The lights dimmed on them and a spotlight hovered over Nick. Nick glanced to his side, waiting for Jeff to make eye-contact with him. When Jeff's brown irises met Nick's hazel, Nick took a deep breath and looked forward.

The audience jumped in their seats a little as his voice abruptly carried out the first lyric of the song. A few more lyrics followed suite and it wasn't long before the Warblers joined in, crooning out a long, harmonic "yeah" as Nick smiled widely with excitement. The lights were on everyone now as they sang to Etta James' 'Something's Gotta Hold On Me'. The choreography was very simple yet playful and energetic, each of the Warblers interacting with each other, and not because they were told to do so. They were honestly having a good time. Nick stayed in the front the entire time, a buzzing sensation flooding through him. He wondered at one point if this was how Blaine felt all those times he sang lead.

When that performance was finished, Nick found his jaw dropping as the audience stood up to clap. He could hardly hear the cheering because he was so amazed that all these people were standing. Sebastian gave his shoulder a slight shove as he made way to take center-stage alongside. Nick frowned a little.

Sebastian's cronies had made a big deal about how Sebastian had gotten the most votes for Lead Soloist and threatened to quit if he didn't get what he deserved. Thad and Trent had no choice but to grant their wishes and let him sing. It bummed Nick out that he wasn't being punished for rigging the votes but he wasn't going to make even more of a big deal than it was.

It was the medley now; Sebastian began singing 'Unchained Melody', the Warblers swaying and snapping their fingers in the background. But suddenly, their beats changed and they broke out into a synchronized dance as both Sebastian and Nick began to sing 'I Put A Spell On You', making their "Classics Theme" complete with a bundle of energy. Nick and Sebastian even managed to play off each other as they jumped around stage, doing different dance-moves.

When it was over and the audience began to cheer and clap hard for them, they rushed off the stage, hollering and hooting and telling Nick what an awesome job he did, which made Nick feel immensely wonderful about himself. He was still shocked at the standing ovation. Danny was sure they were going to win, mostly because he ran up to the last competitors, shouting "WHAT'S THE POINT? WE'VE GOT THIS IN THE BAG!" Thad thumped him on the head and they all went back to their seats.

Nick had blocked out the Intercostal Coaster' performance. He was lost in his body. He was shaking slightly, mostly post-nerves that had hid themselves away while he was on stage. He was in disbelief and he couldn't figure out how to sort things out properly. Sebastian, who sat on his right, leaned over and whispered "We are totally amazing. We need to sing together more often. Just say the word and we'll have a record in the stores before you lose that precious virginity of yours." Jeff sat on Nick's left and overheard Sebastian. He quickly grabbed Nick's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

Minutes later, all the singing groups were on the stage. Nick was still in his trance and only registered three things: the Intercostal Coasters rushing past him, the audience jumping up and down, and Trent pulling Nick into a horribly tight bear-hug.

He'd realized then, after he could breathe, that the Warblers had won Sectionals.

-:-

That night the Warblers celebrated their win at Sebastian's, who ordered stacks of pizza and managed to get everyone into the pool despite the freezing weather. Nick sat on the sidelines, not really in the mood to get drunk or party too hard. He was still in a awe from this morning's performance and those damn butterflies refused to go away, despite the competition being over. All of the Warblers were in high spirits, and with the stress gone, they even managed to be cordial with Sebastian (if not for the fact that he threw a party for them). Even Jeff was being nice to Sebastian, which made Nick sort of jealous. The two were smiling with each other and taking shots together, and Nick was sitting with a paper plate in his lap and an uneaten pizza crust on it.

But it was stupid of him to feel that way; he could get up and join in. Instead Nick decided to call it a night before his emotions took over completely. He said goodbye to a select few, mostly Danny and James, who were having a heart-to-heart chat about a girl Danny liked. They didn't beg him to stay, and no one came rushing out the door to stop him. It made him feel invisible and once again, stupid.

Nick felt stupid a lot lately.

His emotions were up and down, his hormones were raging, and he had no idea what he was doing anymore. He had no idea what to do.

Well, not entirely. There was one thing he wanted to do.

When Nick made it home that night, he went upstairs to his room and found his Ohio State University application and carried it downstairs. His family was all throughout the house: his mother in her study, his father in the livingroom, Patrick was sleeping in his room and Robby was probably masturbating to porn. Nick made his way to his father and sat beside him. He stared at the TV.

"How was the party?"

"Fine."

"It's only ten. You're home early."

Nick sighed. "I wasn't in the mood the party."

"Why not? You won!"

"I'm mailing my application tomorrow, Dad. Ohio State. Don't talk me out of it."

His father raised and eyebrow and chuckled, his attention stuck on the flat-screen. "If that's what you want, fine. Your mother and I will support you."

Nick nodded and stood up, making his way back up the stairs and towards the study at the end of the hall. Nick had always loved the study, mostly because it was full of bookshelves and cases that held books on anything and everything, from politics to history, to biographies to non-fiction, to fiction to poetry. Nick never needed to go to a library to check out books because all he had to do was pick one off a shelf and sit on the leather couch in the room and enjoy words his mother had once read. She was addicted to buying books so there was always something to read. It was really the only way he and his mother would bond. The only thing they had in common was a love for E.E Cummings and Harry Potter.

His mother was on Facebook, staring intently at Nick's wall.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

His mother didn't jump or flinch. "Taking a break. Seeing what you've been up. Making sure you're behaving online."

"Thanks for the trust."

She turned around and smirked at him. "Honey, if you didn't want me seeing your personal life you wouldn't have accepted my friend request."

"Actually, I friend requested you, remember?"

Her smile was a little more genuine this time. "I do."

"So," Nick began. "I'm applying to State, no ifs, ands or buts about it."

"Butts, funny," she deadpanned.

Nick rolled his eyes. His mother rarely attempted humor.

"But it's okay with you, right?"

"It's not. I'd much rather you go apply to a more Ivy League school, Nicholas. You're a wonderful student and I have no doubt in my mind that you wouldn't being rejected to anywhere you applied. Your career could be so much more. But you're eighteen now and it's your life. No matter what you do, it's your choice and I can't do anything about that."

Nick nodded and returned to his room. At his desk he placed the application carefully in the envelope and sealed it shut. He left it on the top of his closed laptop and sat on his bed, staring at it. He had a feeling that at some point in a life he'd regret this, but Nick didn't want to care so much about then. He wanted right now and right now he wanted to go someplace ordinary, someplace where he could just be himself. He was tired of expectations and Ohio State was his only chance at that.

Nick fell back onto his pillow and stared up at this ceiling. He wondered if he should call Jeff and tell him his decision, or anyone. Maybe Blaine or Kurt?_ Somebody._But his phone was in his car and before he could go get it, blackness took over.

-:-

It was Nick's father that had pulled Nick from a hazy, deep sleep.

"Nick, buddy, hey...wake up."

"What?" he asked in a sleepy slash irritated tone. He opened his eyes and sat up. When his father didn't respond right away, his heart dropped. Through the darkness his eyes scanned around him: his clock read midnight, and Jeff was there.

Nick swallowed, his throat dry. "What happened?"

"I tried to call you..." Jeff got out. Even though it was still a little too dark to see, Nick could tell that Jeff was shaking.

"I left my phone in my car. I was going to get it but I fell asleep."

"Nick, it's Thad," his dad started, taking a seat on Nick's bed. Nick rose slightly from the weight. "His parents called the house. He's in the hospital."

"What? Why?" Nick could only think the worst.

"Mental breakdown," Jeff claimed. "I guess he went ballistic—destroyed his room. Then he went catatonic or something. AWOL...mentally, though."

"Thad. _Our _Thad?"

"We all knew it was coming."

Nick wanted badly for Jeff to see the death glare he was giving him. "I don't recall this."

"He's been acting out for the past few months. I personally blame his girlfriend."

"No one really knows, Jeff. His parents are trying to get him to open up. Maybe you two can get the job done," Nick's father suggested. "That's why his parents called. Thad wants you two to go visit him."

"Right now?" Nick asked, already thinking about where he kicked his shoes off at.

"Probably not until morning," his father replied.

Jeff sighed in the darkness. "Your dad wanted to wait until morning before we told you, but I'm sort of freaking out."

"He told me he needed his boyfriend now and wouldn't take no for an answer. So sorry, for waking you up and whatnot."

"It's okay. I'm guessing a late night sleepover?"

"Just no funny business," his dad said jokingly even though it was an obvious warning. He got off the bed and bid the two goodnight ("Actually, considering the time, good morning.") and left.

Jeff didn't waste anytime getting into bed with Nick.

"I don't understand..." Nick said as he scooted over to the right side so Jeff would fit. "A mental breakdown? We _just _won Sectionals and he's freaking out?"

Nick could feel Jeff shrug. "It is weird. He seemed fine earlier."

"A little stressed, but Thad's always stressed."

"Thad not being stressed is a warning sign."

"At the party, did he seem okay?" Nick asked, flipping on his side.

"I don't know. Was he even there?"

"I'dunno. I left early."

Nick pictured Jeff saying "you did?" in that moment and he had to keep himself from flinching. But Jeff didn't say that, instead he said "I know."

"Yeah?"

Jeff nodded his head. "I saw you leave. I was going to go after you but I figured you wanted your space. You had a big day after all, and plus, the last time you partied you got bashed. I wasn't going to pressure you into having fun."

It was quiet for a moment and Jeff rolled over to his side so he was facing Nick. Jeff leaned over and pressed his lips against his and Nick's eyes shut immediately, that familiar warmth shooting through his body.

Suddenly Jeff yawned, his alcohol breath hitting against Nick's face. Jeff giggled once he finished and snuggled his head between Nick's neck and chest.

"I'm tired," he said softly.

"I bet," Nick replied. He wrapped his arms around Jeff and breathed in his scent. He could never place it and it bothered him a little, but he knew that he'd always recognized the smell even when Jeff was away.

A sudden thought hit him, then. Applying to Ohio State meant that he and Jeff would without a doubt be apart. Mostly because he didn't know Jeff's plans and Jeff's father would never let him apply to an intermediate college.

But...Nick wasn't sad about this. He was indifferent.

It scared the shit out of him.

-:-

Nick was the first to wake up. Jeff was snoring softly, his back facing Nick. Nick wiped at his eyes and got out of his bed, making his way to the bathroom where he'd take his usual morning pee and brush his teeth. Usually he'd wait, but since Jeff was here he didn't want to get caught with morning breath. By the time he returned to his room, Jeff was awake and was staring at Nick's wallpaper on his laptop.

"I can't photoshop to save my life," Nick quickly explained.

Jeff snorted. "Yeah, but it's cute. I had no idea you had so many photos of me. Creepy."

"Facebook, a stalkers best friend. Also, it's pictures of us and Blaine and Kurt and just...all of us."

Jeff turned from the collage and smirked at Nick. "But mostly me."

"Shut up," Nick laughed. Jeff's nose scrunched up at the sound. "Hungover?"

"Probably. I'll be fine after a cup of coffee. What do you say? Lima Bean then the hospital?"

Nick frowned. "I totally forgot about Thad. We should get him something."

"Like what, flowers?"

"A big teddy bear?"

"A Lil' Wayne CD?"

"A Justin Bieber CD?"

"A Twilight Poster?"

"How about we just kill him first?"

"We have to come up with something," Jeff said, grabbing his shoes by the door and pulling them on.

"Let's go get him a Buzz Lightyear cake at Harmons. He loves cake. And Buzz Lightyear."

Jeff glared at him. "No, you love cake and Buzz Lightyear."

Nick shrugged. "So does Thad. Now can we go get your coffee and his cake? The poor kid is probably suffocating in that place."

Jeff nodded and the two headed back to Jeff's house where they'd make two stops throughout town and then to the hospital to see Thad. They hadn't heard much about him this morning. Trent left Nick a message saying he was with Thad and that Thad wasn't speaking to anyone. Jeff checked Facebook and saw a bunch of posts on Thad's wall, all wishing him a quick recovery and how they're all praying for him. Jeff hated Facebook but he was one of those people that refused to delete his account. He enjoyed hating people and their stupidity. It often made Nick feel bad about himself. He loved Facebook.

"Look what Steven from Spanish said: 'Hey man, I can't believe what's happened. But I know no one is stronger person than you and you're going to crush them. The second you're back home we're gonna hang!'. A) Steven and Thad have never spoken, and B) Steven hates Thad...he told me himself but then he found out Thad and I were friends and he hated me, too. God. Fake bastard. I just want to puke."

Nick rolled his eyes as he sipped his iced coffee from Lima Bean and waited for the woman behind the counter to finish up with Thad's cake. "Has Blaine or Kurt posted anything?"

"Blaine posted for the both of them," Jeff said, no malice or sarcasm in his voice that everyone else got. "'Kurt and I are hoping that you'll get better as soon as possible. Sorry for all the flowers, he and I didn't really correspond and we both got the idea to bombard you with florals that represent meaning. We know you'll make it through this! We love you!'."

Twenty minutes later they were in Thad's hospital room. There were flowers all over the place, all different colors, thanks to the infamous Klaine. Nick nearly tripped over a vase on his way in. Thad was awake and seemed to be a little more like himself. He had a laptop on his legs and was constantly moving his index finger to scroll.

"Facebook, eh?" Nick guessed, a small smile taking place.

"You two haven't posted anything," Thad replied, his voice on autopilot.

"We're here to say it in person, but I know you," Jeff began, putting the cake over on the counter by the sink. "You hate sympathy."

"But you like cake," Nick pointed out. "Cake makes everything better."

"I'm not really in the mood to eat. But thanks."

The silence was awkward for a good fifty seconds, but Jeff suddenly glared at Thad.

"All right," he said, causing Thad to jump. "You wanted us here and we are. Talk."

Thad looked up at him and shrugged. "It was easier in my head. You know, the whole expectations versus reality thought process."

"Just...talk," Nick advised, taking a seat on the edge of Thad's bed. Jeff stood over the two, arms crossed.

"It's hard. I mean, I know how to talk and what to say but what if it doesn't come out right? What if I sound like a complete tool and make what happened seem like a big dramatic thing? I don't do these sort of things, you know that."

Nick nodded. "You supress them."

Thad nodded back, giving Nick a small grin. "Exactly. I have to. For my parents. For my family. For the Warblers. For myself. I have to be this emotionless robot just to have some sort of control and it gets harder and harder to do as my world falls to shit."

"We know," Nick and Jeff said at the same time.

"But it's okay," Jeff stated then. "I get where you're coming from. Remember my dark days? I did the same thing as you except I wasn't strong enough. I gave up. You at least tried but we were both wrong in what we did. We should have talked to someone but we didn't because we were afraid of what they'd think or do."

Thad stared at him and inhaled deeply. "Then I should talk."

Nick put his hand on Thad's knee on the bed sheet and gave it a squeeze. "We're here for you."

"It's hard. Like I said. But my life isn't like yours. My parents expect the best from me and I try so hard to keep my grades up and to become this person worthy of them but I'm not good at it. I fail tests no matter how hard I study and even though I've always made sure I excelled at everything I did,_ it still didn't matter. _I applied to Harvard Law and guess what? I didn't get in. Yale, Princeton, Stanford, Columbia, Oxford. All of them. I got rejected to all of them. I've never felt so disappointed in myself. And can you imagine my parents? I can't. I haven't told them. And Katrina, my girlfriend, how long have we been together? Since middle school? Well, she dumped my ass. Yep. Three months ago. She gave me some really true crap about how I never make time for her anymore. And why did I never make time for her? Oh, that's right, because I was worried about my damn college applications that in the end didn't mean a damn thing. So there goes my future, the love of my life...It's not just Katrina. It's the Warblers. Last year was so easy, only because Wes and David were there. They had three years of experience and I was the noob following them around like a little puppy dog. But now it's so hard and I can't even turn to them for advice. Do you know how much it sucks when I call them and go ignored? I get that they are busy with school or whatever, but they can't even take a minute to text me back?"

Nick could relate to this too well.

"I'm just so sick and tired of trying if there's nothing left for me."

That seemed to be the end of Thad's confession. He returned his eyes to his laptop and continued to do what he was doing before. Nick looked up at Jeff, but Jeff wasn't looking back. He was looking out the window, his arms dangling at his side.

"You two should go," Thad said suddenly then. "I take back what I said. I don't want either of you here." It wasn't rude or anything, but both Nick and Jeff did as he asked, leaving him alone. Nick felt slightly guilty but he knew that Thad needed his space.

As the two headed for Jeff's car, Nick turned to him and asked "I have to do something. Come with me?"

Jeff smiled and nodded.

-:-

It was almost eleven in the morning when Nick and Jeff headed down Nick's street to the blue mailbox that sat on the corner of Emerson and Harrison. It was rather peaceful and Nick was sort of in awe at how quiet it was, especially on this unusual warm, wintery Saturday.

But Nick was doing something that cause Jeff by surprise. As they came to a halt at the mailbox, Jeff questioned what he was doing and Nick's shoulders slumped.

"I'm mailing off my college application," Nick said, pulling out the brown envelope from between his red hoodie and jeans.

"Oh," Jeff said offhanded.

"Oh?" Nick questioned, letting Jeff take the application from his hands.

"Where are you applying?"

"Ohio State."

"Oh," the blonde echoed. "Why?"

Nick shrugged. "It's what I'm looking for right now."

Once more Jeff said "Oh."

Nick's jaw clenched. _"Why do you keep saying that?" _A beat. "It's like you're disappointed or something."

Jeff handed Nick back the envelope and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, staring down at his feet. "It's just...you've decided so quickly. I mean...I thought...I thought that we were going to decide about college together. You didn't even tell me that you were doing any of this."

"Yeah, I was going to talk to you about it but I figured you had your own problems and I didn't want to pressure you into deciding your future. And besides, most people have already applied to colleges or they will a few months from now. It was now or never."

Jeff didn't say anything for a while, instead he looked up at Nick and gave him a half-hearted grin. It broke Nick's heart.

"I'm sorry," Nick said. "I should have talked to you about this. It's only fair; you're my boyfriend."

"It's okay. After all, it's _your _future," Jeff responded, his smile finally genuine. Jeff grabbed the envelope from Nick again and put it through the letterdrop. When the tiny blue flap was pushed shut Jeff smiled at Nick again. "No more stressing over it, kay?"

_Easier said than done._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> A big thank you to Doug who came up with (and made) the medley. I appreciate his awesomeness so much. Also, fun fact, it took me weeks to write this chapter and it's still shit.

Five more chapters. If there's anything you'd like to see before this fic is over you better tell me now. (Hint: I just want some reviews. What can I say?)

**Next Time:** _Michael,_ Danny and Emily, and mother fucking Sebastian (how I love him so).


	12. Chapter 12

_The only one_  
><em>The only one<em>

Thad's hospitalization lasted much longer than anyone could have thought. He'd missed Christmas, New Year's Eve and now he was missing what could only be known as Thad's Throne Overthrowing. It was subtle and it wasn't something that took a while to do. It just happened. One second Nick and Trent were busying themselves without Thad to help direct the Warblers for Regionals and the next thing they knew Sebastian was declaring himself captain.

Everyone stared at him like he was crazy and laughed. But Sebastian was dead serious, and so were his cronies. Most of the Warblers in the room stood up, announcing their support for Sebastian to become the only council member. Jeff asked if they were kidding, and it didn't honestly seem like it. Those who had been loyal to Thad faltered and obviously felt bad, but they didn't back down.

Jeff laughed from his spot on the couch. "That's not possible. You can't just make yourself_ captain._"

Sebastian smirked but it was Eric who spoke for him. "But it is. If you have enough people to vote for it, at least. The rules say so."

Nick quickly tallied up the people standing. There were nine. Only seven were sitting. "He's right."

All eyes flashed to him, some angry and others smug.

"But that's not fair! Just because Thad's unable to be here it doesn't give you the right to just take over," Danny blurted out. "And there has to be three council members, not one."

"Most Glee Clubs have a single director. Our rules were set up way back in the day, when everyone decided that they didn't want a teacher in charge. They wanted to be free and fight and not realize how stupid they were being. What's worse than a teacher being in charge of us? Our friends being in charge of us. That's why I think I should be in charge. I'm not biased towards any of you and I sure as hell don't care what you think of me. I'm the perfect captain." Sebastian crossed his arms and stared at everyone, daring them to challenge him.

"But the rules..." Trent said, shaking his head in confusion.

"Can be changed," Sebastian stated. "Especially if you've got the money to change them."

No one could protest that. No matter how hard they tried to find a way to stop him, Sebastian could buy change. The Warblers who desperately didn't want him to be in charge had no choice but to hang their heads and give in.

And so it was. Trent, Nick, and ultimately Thad, were no longer council members. Sebastian took his place at the table, the newly fixed gavel in his right hand and the official minutes in his left. Nick wanted to puke.

-:-

One morning, Sebastian arrived late to first morning practice. Just as everyone against him was about to give him shit for it, he smiled widely at them.

"Michael. Jackson," he said, his words big and full of excitement.

"Um. What?" Danny asked, not worrying about any backlash.

Sebastian looked right at him and continued to smile. "Nude Erections are doing Michael Jackson."

"And how do you know this?" James asked.

"Why, Blaine, of course."

Jeff glared darkly at him. "And why in the world would he tell you that?"

Sebastian shrugged. "He trusts me, I guess. Or maybe he's the Benedict Arnold type. I don't care. All I know is that if the Nude Erections are doing MJ then we're going to do him better. Got it?"

And so it began. The group busied themselves for the next two days singing a rendition of 'I Want You Back', Sebastian taking lead. No one asked about auditions nor did they really care. Sebastian was going to get his way and all they could do was give him what he wanted.

Jeff tried to talk Nick into quitting but Nick couldn't. He loved the Warblers. And he knew that Thad would set things straight as soon as he got out of the hospital. But until then, they were condemned to following Sebastian's lead. Jeff was rather upset about this, but he didn't quit. Nick heard from Danny that Jeff was trying to get others to quit, but much like Nick, they had faith in Thad and Jeff had only two options: quit or continue. He did the latter, constantly cranky about everything.

Two days after Sebastian's royal decree, the group were caught performing 'I Want You Back' by five members from New Directions. Blaine, Kurt, Rachel, Santana and Artie watched with pursed lips and crossed arms. Nick stumbled during choreography but continued at it, knowing Sebastian was doing everything with twice as much gusto because of the angry audience gathered at the double-doors.

Once they were through, Sebastian walked up to them, not even breathless.

"Welcome," he said, not sounding very welcoming at all. "Can I help you?"

"You're not singing Michael," Artie declared.

"Oh, but we are," Sebastian replied.

"Sebastian," Blaine started, looking absolutely tortured. "When I told you what New Directions was doing it was in confidence. We were sharing what each other's groups were doing. You said you guys were stuck and I was just mentioning Michael; I thought maybe you'd get inspired and choose some other artist just as big. It didn't mean you had to go and steal him."

"We all have the right to sing Michael Jackson. There's nothing that can be done about it. And like I said earlier, Warblers get first choice and, well, we've chosen."

Nick made eye contact with Kurt. Kurt glared at him.

_This isn't my fault!_ Nick wanted to say to him. _Sebastian is a fucking nazi!_

"Now, if you five would leave..."

Santana said something to him in Spanish, her tone all growls and swears. Nick was rather happy he took French. Sebastian must've not understood either because he simply waved them off and the five left, just like that.

"Cowards," Aiden scoffed. "Couldn't even fight for it."

Nick felt shocked that they didn't try harder to get what they wanted.

It seemed everyone was giving into Sebastian these days.

-:-

Later that day, Nick made his way from his last period to the bathroom. When he finished and began to wash his hands, Sebastian stepped into his sight.

"Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you." Sebastian was texting on his iPhone, not really paying attention to Nick.

"Yippee," Nick said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and he went to the hand dryer.

"I need you to run a few errands for me."

Nick looked over his shoulder and gave Sebastian a dirty look. "No! I'm not your fucking errand boy! Do it yourself."

Sebastian finally looked up at him, looking actually hurt. "You don't have to be a dick about it. I have a shit ton of things I need to do and I need help. I thought as my friend you'd be a little more...well, willing to help."

"Friend? Sebastian, no. We're not friends. We never have been."

"Then what was all that in Cincinnati? I fucking saved your ass! Without me you'd probably be in a coma or something."

Nick shrugged. "That's life. I didn't ask for you to step in. And from what I understand, that Paul guy was kicking some serious ass. We're not friends, Sebastian. Especially after all the things that have been going down lately."

"Please," Sebastian pleaded, his green eyes glistening in the fluorescent lights. "I just need some help and I know I've rubbed elbows with you a couple of times and I'm sorry. But please help me out? I don't have time to do everything."

Nick sighed. "Fine. What?"

Sebastian grinned. "Would you text all the Warblers that aren't on the darkside to meet at the Travel Agency in Lima?"

"Why?"

"Blaine texted me saying that the Warblers needed to be there. I think they might jump us." Sebastian laughed and returned his attention back to his phone.

Nick scrunched up his nose. "That doesn't sound like fun. I don't think anyone's really down for that."

Sebastian laughed again. "They're not going to jump us. I was being funny. They're probably just going to try to get us to not do Michael. We'll humor them."

"Whatever. Is that all you need from me?"

Sebastian looked up at him one last time. "Get me a slushie."

Nick bit the inside of his cheek. "What flavor?"

Sebastian thought it over for two seconds and smiled darkly. "Cherry. Red's such a fun color, don't you think?" With that he turned and left the bathroom, leaving Nick with a feeling of dread in his stomach.

Nick left Dalton Academy and headed towards the nearest Mini-Mart. As he waited for the Cherry-Berry slush to fill up the large cup, he sent out a text to Jeff and Trent, telling them to meet him at the Travel Agency in Lima. He did the same for the rest as he got rang up and headed to his car.

However, Danny had no way of knowing so Nick drove to his apartment. He barely remember what building number to stop at and when it came to finding his actual apartment, he was stumped. A little girl with messy blonde hair bounded down a set of stairs. She smiled at Nick, her two front teeth missing.

"My brother has the same clothes!" she said, pointing at the D on Nick's jacket pocket.

He smiled at her. "Is your brother Danny?"

She nodded and pulled her coat hood over her head. "Are you his friend?"

"I am. Would it be alright if I talked to him?"

She told him the apartment number and headed off towards the playground. Nick went up the stairs and knocked on the door to his left. Danny answered it, still in his Dalton uniform.

"Nick! What's up? What are you doing at my house?"

"Sebastian is being bossy and has told me to tell everyone that we have a Warbler thing tonight. So I'm here to take you to this so called thing. I just want to go home, if you can't already tell."

Danny's face dropped. "I can't. I have to watch my sister."

Nick sighed. "I'm so jealous. You have no idea."

Nick's phone went off then and he frowned at Sebastian's name. "What?"

"How are things? Everyone's practically here."

"I'll be on my way soon enough. But just you know, Danny can't make it."

"And why is this?"

"He has to babysit. You know, because some of us have lives and have responsibilities."

"Fuck you, Nick. And fuck him, too. He's coming. I'll come get himself."

Nick rolled his eyes and looked at Danny. "Sebastian says he's coming to get you."

"I can't!" Danny shouted. "I have to watch my sister. It's not like I can take her with us!"

"He can. Tell him to get her and get in your car. You better be here like, now. And did you get my slushie?"

"On our way," Nick said. "And yes."

Nick hung-up and shrugged at Danny. "I'm going to kill Thad if he doesn't get better soon."

Danny grabbed his coat and left a note for his mom. He locked up behind him. Nick got into his car as Danny went for his sister. She was pouting as they got into Nick's car.

"Buckle up, Emily," Danny told her as he put on his own seat-belt.

"How old is she?" Nick asked.

"Eight."

"Younger siblings are the best," Nick said sarcastically as he backed out of the car-port.

"Slushie! Yum! Can I have some?" Emily questioned, eyeing the drink beside Nick.

"I'd let you have some but I'd probably die in the process. I'll buy you one after Danny and I are done with our stuff, kay?"

She smiled at him in the rear-view mirror. "Promise?"

"I promise."

-:-

Nick pulled up next to Jeff's car. Just as he was opening the door, Aiden threw his hands in and stole the slushie, slinking off to wherever it was he wanted to go. Nick didn't bother calling out to him. He figured Sebastian ordered him to get it. Jeff gave Nick a questioning look but receive no answer.

"New Directions are already here. Sebastian is one ansty mother fu..." He stopped as soon as he noticed Emily getting out of the car. Nick looked where he was looking and frowned. He'd forgotten about her.

"Danny, you may want your sister to stay in the car," Nick suggested.

Danny nodded. "Emily, we won't be gone long. But we're going to lock you up, kay?"

"But I'll be bored!"

"Here," Nick said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Emily. "I have a bunch of games you can play."

Emily got back in the car, taking Nick's phone with her. Once the door shut, he hit the lock button and the three headed over to wear Sebastian was.

"It's about time you two got here. Let's go."

They walked around the corner of the Travel Agency building and headed into a parking garage. The lights were still on and Nick could spot two figures a few feet away from the entrance, their heads covered in hoods. Nick didn't recognize Blaine until they got closer.

Santana and Blaine came in front of them, causing all the Warblers to halt and look towards Sebastian for their next move.

"We're here," Sebastian stated. _Duh,_ Nick wanted to say._ It's not like they didn't hear us marching down into an empty, cement-made car garage that's underground._

"We've got something to settle," Blaine replied. "Both of us want to use MJ but only one of us can."

"We're having a Jackson-off, Nick-at-Night," Santana added. "And winner gets the King of Pop for Regionals."

Sebastian gave a look of disbelief. "Us against the two of you? You really think you're that bad? Is that what they teach you in that little public school of yours?"

"Time to see who's_ bad,_" Blaine said, giving attitude.

With a snap of her fingers, Santana beckoned for the rest of New Directions to leave their shadows and venture towards the group of Warblers.

And so the Jackson-off began. The two Glee Clubs began to sing 'Bad', everyone full of intensity and passion. All glares and stage-fighting. Each group had perfect choreography, almost as if they'd been practicing together for weeks. The Warblers started to circle New Directions, which followed by with more stage-fighting.

And then everything turned horrible.

Before Nick could wipe away the smile he'd gotten from singing with the New Directions, he thoughtlessly took the brown paper bag from one of the Warblers and passed it on. Seconds later Sebastian was throwing the slushie Nick had bought for him at Kurt. Blaine pushed his boyfriend out of the way, though, falling to the ground, yelling in pain. Nick glanced at Sebastian, whose face dropped momentarily before he ushered the Warblers out.

Outside the garage, everyone panicked.

"Shit. Shit. Fuck. I can't believe we just did that," someone said.

Sebastian cocked his shoulders. "Relax, boys. Keep walking. As Blaine should know by now, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

"That's not a normal reaction to being slushied!" Jeff roared, walking in front of Sebastian. "Kurt has told me everything and from what I understand you're not left crippling in pain because of it! What did you do?"

Sebastian ignored him and pushed past him, heading straight for his car. But before he got in, he looked back at the remaining Warblers.

"Leave. Now." No one moved. "NOW!"

And so they did. They all got into their cars and drove away, not one of them going back to see what had happened.

Nick had never hated himself more.

-:-

Back at his house, after Nick had gotten Emily her slushie (which nearly killed him) and dropped both her and Danny off at home, Jeff paced his bedroom floor.

"How could we just leave? This is bullshit, Nick! Sebastian isn't the fucking bosses of us!"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know, Jeff. I just...let's forget about Sebastian. Did you get a hold of Blaine?"

"Of course not! His eyeball is probably falling out or something. I called Kurt, but he didn't pick up. Shit, dude. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I've never felt this horrible before."

"Relax," Nick said, though he was feeling just the same.

"I can't...I just...I can't."

Nick's phone went off and the two immediately went for the desk where it was sitting. The screen showed a picture of Thad cross-eyed. They were let down by the fact that it wasn't Blaine or Kurt but surprised that Thad was actually calling them.

"Hey, buddy," Nick said as soon as he picked them up.

"Hey. I just wanted you to be the first to know that I'll be back on Monday."

Nick mouthed the words "Thad's back Monday" to Jeff. "That's good to hear." Jeff fist pumped the air.

"How's everything going? I hope no one's taken over the Warblers or anything." Thad laughed at the idea.

"Of course not!" Nick lied. "But the Warblers are impatiently waiting for your return."

"Ha! Right. Anyway, I have to go to my therapy session but I'll talk to you later."

"Good luck," Nick said and hung up.

Jeff stared at Nick. "If Thad doesn't fix this then I'm really quitting. Got it?"

Nick nodded but didn't say me too. The Warblers meant everything to Nick—especially this year.

-:-

During lunch, Danny told Nick, Jeff, Trent and James to go to orchestra room. There, the rest of the Warblers were waiting outside the doors. Sebastian nodded at Nick and Trent.

"What's going on?" Trent asked.

"I got an anonymous text asking for us to meet someone here. Let's go."

Nick and Trent gave each other a look but they pushed upon the doors and the Warblers entered.

Santana entered through the back doors, her outfit just as dark as her demeanor. "Hey Andrew McCarthy, don't know if you heard but Blaine may lose an eye. The same Blaine who was just besties with most of you not four months ago."

"Wait, are you serious?" Trent asked, the sound of his heart dropping audible to Nick. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Oh sure, if he doesn't care seeing in three dimension."

"Trent, relax. I got this," Sebastian said, his voice full of warning. "Bummer about Blaine. He was pretty. He shouldn't have gotten in the way, though. That slushie was meant for Kurt."

"You may look like the villain out of a cheesy 80's high school movie, but you should know that I am fully prepared to go all Danny LaRusso on your ass." Santana was up in Sebastian's face now, not even a single part of her willing to back down. "Admit that you put something in that slushie. What was it, huh? Glass, asphalt?"

"Red dye number six," Sebastian replied cooly.

"You're a liar."

Sebastian looked back at the Warblers. "She questioned my honor?" He looked back at her. "I demand satisfaction in Warbler tradition."

"You want to have a duel?" Now it was her turn to look back. "Cello guys, can you hang back for a second? I may need you for this one."

"Everyone else clear out. I don't want you to see me make a girl cry." Nick could tell Sebastian was smiling even though he'd turned around and was already out the door.

The Warblers grouped around the closed doors, most of them pressing their ears against them. Nick spotted Eric and Aiden turn a corner but he couldn't be bothered to go after them.

"I hate Sebastian," Jeff muttered.

_I don't care,_ Nick replied mentally.

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him," Jeff carried on.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up,_ thought Nick.

"Don't you?" Jeff asked him, finally noticing his boyfriends indifference.

Nick shrugged.

"Are you kidding me? Blaine could be blind right now and what are we doing?_ Listening_ to Sebastian. _Taking orders_ from Sebastian._ Kissing the ass_ of Sebastian. Aren't you sick of it?"

"Then quit," Nick said, glaring at his boyfriend.

Jeff simply exhaled and rolled his eyes and went to listen on the other side.

"I think they're almost done!" James said, and at that moment Aiden and Eric returned, smiles on their faces and hands behind their back.

"Open the doors," Aiden ordered. Just as they did, Sebastian was heading towards them and Santana was saying how she was better, all the while Sebastian was grinning.

"Tell me the truth! What did you put in that slushie?" Santana asked, following behind him.

"Rock salt," Sebastian said, almost as if it was obvious. "But it's okay."

"Why is it okay? I just told you, Blaine had to have surgery!"

A slushie came between Trent and Nick and Sebastian grabbed for it. "It's okay...because I didn't put anything in this one."

Before anyone could do anything, Santana was spitting out cherry slushie and swearing that she would end Sebastian before she stormed out of the room through the backdoors and disappeared.

Sebastian turned back to the Warblers and sighed, looking into the cup. "Look, there's some left. I'd offer you some, Trent...but," Sebastian eyed Trent's midsection, "well, never mind."

"You can't keep doing this," Nick whispered to him, glaring.

Sebastian ignored him and smugly left, his followers taking his lead.

-:-

"Nice of you to show," Artie said as the Warblers entered through the curtains.

"Is whatever this is going to take long?" Sebastian asked bored-like. "I can't take the stench of public schools."

"It won't take long and all you have to do is sit and listen," a blonde said. Nick figured she was Quinn from Kurt's stories about all the Glee kids.

And so they did. Each of the Warblers sat in the seats in front of the stage.

"We're not doing Michael for Regionals," Artie declared, although he seemed sad about it.

"I didn't think you'd surrender that easily," Sebastian said, all smiles. On the inside he was doing a victory dance, Nick could just tell.

"We're tired of fighting and backstabbing," Kurt stated. "We're show choirs. We're supposed to be supportive of each other."

"This is what we call taking the high road," Puck said (which once again Nick remember Kurt saying). "Which I was shocked to find out it has nothing to do with marijuana."

Nick raised his eyebrows at Jeff and Jeff gave him a look back.

Artie jumped in. "Just because you're doing_ Michael_ doesn't mean you _understand_ Michael."

Sebastian sounded shocked. "And you do?"

"Yes," said Mercedes. "And we're about to show you."

This was one of the reasons why Nick was so jealous of other glee clubs. Warblers were so strict about looking classy and respectable but with groups like New Directions, all that mattered was having fun. Nick was itching to jump on stage and perform 'Black and White' with them. Apparently Trent was feeling the same way because he _did_ join New Directions.

Others started to join, including Jeff. Nick followed him instantly, not even hesitating to take two thoughts about it. When the performance was over, Sebastian started a slow clap. Nick was ready to snap.

"Come on, Sebastian! Give it up!"

Sebastian glared darkly at him. "That's the sort of attitude that lost us at Regionals last year."

_You weren't even there!_ Nick wanted to shout back but Santana cut in. "I could call the cops...or your headmaster and get you kicked out of school or even arrested for assaulting Blaine with that slushie."

Sebastian was looking annoyed. "All of this would be just awfully terrifying if you had any proof whatsoever."

"You mean like..." Santana pulled something out of her jacket pocket, "...you on tape admitting to it?"

And now it was Nick's turn to do an internal victory dance.

Kurt took the tape from Santana, seeming very happy about it. "But you know what? It just wouldn't be fun winning Regionals if you weren't there to suffer through all the agony of defeat."

Kurt tossed the tape and Sebastian caught it, still looking like he'd got kicked in the face.

"At least now all your teammates get to know exactly what kind of guy you are."

All the Warblers felt guilty about this. They already knew what kind of guy Sebastian was and had done nothing to stop him.

"Now get the hell out of my auditorium," Artie said, sounding much cooler than Sebastian ever would. Sebastian stood up and looked back, only receiving a 'School's Out' from Artie.

New Direction left the stage, leaving just the Warblers. All of the Dalton boys got down and headed towards the exit, each of them glaring at Sebastian and shaking their heads. Sebastian watched them all, not willing to give them any attitude.

When just Nick and Sebastian were left, Nick crossed his arms.

"No more chances now, Sebastian. Thad will be back next week and things will go back to how they were. Game over."

Sebastian only blinked and walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Very, very sloppy. I'm sorry. It was difficult.

**Next Time:**_ La la la la la_ SHABLAM DRAMA AND ANGST!


	13. Chapter 13

_The only one_  
><em>The only one<em>

By the time Thad returned to Dalton, it was like last week never happened. No one spoke of Michael Jackson, Blaine and the infamous slushie, or how Sebastian was the ultimate anti-Christ. No one spoke about those with Higher Power getting kicked off Warbler council. No one even seemed like there had been problems in Warbler paradise. It was, however, obvious that something had changed during Thad's absence. Maybe it was the way all the Warblers were getting along, or how happy they seemed. Or maybe it was Sebastian, who hadn't spoken one word since that day in the McKinley auditorium.

It was strange to not hear a snide or controlling comment come out of his mouth. In fact, it worried Nick, but he knew Sebastian deserved it. No one else was speaking to Sebastian and Nick certainly wasn't going to be the first, no matter how bad he wanted to lean over and ask "What are you up to, Smythe?"

Nick wondered if Sebastian's sudden silence was because he knew all the Warblers were pissed off at him. He wished it was guilt, despite Blaine's surgery going well.

-:-

Jeff and Nick had gone over to Blaine's house as soon as he was released from the hospital. His parents weren't too thrilled to have people over so soon but the two wouldn't take no for an answer. They hadn't spoken to Blaine since before the Jackson-off and they badly needed to apologize.

Blaine was eager to see them, which made the two feel even more bad.

"You're looking good," Jeff had told him, handing him a card that was signed by all the Warblers (minus Thad, Sebastian and Sebastian's posse). They'd bought it the day after the incident and went around that Saturday to get everyone to sign it. They'd even managed to get a few non-Warblers at Dalton to sign it, too. Blaine's eyes (eye) lit up as he opened it up and read all the "get well" messages.

"Oh my God," Blaine gasped. "I totally forgot about Ronnie! How's he doing? Does he still accidentally pee when he laughs?"

Jeff snorted. "Oh yeah! Mr. Yamu told us a Chemistry joke and I swear to God that classroom will never not smell like urine now."

"That's what that was..." Nick replied thoughtfully, grimacing.

"And Brennan. I had such a crush on him. And then something happened and he got ugly." Blaine sighed and closed the card, setting it down on his lap. He looked up at the two and smiled. "Thank you, guys. Really."

Nick stared at the gauze on Blaine's right eye and felt sick to his stomach.

"What?" Blaine asked, laughing from how uncomfortable he felt at Nick's staring.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Blaine," Nick confessed.

"Me too," Jeff immediately seconded.

"What? What for?"

"We just left and you were in pain and we didn't even try to help. You're our best friend and we just...did nothing. That kills us," Jeff said for the two.

Nick nodded. "I was the one who bought the damn slushie, too. I didn't know Sebastian was going to put rock salt in it. And when it was being passed around during 'Bad' I happily gave it to someone."

Blaine shook his head. "Both of you two need to stop feeling so guilty. The Warblers and New Directions were at war with each other and what happened happened. It's over with."

"I should have done something," Nick said, pushing the balloons he'd gotten for Blaine in the corner of the room. "I was just as responsible."

Blaine waved his hand dismissively. "You're not the one who did it, Nick. How were you supposed to know how evil Sebastian was?"

Jeff gave Nick a supportive pat on his back.

"Besides," Blaine continued. "I've been needing a reason to catch up on Desperate Housewives and two weeks out of school is enough time."

The three laughed.

-:-

But it wasn't just Sebastian who'd taken a silent vow. Jeff wasn't speaking to Nick.

And once again, Nick took too long to notice, but he didn't have time for his boyfriend exactly. The Warblers were preparing for Regionals (which was weeks away) and for some odd reason all the teachers planned tests for the same day. He was studying everything possible and the only thing he noticed was when he had fallen asleep accidentally.

He wasn't the only one dealing with this stress. Nearly all the boys that attended Dalton Academy were occupying themselves with numerous library books and an abundance of caffeine from wherever. Nick had even considered quitting the Warblers so he could have more time to study, but thankfully Thad only asked that they all came to the morning practice.

Nick, however, skipped out on these practices, only because he slept through them. Nick was only getting about two hours of sleep a day and didn't have enough time for the rest. So as Nick lay in his bed, hitting the snooze button on his alarm clock over and over again, everyone else decided what they should sing and how they should sing it. Auditions for solos were going on as Nick turned from his left side to his right. Sebastian was giving out great ideas and was winning over everyone with his voice as Nick's head rolled face first into his bowl of Cap'n Crunch.

It wasn't until he rushed to the boy's bathroom to throw-up his breakfast that he realized Jeff hadn't even been trying to get into contact with him. That Thursday, as he rinsed his mouth out with sink water and fished for a piece of gum in his bag, he finally turned on his cellphone. He had a few texts from friends and a couple of missed calls from his dad but there wasn't a single thing from Jeff. Nick had decided that since he was a little ill he'd take a fifteen minute break and track down his boyfriend.

He wasn't in the library, where Nick had been. He wasn't in the senior commons where most everyone was. He wasn't in study hall or any of the classrooms. He was in the gym, where he was kicking a soccer ball against the wall. He was all alone and didn't even turn on the light switches.

"What are you doing?" Nick asked, his voice echoing in the big room.

Jeff glanced back and squinted at the light from the door. "Nothing."

"You're really freaking me out right now," Nick said honestly.

"Sorry," he replied, walking towards Nick.

"What's going on?" the brunette asked, holding the door open for his boyfriend.

"Nothing," Jeff said once again.

"Are you mad at me?" Nick questioned as the two headed towards the school's cafeteria. It was lunchtime, but not many were eating.

Jeff shook his head. "I told you, it's nothing."

Nick frowned. "I'm sorry. It's just...all these tests are killing me. I haven't had time to talk to you or anything. As soon as they're over I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"You smell like vomit," Jeff muttered.

Nick looked down and noticed a dribble of said vomit on his tie. "Oh, God. I've gotta go."

He quickly turned on a heel and pulled off his tie, slightly gagging. But before he knew it he was rushing off to the bathroom to puke once again.

A minute later Jeff walked in. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think so," Nick stated from a stall. "I think it's from stress."

"I don't think so," Jeff retorted. "You actually look like shit, no offense."

Nick flushed the toilet and opened the stall door. He saw his reflection in the mirror and realized Jeff was right. His forehead was sweaty and he was looking rather gray. He then felt another urge to puke but it passed before he needed to turn around and drop his knees.

"I don't feel very good," Nick declared.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Ya think?"

Nick glared at him. "Don't be a dick to me. I told you I was sorry."

"You should go home," Jeff told him, his tone softer.

"I can't. I have so much more to study."

"Don't be an idiot. You're going to kill yourself."

Nick snorted. "Right. How am I going to do that? Maybe give myself a rather awful paper cut?"

"Now who's being a dick," Jeff muttered.

"Fuck you!" Nick shouted, pushing past Jeff and making his way back to the library.

Jeff didn't follow him and Nick was more hurt by that than anything.

-:-

Friday came and chances to study were gone. Everyone stressed about the tests they would be having in whatever class. Nick wasn't sick anymore but he was still pissed off at Jeff.

The two never saw each other that day.

-:-

The day before Valentine's day Nick called Jeff. Jeff didn't answer.

-:-

On Valentine's day Nick tried to call him again, but he still didn't answer.

-:-

On Sunday Nick saw him at church but never got a chance to speak to him.

-:-

On Tuesday word got out that a boy from another school tried to kill himself. Nick was relieved when he saw Jeff at Warbler practice.

Still, the news had sent a dark cloud over the entire school. Most of the kids at Dalton came from backgrounds where they'd been chased away, where they'd been bullied and had reasoned themselves to take their lives. Nick knew at least fifteen guys who had actually been sent to Dalton because they'd attempted suicide. He was grateful that they were someplace safe.

"Kurt and Blaine know this kid," Trent stated as everyone took a moment before practice. "He was the reason why Kurt came to Dalton when he did. He was gay and in the closet and was taking it out on Kurt. Word got out that he was gay at his new school, I guess. He couldn't take the heat and tried to hang himself."

"How do you know this?" James asked.

Trent grinned sadly. "Kurt's friend Mercedes. Well, she's my friend, too."

"I can't imagine ever killing myself," Danny muttered.

"You're lucky," Jeff told him. He made eye contact with Nick and Nick could have sworn Jeff was about to cry. Jeff looked away, though. He stared off at the wall beside him and Nick looked away as well. He spotted Sebastian on the other side of the room. He sat alone in a chair, his hands rubbing against each other and his eyes on the ground. Nick could feel his eyebrow quirk at the sight.

He wanted to ask Sebastian if he was okay but he bit his tongue and gave his attention back to Thad.

"I can see that some of you are deeply affected by this. Which is why I'm canceling today's practice," Thad smiled softly, as if he were relieved. "But tomorrow we pick back up where we left off and work twice as hard."

Everyone nodded and Thad banged his gavel against the tabletop, telling everyone that they were free to go. Nick sat up quickly and wiped his hands against his pants, watching as Jeff stood and started to walk past him.

"Jeff," he began but stopped when Jeff simply continued to walk past him. Nick groaned and collapsed back on the couch, hating life. Everyone filed out of the room and Nick decided that he was going to skip his next class. He was just so tired and needed a little time to think.

He heard a sniffle and looked back at Sebastian, who was still sitting there. Though, instead of looking at the ground, he was looking at Nick and was shamelessly crying.

"Sebastian?" Nick asked, worried. He sat up straight and scooted off the couch, walking over to him. "Whoa. Are you alright?"

Sebastian laughed with malice, tears freely falling down. "Am I alright? _Am I alright?_ What kind of a stupid question is that? Of course I'm not alright! I fucked up, Nick. _Bad._"

"What do you mean?" Nick got on his knees and looked up at Sebastian, who's face was slightly red and puffy.

Sebastian shook his head and let a sob free. Nick quickly reached a hand forward and put it on Sebastian's knee, giving a gentle squeeze.

"Hey, it's okay. You can talk to me."

"Right. I can just talk to you because we're best friends, right? Fuck off, Nick. You hate me."

Nick shook his head. "I don't. God, I've wanted to but I don't. _I can't._"

"Why?" the tearful boy asked, honestly curious.

"Because you're a human being and despite the horrible shit you do I know you're just calling out for help. You are a good person, Seb. I've seen it. But you refuse to be that person."

Sebastian stared at Nick and wiped at his cheeks and sniffed loudly. Just as it seemed like he got ahold of himself a new wave of sobs hit and Sebastian was shaking his head and crossing his arms across his chest.

"I fucked up, Nick. I really did and I'm so, so sorry," he cried.

"Tell me, Seb," Nick asked softly, leaning in to get a better look at Sebastian who was suddenly self-conscious about being seen crying. "It's okay, I mean it."

Sebastian nodded and wiped at his nose and inhaled deeply. "First, I'm sorry. For everything. For being a dick all the time and for what happened with Blaine. I'm sorry I made you kiss me. I'm sorry if I've ever made you hate me in the slightest. I'm sorry if anyone's hated me in the slightest."

Nick smiled kindly at him. "I forgive you."

Sebastian nodded again and smiled back, but that smile faded quickly. Nick could have sworn he was going to start crying again but he simply blinked back the tears that were in his eyes.

"It's my fault Karofsky tried to kill himself," he whimpered.

"What do you mean?"

"I had talked to him before and I just pushed him away. He wanted my advice and I wouldn't give it to him because I think I'm better than everyone."

"You didn't make him do this," Nick told him boldly.

Sebastian did his famous "I'm laughing but nothing is funny" chuckle and shook his head at the other brunette. "There was another who did kill himself and it was my fault." Nick was going to ask another question but Sebastian started once more. "He came to me asking for help, asking how to get a guy and how to act and how to come out and wanted me to guide him and be his mentor but I didn't give a fuck. There was a pretty blonde across the street mowing a lawn and that's all I cared about. My dick was too important and I told him to grow up and take care of things on his own. A week later he killed himself and I...I found him, Nick. I found him with his wrists cut and blood everywhere and all I couldn't do a damned thing to stop it."

Nick frowned. "You found him? How? Where?"

A tear rolled off Sebastian's cheek. "His bathroom. In our house. Across the hall from me."

"You lived with him?"

"He was my brother."

Nick sat back on his ass and his eyes grew wide as he stared at Sebastian. "I'm so sorry, Seb. So fucking—"

"Don't. Please," Sebastian cut in, finally looking like himself—mean. "I don't want the sorrys and the pity and that same old shit. He's dead. Nothing can be done about it."

"I—" All Nick wanted to was to apologize but he didn't want to piss off Sebastian, not when he was hurting like he was. Nick simply sat and stared at Sebastian as he continued to cry. The bell rang but neither boy moved.

"When did he do it?" Nick asked quietly.

"Three years ago. It was three years on Valentine's day. Can you imagine that? Me coming home from a date, only coming home to grab some condoms, the house empty when it's not supposed to be. I wasn't even going to check on him but I noticed my favorite shirt missing and went to go bitch at him and he wasn't in his room. The light was on in his bathroom but he wasn't answering me and I just got that bad feeling. It took me ten minutes to bust down the door and when I did I just stood there and stared at him for the longest time. It was like I was stuck. But eventually I called someone."

Nick nodded. "And how old was he?"

Sebastian stared at Nick for the longest time, his green eyes a blue color now. "Thirteen."

"Fuck," Nick whispered.

"Hey!" a voice shouted into the room. Nick looked back to see Coach Greene standing in the doorway. "You two better get to class before I assign both of you detention."

Sebastian stood and rushed past Nick and the coach. Nick got onto his feet and made his own way to his next class period, but he couldn't remember what it was. Instead he simply walked into another direction to make the coach happy.

Nick was simply shocked at hearing Sebastian's story about his brother. Nick had never lost anyone close to him and he couldn't imagine anyone he loved dying, let alone any of his brothers. But Nick couldn't help but imagine finding Robby dead the same way Sebastian's had died. Or god forbid Patrick! He was only three but the thought literally made Nick want to call home and see if he was okay. And then there was Josh, his brother that lived oversea. What if he died there and there was no way they Duval family to get to him? Or get him back?

Then there was Sebastian, who really did lose his brother. If Robby or any of his brothers asked him for help about being gay, Nick would be there for them no matter what, even if he wasn't a hundred percent sure what to do. But Sebastian turned his brother away. Sebastian must truly hate himself, but how could he continue to act like that? To do that to other guys in need like Karofsky? To continue to only care about having some guy to fuck? It was horrible!

But maybe Sebastian had been stuck in some sort of denial these past years. Maybe he thought that he hadn't made his brother kill himself, maybe he thought that nothing should change, maybe..._maybe what?_ Nick asked himself. _You're not Sebastian._

And then a sudden thought came to Nick that had Nick turning in the opposite direction to find Sebastian.

Nick found Sebastian right outside the school. He was sitting on the steps, sniffling and hugging his arms across his chest to keep him warm from the wintery snow.

"What was his name?" Nick asked, shivering instantly.

"Teddy," Sebastian replied instantly. "Technically Theodore, but we called him Teddy."

"I think we should go see Karofsky," Nick stated.

Sebastian shook his head. "That's not a good idea."

"You need this, Sebastian."

The taller brunette turned where he sat and stared up at Nick, glaring at him. "You don't know what the fuck I need!"

"You never got to tell Teddy you're sorry. You can at least tell Karofsky."

Sebastian was quiet for a moment and he turned back to face the parking lot. When he finally decided what he wanted he stood up and started down the steps and made his way to Nick's car, which was parked in the front. Nick raised an eyebrow and followed suit, unlocking the doors and getting in.

Nick started the ignition and went to turn down the volume but Sebastian stopped him.

"I'm not in the mood for silence right now," he told Nick.

-:-

Both Nick and Sebastian glanced at the body that laid on the hospital bed. His eyes were shut, dark rings beneath them. They spotted a slight pink tinge around his neck and both felt sick to their stomach. Sebastian looked down at Nick and Nick nodded in return. David Karofsky awoke at the sound of their shoes on the linoleum.

"Dalton boys, huh?" Karofsky asked as the two entered his hospital room. It seemed that he didn't recognize Sebastian. "Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry," Sebastian said.

Karofsky frowned. "Excuse me?"

"We met, before...at Scandals," Sebastian stated. Karofsky's eyes lit up with recognition.

"You're the kid who told me I was fat." Karofsky smiled and glanced at Nick. "I haven't seen you before."

"This is Nick," Sebastian explained. "He's my...he's my best friend." Sebastian looked at Nick to find some sort of approval. Nick only grinned, which told the taller boy that yes, Nick was his best friend. Sebastian looked back at the boy in the bed. "I'm so sorry."

Karofsky waved him off. "It's not your fault. I mean, yeah, you could have been nicer but it wasn't your fault. I promise."

"I can't accept that," Sebastian said. "I shouldn't have said those things and I really didn't mean them, I just...didn't care. I want to make it up to you."

"It's fine, really. And you don't need to make it up to me."

At that moment a doctor walked in. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you two to leave for a few minutes."

The two nodded and said bye to Karofsky, who was saying bye back with curiosity. Outside, Sebastian smiled at Nick.

"What?" Nick asked, smiling back cautiously.

"I know how to make it up to him, but we're going to need the Warblers' help."

-:-

That night during dinner, as Nick was talking about Karofsky to his parents, the doorbell rang. Nick's father left the table and ventured to the front door, returning with Jeff. He was pulling off his black beanie spotted with snow as he glanced at the family.

"Sorry, everyone, but I need to talk to Nick," Jeff said solemnly.

"Jeffrey, you do know that six is dinner for us, don't you?" Nick's mother asked.

"I know, Holly. I just—it's really important."

Nick's mother pursed her lips and glanced at Nick. "Take your plate with you. You're going to eat."

Nick did as told, grabbing his plate of spaghetti and following Jeff up to his room. Jeff laughed at him and Nick laughed back, feeling good about whatever was to come. In Nick's room Jeff took off his coat and placed it on the computer chair and sat there. Nick sat on his bed, his plate being lazily placed on the night stand.

"This is a sudden surprise," Nick declared.

"I've been stupid," Jeff replied.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, you have. But I've been stupid a bit, too. But at least I've been making in an effort to talk to you."

"Remember last April?" Jeff suddenly asked, waiting patiently for Nick to answer.

"Of course. That's when...that's when everything happened."

"It's been April for me again, Nick."

Nick's jaw dropped. "Why haven't you told me?"

Jeff bit his lip and stared at his boyfriend across from him. "Because I knew you'd be pissed off at me. You _will_ be pissed off at me, as soon as I tell you. And that's what I've come to do. When we got together I promised I'd talk to you about things but I haven't been doing it for months and I realized it's not fair."

"Has Drew come back?" Nick asked, feeling hurt without knowing if it was true or not.

"No."

"Okay. Tell me, then."

Jeff took a deep breath. "Let me finish before you interrupt, because I have a lot of things to say and I just want to get them all over with." He waited for Nick to agree before he began again. "I'm graduating next month. I've been doing extra school work since the beginning of the year and I'll officially be a graduate before anyone else. I can't take this bullshit anymore and I need to get out. I've needed to get out. It's been hard on me, doing so much work and trying to keep my grades up. But also, the other thing I haven't been able to tell you is that...that...God, I can't even say. Um, remember how the day after my birthday I went and told my parents about what had happened with Drew? Well, I didn't. I lied to you and I can see already that you're about to turn into the Hulk but hear me out: I couldn't tell them. How could I? My dad already hates me for being gay and if he knew I, his gay son, got raped, he'd completely lose it. He thinks it's bad enough that you and I are dating but if I was actually acting on it...? And it's not like I haven't wanted to tell them because I have, but I also know that deep down they care about me and that they'd want me to press charges. I know you've wanted me to press charges, too, but I can't. I don't want to go through all that drama."

Nick simply stared at his boyfriend, still in shock about all of this.

"It's like I don't even know you," he admitted, mostly to himself. Jeff took this as an insult and stood up immediately, pulling his coat back on.

"This is bullshit, Nick. You're my boyfriend—I should be able to talk to you about anything without judgement."

Nick stood up, too. "I'm not judging you, it's just that you never tell me anything anymore! How am I supposed to make room in my life for you if you're locking yourself away or telling me lies? I can't trust you anymore, Jeff. And apparently you don't trust me, either."

"I trust you more than anyone!"

"Then why aren't you talking to me?"

"I am!"

"_Now_. Not when things happen but later on, as if they never happened at all."

"Because that's how I like it to be! I'm sick of the past and how it effects my future. I just want to wake up one day without the stress or fear or fucking depression."

Nick sat back down and crossed his arms, biting his tongue to keep himself from saying anything hurtful. Nick was livid, but he wanted so badly to understand. Jeff took off his coat again and walked over to Nick and sat beside him.

"I know you don't understand. I just can't be here anymore. Not in Ohio. Not with my family. Not with this past that follows me. I'm ready to be a new person and that new person is somewhere else."

"And me?" Nick asked.

"I haven't figured that part out yet."

Nick snorted. "Is that your way of dumping me?"

Jeff turned his body and glared at Nick. "I'd never, ever dump you. You mean more to me than you will ever know. And yeah, I don't always show it but I love you."

It was the first time either boy had said it since they got together. Nick's anger vanished and he felt butterflies in his stomach.

"You don't have to say it back," Jeff said then. "In fact, I don't want you to say it. Not like this."

"But it's true," Nick replied, which was his way of saying it back without actually saying it.

Jeff smiled. "I know. How could you not?"

"Watch that ego," Nick joked, leaning towards Jeff to kiss him. Jeff immediately pressed his lips back, his hand going to the back of Nick's head. Nick's own hands went to Jeff's hips where he squeezed them as he felt Jeff's tongue touch his.

There kisses went from light to heavy at an instant, the need to be closer a shared thought. Nick sucked at Jeff's bottom lip as Jeff tried to get Nick to open his mouth wider. One of Nick's hands slipped beneath Jeff's T-shirt and he felt a new sensation as he touched Nick's bare skin there. Jeff, on the other hand, was past soft touches, but mostly because he had more experience than Nick. Jeff pushed Nick down onto the bed and put one leg on either side of him, so he was straddling his lap. Nick gasped as Jeff grazed his growing erection against Nick's. Nick ran his hands through Jeff's hair, which was thin and smooth. Jeff did the same to Nick, pulling at the brown locks so he could press his mouth harder against Nick's.

"Nicholas, you and Jeffrey need to be done talking," Nick's mother said from outside the door. Jeff pulled away from Nick to laugh and Nick strained his neck to put his lips on Jeff's once more.

"I love you," he said.

Jeff smiled. "I told you not to say it."

"And I chose to ignore you," Nick replied, closing his eyes to feel Jeff's lips better.

"Jeffrey?" Nick's mother asked from outside the door.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "Yes, Holly?"

"Go home, please," she replied.

"Yes, ma'am," he said to her.

Jeff kissed Nick one last time before he went home.

-:-

Warbler practice the next morning was much better than it had been the day before. Both Jeff and Nick walked hand-in-hand, especially lovey-dovey despite the argument they had had yesterday. Though, they parted so Nick could sit at the council table. But once Sebastian entered the room he stood and called for everyone's attention, joining Sebastian on the other side of the room.

"Sebastian has an announcement," Nick stated.

"Make it quick," replied Thad. "Regional's is this Friday and we need to work our asses off."

"That's what this is about," Sebastian told him. "I want us to change our set-list and ask for donations for the Lady Gaga Foundation, in honor of David Karofsky."

There were mixed emotions between the Warblers. Some were for it, but others protested the fact that they wouldn't have enough time to learn new songs and choreography.

"If New Directions could do it, why can't we?" Nick asked.

"Didn't they lose?" someone asked.

"That's not the point," Sebastian said. "What matters is that we do this for Karofsky."

"Why do you care so much?" Jeff asked.

Sebastian didn't give him any grief. "Because he deserves this."

"I think we should do this. Sebastian has my full support," Nick said.

"Mine too," said Trent.

"Same," said Danny.

Jeff nodded. "You can have my vote."

"And mine."

"Mine too."

"Ditto."

"It's a great idea, Sebastian."

And so on. By the end, everyone had voted for Sebastian's plan. Thad had said yes, too, but he wasn't very excited to change the set-list. But they did it anyway, making more time for Warbler practice.

After their final Regional practice on Thursday, Sebastian walked over to Nick and wordlessly thanked him. Nick wordlessly said your welcome and the two walked out of the Dalton together, making plans to go to Scandals together after Regionals.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Three chapters left. Anything you want to see? Anything you _don't _want to see? Leave a review. Kthxbai.

**Next Time: **smh.


	14. Chapter 14

_So come on love, draw your swords_  
><em>Shoot me to the ground<em>

Nick sat outside the headmaster's office, his left leg bouncing up and down as he chewed on the nails of his right hand. Jeff was currently in there, getting his diploma. Jeff's mother, Erica, sat outside with him. She had been in the office at the beginning but the headmaster wanted a personal word with Jeff. Jeff's father wasn't able to make it, thankfully. Nick wasn't in the mood for that type of tension.

Erica kept her head forward, staring at a painting of Dalton back when everything was new. Occasionally she'd look over and stare at Nick. He did what he could to avoid her gaze, though he'd catch it when he thought she wasn't looking.

Finally, she asked "How are you doing, Nick?"

Nick smiled kindly at her. "Pretty okay."

"Holly tells me that you've applied to OSU?"

"That's right."

"I went there," she told him.

Nick's eyes lit up. "You did?"

"I know what you're thinking. How could someone who married a man like Jeff's father ever go to a less than outstanding academic college?"

That's exactly what Nick was thinking. Jeff's family was a lot more richer than his, and both Nick's parents went to Harvard Law. Jeff's father also went to Harvard Law, but he was more successful at it than Nick's parents. Jeff's mother was a surgeon, so he figured she must've gone to a fancy school, too.

She smiled at him, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "I haven't always been rich, you know. That came to me from hard work, and well, having a decent future and marrying a man who could take care of me financially; the perks of love on that one. But I grew up poor. It was just my mother and I, and my little sisters. My father had been murdered when I was four and it was up to my mom to take charge. Though, she'd dropped out of high school to marry my father and she didn't have any skills. She worked as a maid. We lived in a one bedroom apartment and we slept on the same bed, which was two twins pushed together. We ate the same type of food constantly and it always tasted of cheap, because it was. And then she got sick and she died and I was only fourteen. My sister's and I moved in with my aunt and uncle, whom were in their fifties. They took care of us, though. They had more money than we'd ever had and they pushed us to go to school. When it was time for me to go to college, I received a grant for Ohio State. And so began the rest of my life."

Nick rubbed her arm to show her that he was sorry. She smiled at him and rubbed his knee.

"Just know that no matter where you go, you can have a future that's yours. It doesn't matter if you have more money than the other person. All that matters is that you're happy and are doing something you love."

"That's exactly what I'm doing. I've seen what it's like to try to please someone else and that's not the life for me."

"I'm really happy that my Jeffy has you," she whispered to him.

"I'm really happy I have him, too," he whispered back.

"I know that Jeff's father isn't as approving, but deep down inside, he's happy, too."

"Why is that? Is he homophobic or...?" Nick asked cautiously.

"It's not that he's homophobic, because he's not. He likes you just fine and Blaine and Trent and even Riley's friend Kayla. It's just the fact that his little boy isn't living up to the ideas he's planted throughout Jeff's childhood. He wanted Jeff to be a lawyer. For Jeff to be successful."

"Jeff wouldn't handle being in a stiff suit all the time," Nick noted.

"Jeff wouldn't handle not being free. Which is why he's doing this. You both have the same outlook about the future: it's not anybody's but yours and you're not going to succumb to the ideas that people make for you. You two are your own persons and that's how you're going to keep it."

Nick saw a sudden sadness in her and felt the same immediately.

At that moment, Jeff walked out with the headmaster, both of them shaking hands. Erica rushed over and shook hands with the headmaster, too, thanking him for all he'd done for Jeff's high school career. While the two talked, Jeff looked over at Nick and smiled. Nick smiled back, mouthing "I love you." Jeff mouthed it back.

That sadness Nick felt didn't decrease.

As the three walked towards the exit of Dalton, Jeff asked his mother if he could have a minute alone with Nick.

"Of course," she replied, grabbing Jeff's diploma and kissing him on the cheek before she ventured outside.

"What is it?" Nick asked, grabbing Jeff's hands and keeping them down at their sides.

School was over for the day, the only remaining bodies were that of the Dalton staff. It was almost six o'clock and Nick had already told his parents that he'd be late for dinner. Some of the school's lights had been shut off, so there was an eerie feeling to be in that old private school. It was exciting, though. Nick always enjoyed being in the school building when there were no classes.

Jeff remained quiet for a few minutes. He just stared at Nick, looking deep into his irises and letting his eyes memorize his boyfriend's face. Finally, after Nick was starting to get impatient, he leaned forward and gently kissed Jeff.

He pulled back and smiled softly. "I'm leaving, Nick."

"Where?"

"California. My uncle Charlie lives there. He's twenty-seven and he owns a surfshop and he wants me to come help him run the business."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

Nick dropped Jeff's hands and bacedk away, completely dumbstruck by the blow. He couldn't believe it.

He could forgive Jeff for ignoring him and being moody. He could forgive Jeff for not telling his parents about Drew. He could forgive Jeff for not letting Nick know he was going to graduate early. He could forgive Jeff for going to California.

He couldn't forgive Jeff for going so soon.

"Fuck you," Nick told him.

"I know," Jeff replied. "But don't be mad! I want you to come with me!"

"Fuck you," Nick told him once again.

"You've always told me that you wanted to live on a beach. We could buy a house together, feet away from the ocean!"

Nick glared at the blonde. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Why are you so upset?"

"I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I have a fucking life. I can't just drop things and follow you to California to sell fucking surfboards and live on a fucking beach like a married couple. I have school, Jeff. I have family, Jeff. I have friends, Jeff. And I _did_ have a boyfriend."

Jeff blinked, confused. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"I've needed to break up with you for months now, Jeff. But I loved you too damn much to not be with you. I still love you, but I can't take anymore of this."

"Of what?"

"Of you changing your life so quickly. Of you deciding what's best for you. Of you thinking I'll always be there for you now matter what you do."

Jeff glared back. "I had to!"

"Please enlighten me on this," Nick retorted with sarcasm.

"You're the one leaving me, remember? Who applied to a college and didn't even tell his boyfriend that he was doing this? Admit it, you've been canceling me out of your life since everything happened with Drew!"

"Because you can cancel me out whenever you like!"

Both the boys were livid, their hands curled into fists at their sides. Jeff was more willing to be calm, though. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to break up."

"I do."

Jeff was mad again. "Fine."

He turned and rushed out of the building, leaving Nick behind. Nick stayed inside for five minutes, completely lost as to what to do.

He broke up with Jeff. That just happened. That was real. Nick couldn't believe it. He didn't even mean it but how could he fix it? Did he want to fix it? Was he relieved? Happy? Sad? Mad? What was he feeling? All Nick knew was that he couldn't feel anything at all. He couldn't see past his shoes. He couldn't hear past his thoughts. He couldn't think about anything but how he fucked up.

He was able to get a hold of himself and headed home. In the car he touched his cheek and it was wet. He was crying. How long had he been crying for? Was he crying because he was heartbroken? Was he heartbroken? Nick didn't know anything. All he could manage to do was get home and get to his room before his family saw him.

In his room he broke down, something that had been needing to happen for a very long time. Nick wasn't a cryer, mostly because he had grown up as a male and all males are told to suck it up. Nick used to cry a lot before he started to go to school but as soon as he met other boys who rarely cried he learned that it wasn't right for him to do so. When he did cry it was because he was very upset or had gotten hurt. But after a while, he taught himself to push his tears away during the pain. He had yet to learn to control his tears when he got too mad or too frustrated, or, in this case, too sad.

The last time Nick had cried was when his parents grounded him right before a party Wes was hosting back in Nick's sophomore year. The Warblers had won Regionals and they were going to celebrate, but his parents had found out that Nick wasn't being entirely honest about his grades, which were pummeling face first into the ground. He'd received three F's and his parents told him he was grounded during Spring Break. Nick had cried and told his parents that he hated them, that they would have let his older brother get away with it, that they wanted Nick to suffer. Nick had been highly dramatic, something he regrets to this day.

He'd come close to crying on other occasions, but he'd managed to suck it up.

Now was a different story. He couldn't suck it up even if he was being held at gunpoint.

There was no stopping the tears. They came fast and hot and caused Nick's vision to be severely blurred. There was a hollow ache in his chest and as he tried to swallow back the sobs that came out even louder than he wanted them to do. He covered his hands over his face to keep quiet. He dropped his hands when he managed to get a second to breathe and tore off his Dalton blazar, tossing it angrily onto the ground. He kicked off his shoes and when he noticed how harsh he was throwing them against the wall his crying picked up and he ran towards his bathroom and shut the door behind him, locking it for good measure and made his way to the bathtub.

He wasn't sure why he felt so secure in the tub. He would go there when he wanted quiet or wanted to write things that were private. He wondered if it was because the last time he took an actual bath he was a little boy, where he'd play with his toys and his mother would run her soft fingers through his hair, promising she wouldn't get any soap in his eyes. He always trusted her, and not once did she lie. The tub made him feel safe and trusting, and it made him feel close to his mom.

As Nick sobbed into his knees, he realized then that he didn't want to hide away in the tub.

He wanted his mom.

He took a deep breath and wiped at his eyes, his sobs halting for a few moments as he gathered himself and stepped out of the tub. He went through both locked doors and glanced down the staircase. He could see that the dining room was empty and could hear the sound of gunshots from the TV. He took a few, slow steps down and caught sight of Robby sitting in front of the TV, controller in hand. Patrick was playing with his blocks beside him, completely blocking out the violence and gore.

Nick went back up the stairs and headed to the study where she was sitting in front of her computer, staring at a blank document.

"What are you doing?" Nick asked her, his voice nasally.

She didn't even jump at the sound of him. "I'm writing a novel."

"Oh," Nick said, suddenly aware that his mother was busy and that she'd have no time for him. "Well, okay."

He turned to leave but she swiveled in her chair and told him to stop. Nick avoided her eyes and stared at her bare feet. He red pumps were set aside beside her and he wanted badly to smile at this, but the pain was coming back and he couldn't even remember how to laugh.

"Aren't you going to ask me what's it's about?" Nick shrugged and continued to stare at her feet. "It's about you."

He looked up at this, forgetting about how he was feeling. "Really?"

She smirked at this. "Really. The only problem is my precious muse seems rather broken lately and I can't write if he's not fixed." She walked over to the right side of the room and grabbed the spare chair she kept for when Nick's father came to watch over her shoulder. "Come sit," she instructed as she patted the cushioned seat.

Nick did as he was told, taking deep breaths and blinking back his tears.

"Erica told me that something happened between you and Jeff," she stated.

"How does she know?" he asked, whispering and avoiding her gaze.

"Apparently as soon as Jeff got into her car he started crying, saying how you broke up with him. Is this true?"

And thus continued Nick's break down. "I don't want it to be, Mom."

Nick's mother put her hand on his back and rubbed it as Nick cried into his hands again, trying to stop himself. His shoulders shook and he realized that he was crying much worse than before. His mother shushed him and wrapped her arms around him, running her hands over his head and arms. She said nothing else to him, though. She gave him no advice to talk to Jeff or that she'd make things better. She didn't tell him how it would get better and that time heals. She didn't tell him that he needed to suck it up. She simply let him be and offered only her presence. It was all he needed, and when his father found them, he walked over and took over. Nick allowed himself to fall into his father's arms and squeezed him tightly as he felt lips on the top of his head.

When he felt himself grow tired he left, telling his parents that he loved him and that he'd be fine. But back in his room he cried into his pillow until sleep found him.

The next morning, his alarm didn't go off, which he later found out that his mother had shut it off sometime during the night. They allowed him to stay home from school. His mother also called into work, as did his father. They did make Robby go to school and took Patrick to the daycare before the three of them ventured out to breakfast.

Nick was in misery. He no longer felt the urge to cry but he couldn't help but feel only his heartache. As he poked at his pancakes and sipped lazily at his coke, his parents studied him.

"Are you going to talk to him?" his father asked after the waitress came to ask how they were doing.

"No," was Nick's immediate answer. "There's nothing to say."

"You don't want to get back together with him?" his mother joined in.

"No. Yes. Maybe."

His mother smiled. "Then why not tell him?"

"Because I'm pissed off!" Nick shouted, the elderly couple at the table beside them looking over. "He's leaving, Mom. Did Erica tell you that?"

"She did," his mother responded. "She also told me that Jeff wanted you to go with him."

"And I told him I couldn't, that my life doesn't revolve around him."

Nick's father rolled his eyes and dropped his utensils. "That's a big fat lie. Jeff is everything to you!"

Nick was shocked at his father's sudden outburst, but he wasn't willing to back down. "There's more to life than having a boyfriend, _Dad._"

"There is, but there's more to life than school."

"Then why do you think I dumped him, hmm? Since you're so _in tune_ with everything happening in my life."

It was Nick's mother who answered. "Distance changes everything."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're father and I were in a long distance relationship, Nicholas. In fact, we broke up because of it. Other people had come into our lives and we'd lost our connection with each other. But you know what? We found each other again, and everything was much better."

"I don't get the point you're making," Nick retorted.

"You and Jeff don't have to be over because you're afraid of what's in store for you two," his father said to him. "Yes, long distance relationships are hard but if you keep at it you can make it through anything. If you love him enough, and if he loves you enough - which I know he does - you both can conquer anything that comes between you two."

Nick pushed his plate away from him. "I think I'll go to school."

-:-

A week had passed and Nick could hardly believe it. Jeff had gone to California, leaving everything behind. Nick refused to talk about him and he had managed to face his parents without feeling the need to cry or yell.

Dalton was a lot emptier without Jeff, lonelier too. Nick missed him more than anything and had become numb to the world. He didn't care if he did his homework or if the Warblers were suffering because of his lack of enthusiasm. He didn't care if his friends stopped texting him or if he stopped eating. All Nick cared about was ignoring the fact that Jeff was gone.

The only person who made an effort to get him to open up was Sebastian.

"...and the porn star looked just like you. I just about stopped myself from coming to call and interrogate you but I came anyways and decided that it couldn't be you because your butt is bigger."

The two of them were sitting in the Lima Bean instead of being at Warbler practice. Sebastian had cornered Nick after his last period and told him that he needed to get away. Nick didn't protest. Instead he got into Sebastian's car and turned the volume up. The two had been discussing a reality show when Nick zoned out, not hearing a single word Sebastian had been saying until he came back to Earth.

"What?" Nick blinked, grabbing his coffee.

"Did you not hear a word I say? Fuck, Duval, how am I supposed to get the attention I want from you if you're thinking about that twink ex-boyfriend of yours?"

"I'm sorry," Nick quickly replied. "And I wasn't thinking of him."

"That's bullshit. You were thinking of him."

For some odd reason, Nick wanted to prove Sebastian wrong more than anything in the world. He was getting sick of Sebastian's smug attitude and Nick wasn't feeling up to being a pushover.

"I was thinking about asking you to prom, actually," Nick lied. But it wasn't a lie, not really. Nick had been thinking about it since he saw the flyers posted throughout the halls of Dalton. He knew he wanted to go; Nick loved a good dance. The only problem was that he wouldn't be able to get a date because everyone was either taken or ignoring him, and there was no way in hell he was going with a girl from County Crawford like he did last year. The only other outcast was Sebastian, and not only was Sebastian not taken, but he was very much not a girl.

Sebastian laughed at his, thinking it was a joke. Then he noticed Nick's face. "Wait. You're serious?"

"Who else are you going to go with? Trent?" Nick scolded himself for that. In fact, he flat-out hated himself. Regardless, he kept his face straight.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him, as if it were a joke, but eventually he agreed.

"You know, prom is notorious for the loss of virginity," Sebastian stated as Nick let his mind wander back off to Jeff.

* * *

><p><strong>Next Time:<strong> Stuff goes down in Nick's house, Nick realizes what Sebastian means to him, and someone brings Nick a surprise.


	15. Chapter 15

_You are mine, I am yours_  
><em>Lets not fuck around<em>

"I hate being short," Nick commented as he stood on his tiptoes to keep the bottoms of the dress pants he wore from getting dirty.

Kurt licked his thumb and flipped another page of the GQ he was reading. "Obviously you forgot that I'm dating Frodo."

"I deny your humor. You haven't even seen or read Lord of the Rings."

"True, but it doesn't make my boyfriend any taller."

Nick huffed and rolled his eyes. "Can you get over Ryan Gosling long enough to help me find a suit?"

"I'd rather not," Kurt replied. "Especially since you're taking that horrible creature with you. Oh, and I'm still pissed off at you for dumping Jeff."

"This isn't about you, Kurt. And I told you what I needed a suit for in the first place and you agreed to help me." Nick took of the black jacket and hung it back up on his hanger and placed it on the bed. "I'm fully aware of your hatred of Sebastian but it's not like you're the one taking him to prom. He and I have had our differences and they've been resolved. So please, if you'd just tell me what the fuck to wear, I'd really appreciate it."

Kurt set the magazine onto the desk and dramatically sighed. "Fine."

"Thank you," Nick said to him.

Nick had been walking on eggshells lately. Everyone seemed to be pissed off at him for one reason or another and all he could do was try to pretend that everything was okay when it obviously wasn't. Nick couldn't do anything right anymore. All of the Warblers were pissed that he dumped Jeff and even more pissed that he was so close to Sebastian. His parents were pissed at Nick as well, mostly because Nick was suddenly making so many grown-up decisions about his future without allowing them to have a little input.

It had only been about four months since he sent his application to Ohio State and would be getting his results any day now. Even though he wasn't sure if he'd been accepted or not, he made side notes about what courses he'd take and what he'd major in. He was even saving his money to buy things for the dorm he'd stay in. No matter how hypothetical his future was, he continued to live like he'd gotten in. He applied to work at the Columbus Museum of Art, a place he'd once interned for a few summers back when his uncle had been living in Ohio. He had gotten called back for an interview on Tuesday and by Thursday he was hired, granted he wouldn't start working till the end of May.

It was Friday now. Prom night. And Nick wished he was at Ohio State now, living a life away from everyone he knew. You'd think he wouldn't be able to have that, but he would. Everyone graduating from Dalton would be going somewhere outside the North-East state and he was sure that any of the girls from County Crawford would also be taking the 'get-away' route. He also didn't really know anyone at McKinley so he was thankful to not have to think about that. Nick was going to be alone and it was a true Godsend.

Though, no matter where he went, thoughts of Jeff would always follow.

Kurt stared at the suits Nick had, complaining over the fact that Nick was rich and only had three fucking suits, and they're all brown. Nick could only tell him that the one of the left only looked brown but it was actually a charcoal color. Kurt rolled his eyes and talked about how many suits he'd have if he was a Duval.

Nick took a break and went down to the kitchen and got himself an apple from the fruit-dish on the counter. He stared off into space as he ate the red fruit, wondering what Jeff was doing.

Jeff was some-what active on Facebook. From his late night studies, Nick discovered that Jeff's blonde hair had gotten lighter and that Jeff had a farmer's tan around his wrists from the bracelets he'd been wearing while surfing. He knew that there was another blonde boy that Jeff worked with named Randy; he was always liking and commenting on Jeff's statuses. Nick wanted to cry when Jeff talked about being homesick and "missing him" but all he could manage to do was exit out of Facebook and try to get some sleep.

Jeff was happy in California, though, and that was enough to help Nick move on.

Sometimes Nick wished he'd gone with Jeff.

Sometimes Nick considered packing himself into his car and going.

Sometimes Nick was glad he was alone.

Sometimes Nick found life easier to be, not worrying about someone so much.

But most the time, Nick just wanted his best friend back.

Kurt came downstairs and found the brunette in the kitchen. He put his hands on his hips and sighed.

"Go with the dark suit. Maybe do something with your hair? Wet it, slick it back. And don't drink the punch. You really don't need to get drunk."

Nick smiled. "Who says there's anything in the punch but punch?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Please. No one parties like the Warblers and no one knows how to get people drunk them. But maybe you shouldn't drink anything at all. Sebastian might roofie you."

"Yes, Mom. I'll make sure to wear a condom, too."

"Wait, you don't plan on having sex with him, do you?" Kurt asked, keeping his voice low so no one would here.

Nick paused for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe."

Kurt walked up to Nick and smacked his arm.

"Ouch!" Nick cried out, grabbing his shoulder.

Kurt glared at him. "Are you insane? You can't have sex with _him!_"

"That's not really your business."

"No, it's not. But as your best friend it's my job to tell you when you're making stupid decisions about having sex with evil, manipulative monsters like Sebastian friggin' Smythe!"

_You're not my best friend,_ Nick wanted to say to him. _Jeff is._

"Kurt, just don't. I'm so sick and tired of everyone ragging on Sebastian. He's different. Karofsky's suicide attempt made a light switch go on and he's changed."

"For now, Nick. But what happens when he turns into the sleeze-bag he truly is? You're going to get hurt. Maybe like Jeff..."

Nick's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" Kurt shook his head and made to change the subject but Nick stopped him. "He told you, didn't he?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That's bullshit, Kurt! He told you! When? Before or after we broke up?"

"After. Right after. Jeff was heartbroken and he had no one to turn to. He couldn't talk to his parents or his sister and I was the only one there for him. He told me about that guy and what he did and about everything."

Nick was furious. It took him forever to get Jeff to open up to him but he'd easily skip off and tell someone else the second he felt upset.

"He's such an attention whore," Nick whispered angrily.

"That's the last thing he is," Kurt retorted.

"It explains everything. Remember last April? He laid in bed for days, me pawing at him to get up like a dog. He stays quiet and butthurt so people can ask him what's wrong but he never says anything. And when no one's there to ask him he goes to whoever will listen and be on his side and tell him everything is okay. You call Sebastian manipulative but look at what Jeff's done. I practically came out to him to get him to cheer up and in the end I'm single and headed to a prom with a guy I half-like. This is just bullshit. I changed my life for him."

"Please tell me how you've _changed your life for him._"

"Don't be condescending. It's not a color that suits you well, _Hummel._"

"Stop being such an asshole and maybe I'll treat you with a little decency. However, I don't see how you deserve it. You make Jeff try to get over things he's clearly unable to get over with and you bitch and moan when he's depressed. He's a human being and he isn't going to become the person you want him to be when you want him to be it. You clearly flirt with other guys when you say you love him. The Warblers, Blaine, your friends at Dalton—everyone has seen how much you hate them. Why else are you so eager to be single and to be an outcast and to be a totally new person? Try and forgot all you want but you're still a richy-prep boy who thinks the world is out to get him when it's clearly not! Why not try to put yourself in mine or Jeff's or Blaine's or Karofsky's shoes? Have you ever been harassed? Bashed? Bullied? Raped? Suicidal? No, you haven't. So fuck you and your pretentious problems. Life is wonderful to you and you should be grateful for what you've got. Instead you throw it out and cry 'oh, woe is me' and act like the only way for things to change is to be a douchebag. Get over yourself."

Nick had been biting his tongue so hard that he felt blood begun to swell. His fingernails were leaving crescent imprints in his palms from curling his hands into fists. He wanted badly to do something with them but instead he took a deep breath.

"Get out," he said harshly to Kurt.

"With pleasure," Kurt growled back, leaving the kitchen. Nick didn't move until he heard the sound of the front door shutting.

Once the coast was clear he threw his apple away and went up stairs, tearing off his too-big brown dress pants and putting on the black ones. Prom was about an hour away and he needed to finish getting ready. By the time he pulled his suit jacket on and remembered he was supposed to take a shower. He nearly caused all the buttons to rip on his dress shirt as he took of his clothes and stomped to the bathroom.

The water was hot and stung against his face, but he enjoyed it. His muscles started to relax and he knew he needed to get Kurt off his mind and concentrate on making tonight a good one. When he returned to his room, towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping onto the carpet from his hair, he was surprised to find Sebastian on his bed looking at Nick's cellphone and dressed in a tuxedo.

"Sex before? Thanks, but I just ate. I should at least wait thirty minutes."

"What are you doing here? And what are you doing on my phone?"

Sebastian scrunched up his nose. "Just reading old texts between you and Jeff. Gross. How many times can you guys talk about how cute the other one is?" Nick walked over and pulled his cellphone out of his hand. "As Michelle Tanner would say: how rude."

"What are you doing here?" Nick asked again. "I thought I was meeting you at Dalton."

"Jeeze, Nicky, what crawled up your ass and died?"

Nick's rage was back. "Don't...don't call me Nicky."

"Oh, I see how this is. You get to call me whatever you want but when I try to put a little effort in this I can't? You're not the boss of me, _Nicky._" There was a pause before Sebastian sighed. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

Nick was surprised to see him frown.

"Look, I'm sorry," Sebastian explained. "I just...I just thought we were friends so I thought it would be okay to have fun. I'll go home. Prom is stupid, anyway."

He proceeded to get off Nick's bed and head for the door, a kicked-puppy look on his face. Nick couldn't tell if it was genuine or exaggerated but if made him feel like shit. He ran ahead of Sebastian, blocking the door. Sebastian stopped and glanced at Nick, a raised eyebrow and what was detected as a phantom smirk. Part of Nick knew Sebastian was manipulating him, another part was willing to let him. Nick remained between the taller boy and the door, his hands pressing against the exit. His eyes shot to Sebastian's lips and regrettably Nick licked his own in response. Sebastian saw this and took a single stride so he stood an inch from the other boy. Nick could feel the warmth of Sebastian's breath on his face and the heat of his body against his torso.

Nick could tell he wanted to say something, perhaps a remark or something witty. But he didn't. he only stared down at Nick; in his eyes, at his lips, down where his hands grazed his waist. He licked his lips and a sudden darkness grew in his eyes and Nick felt a tinge in his dick. With that single look, he wanted to do things to Sebastian that he never imagined doing to Jeff.

"What do you want?" Sebastian asked, moving closer so their chests were touching. Nick felt Sebastian's thigh rub against his dick and his knees trembled. He looked up at Sebastian and felt his left hand move itself from the door. He could feel sweat on his palm but ignored it as he reached up and grabbed the lapel of Sebastian's tux, using it as leverage to get on his tiptoes to kiss him.

Nick felt Sebastian's tongue in his mouth immediately, causing him to make his own move against Sebastian's. Sebastian pushed Nick against the door as he kissed him hard, their teeth banging as both tried to figure out where they wanted their mouths to be exactly. Sebastian was experienced and knew what he wanted to do, like move his mouth from Nick's to kiss other places. Nick, however, was fond of frenching and he continued to let his tongue go into Sebastian's mouth.

Nick's hands were pulling and pushing at the back of Sebastian's neck, trying to get their mouths closer together than they already were. Sebastian's hands remained at Nick's waist where his fingertips were slipping between the towel.

It was then that Nick remembered he was practically naked. He subtly kissed Sebastian one more time and slipped away, realizing that the thick, blue towel did an awesome job at hiding his half-chub. But he knew that Sebastian had felt it.

"That was hot," Sebastian stated.

"We should get going."

Nick said nothing else to Sebastian. He simply kept his back to the taller boy as he pulled boxers on under the towel before he took it off. It took him less than two minutes to put his suit on. As he buttoned the cuffs he allowed himself to turn around and face Sebastian. He averted his eyes to find his socks.

Once he was finally ready, Nick gave Sebastian a shaky smile and the two headed downstairs. Nick found his family at the dining table where they were all having sundaes.

"Well, we're going," Nick told them.

Nick's mother glanced at them, eyeing Sebastian unkindly.

"Have fun, boys," Nick's father said, occupying himself with his ice cream.

Nick wanted badly to mouth them off. It was okay for them to be mad at him, but to take it out on Sebastian was crossing a line. But he wasn't in the mood to have more people hate him so he grabbed Sebastian's hand and left the house. In Sebastian's car, Sebastian laughed.

"What?" Nick asked.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that I'm used to parents not liking me, but yours are unusually cruel."

Nick shook his head. "No, it's not you. It's me. They're mad at me."

"And why is that?"

"Because I dumped Jeff. Because I refuse to fix it. Because I'm going away. Because I'm cutting them out of my life. Because I've decided to try to be happy."

Sebastian blinked. "Wow. You sure have got yourself in a bind, don't you?"

Nick ignored him and stared out the window, watching house after house.

-:-

The prom was exactly like last years'. Fake stars fell, dangled from the ceiling by strings as a disco ball rotated in the middle of the gym. The music was loud and outdated and overplayed and it was hot, causing most to sit down on the bleachers and try to keep out of the spotlights. Nick spotted Trent with Arianna, the girl he took last year. Trent was out, but either she didn't care or didn't know. Nick saw a few other Warblers: Aiden with a blonde, James with his new girlfriend Samantha, Danny going stag, and Mason with Kara. Thad was there, too, also stag.

"This is so lame," Sebastian said in Nick's ear.

The two were holding hands, one of the five same-sex couples at the dance. Eyes were on them but they weren't negative. They were just annoying.

Nick wanted to tell Sebastian that it wasn't that lame, but he suddenly cared to agree with Sebastian. He nodded.

Sebastian smiled at him and started to pull him towards the bodies that were happily dancing in the middle of the gym. Nick went with him thoughtlessly, immediately starting to sway and jump to the music that was blaring. Sebastian laughed at him, but not in a bad way. Nick grabbed both of Sebastian's hands and tried to get Sebastian to be peppier. The taller boy tried but was too busy laughing at Nick's ridiculous dancing.

Eventually Sebastian started to get into dancing on his own and Nick found himself not moving. He was too occupied in watching Sebastian. Nick smiled as Sebastian sang along to the song, his eyes shut as he body moved to the beat, his teeth gleaming from the light. It was rare to see Sebastian with a genuine smile and seeing it was like watching a miracle happen. The miracle was that Sebastian was happy, truly, honestly, unregrettably happy and Nick craved to see that always.

And then it dawned on him why he liked Sebastian so much. Why he stuck up for Sebastian. Why he gave Sebastian second chances. Why he was willing to let Sebastian in his life.

_He was Sebastian._

He was sad like Sebastian.

Angry like Sebastian.

Heartbroken like Sebastian.

Lost like Sebastian.

Scared like Sebastian.

He was ultimately alone like Sebastian and it killed him to realize this.

Sebastian was miserable and if Nick was like him, then Nick knew he was soon to be miserable as well and he couldn't face that—_he couldn't be that._

When the song ended Sebastian came to a stop and caught Nick's eyes. His smile faded and he was staring at Nick with the same sadness Nick had been feeling. It was then that Sebastian understood that Nick understood, and it took everything for Nick not to pull Sebastian in his arms and apologize.

"Nick!" It was Thad, making his way through the crowd. "Nick, you've been picked to sing. You better get to the DJ hot-spot before people start to get pissed off by the lack of music."

Nick felt like he was drowning. "What?"

"The school wanted the Warblers to perform but I explained that we were a little low on numbers and having some problems. They suggested that at least one of us perform. Usually it's the lead who sings, and so far the only leads this year have been you and Sebastian. But I think you deserve to sing. Everyone agrees."

Nick looked away from Thad and tried to see what Sebastian thought about this, but he wasn't there. Nick's head moved from side to side as he tried to spot the taller boy but there was no sign of him.

Thad pushed him to the corner of the gym where the DJ booth had been set up. "Go on! It's like karaoke. Just choose a song and sing."

In his haze, Nick managed to pick a song that he knew the lyrics to and ignored how hot he was. He found the mic stand and stood in front of it, waiting for the music to start.

_"I'm here/just like I said/though it's breaking every rule I've ever made/my racing heart, is just the same/why make it strong to break it just the same?/and I'd love to say "I'd do"/give everything to you/but I could never now be true."_

Nick watched as couples broke into pairs and started to slow dance. No one seemed to be booing or not liking what he was singing, so he felt quite proud, but he was mostly feeling sad.

_"So I say/I think I better leave right now/before I fall any deeper/I think I better leave right now/feeling weaker and weaker/somebody better show me how/before I fall any deeper/I think I better leave right now."_

He'd chosen the song by chance—Will Young's 'Leave Right Now'. He was familiar with it, but apparently he was too familiar with it. The lyrics were exactly how he was feeling and it scared him deeply so.

At first he thought he was singing about Sebastian, but when he got the second verse he realized it was about Jeff.

_"I'm here, so please explain/Why you're opening up a healing wound again/I'm a little more careful, perhaps it shows/but if I lose the highs at least I'm spared the lows/Now I tremble in your arms/What could be the harm?/to feel my spirit calm."_

He hated how everything came back to the blonde who'd packed his life away and moved to another state. It wasn't fair. Nick was ready to move on but Jeff was always getting in the way. He couldn't even be in a different relationship because his feelings for Jeff always came back. He just wanted to move on.

He spotted Sebastian in front of him. He looked sadder than Nick felt. Nick sang the chorus to Sebastian, hating that Sebastian was there to hear it. But the words were true. They were a warning to Sebastian.

_"So I say/I think I better leave right now/before I fall any deeper/I think I better leave right now/feeling weaker and weaker/somebody better show me how/before I fall any deeper/I think I better leave right now."_

Sebastian nodded, acknowledging the lyrics. He fell back into the crowd of dancing couples and left Nick to carry on with the song. But Nick had no idea what he was singing anymore. All he knew was that he needed to cry and that his chest felt swollen and he wanted to go home.

No, he didn't want to go home. He wanted to go to someplace where he could be happy again.

-:-

The dance was over and Nick had no way home.

Sebastian had left him there, but Nick wasn't upset about it. He understood that Sebastian needed to get out of there more than he did.

Nick sat on the steps outside Dalton, the parking lot empty except for a few cars that belonged to the chaperones. The night was cool and Nick appreciated it. He still felt a need to cry but he suppressed the tears and stared up at the moon. He had been sitting there for almost twenty minutes when the sound of a car-horn went off. He looked back down and saw what was his car, a body leaning against it and smiling at him.

Hadn't there been a streetlight, Nick wouldn't have been able to see who it was. Thankfully there was a light. He recognized the thick, brown hair and the sophisticated smile. The man had his arms crossed and was covering the logo on the shirt, but Nick recognized it as a Ohio State University shirt. He wasn't sure why the person had it but he wasn't thinking about what the person was wearing. He was thinking about the person and how glad he was to see him.

Nick ran down the steps, feeling the tears he'd been keeping locked up start to fall down his face. He put his arms around the body so fast that he hurt himself but he let it go.

"I've missed you so fucking much," Nick told his older brother, trying to keep himself from sobbing.

Josh hugged Nick back tightly, suddenly concerned with his younger brother's well-being.

"Hey, it's okay, buddy," Josh told him. "I mean, it's just me, you don't have to cry."

Nick shook his head and refused to let go. Josh held Nick as Nick cried for a good ten minutes before he pushed Nick away gently. He put his hands on Nick's shoulders and watched as Nick wiped at his eyes and tried to control himself.

"I've been waiting hours to see you. When the prom was over I kept waiting for you to come home but you never did. I found your car keys and thought maybe I'd find you here, and I did. Brother's intuition or what?" Josh laughed at and playfully punch Nick.

"When did you get to Ohio?" Nick asked.

"This morning. Mom didn't tell you?"

Nick shook his head. "She hasn't really been talking to me lately."

"That's bullshit! She should have told you I was here. Hell, I should have told you."

Nick went to look down at his feet but spotted the t-shirt. "What's with that?"

Josh looked at what Nick was pointing at and frowned. "I bought it a few weeks ago when I found out you applied there. I thought I'd be supportive, ya know?"

"But I might not get in."

Josh smiled and leaned into the open window of the car and pulled out a large envelope, handing it to Nick. "I guess you can find out."

"It came?"

"Apparently mom was hiding it, but I found it in her office and bitched at her. I think you two need a heart-to-heart."

"Bitch," Nick breathed, staring at the envelope.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Open it!"

Nick did so, ripping it evenly and struggling for a second. But he did it, his hands trembling as he unfolded the papers and started to read.

"What's the verdict?" Josh asked, dying of anticipation.

Nick let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "I got in."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> One more chapter to go...


	16. Chapter 16

_The only_

The first thought Nick had when he woke up was,_ It's Jeff's birthday_. A year ago today, Jeff had admitted to Nick that horrible thing that happened to him. A year ago today, Nick told Jeff that he loved him. A year ago today, Jeff said he loved him back. In reality, the 'I love yous' exchanged weren't that of romance but of a state of actual being, but regardless, they had said the words and they had been kept true, much like a promise held between the two.

Nick wondered if Jeff was still keeping the promise—Nick kept his very much.

In fact, Nick was even more sure that he loved Jeff than he ever had before. He wasn't quite sure what made him think this, especially because he'd been feeling a hatred towards him in the past weeks he'd been gone. Nick still hated Jeff, but he missed him more. Especially today. He wondered how Jeff was feeling. Was he happy? Did he have a day planned with fun activities? Was he thinking about last year? Was he thinking about Nick? Was he missing him, too?

There was a tap at Nick's door and he took a deep breath. He wasn't sure who was on the other side and he figured if he'd ignored it the person would go away, but alas, Josh wasn't one to give up so easily. The taller boy, who had a muscular build and had a tendency to wear socks that were mismatched, entered Nick's room, wearing a pair of basketball shorts and the same Ohio State. He wore no shoes and Nick smirked at his navy blue sock on his right foot and the yellow one on his left.

"I knew you were awake," Josh stated, sounding proud of himself.

"What if I had been masturbating?" Nick retorted.

Josh shrugged. "Do you not remember when you were thirteen? Been there. Seen that."

"At least it makes up for when I walked in on you having sex with that one girl. Tessa?"

"Tessa! Now there's a name I haven't heard in ages!" Josh smiled to himself and walked farther into Nick's room, picking up random things and inspecting them with a curious expression. Nick watched him with a matching curiosity, wondering what could possibly be going on in his big brother's head.

"What are you doing here? School isn't over yet, is it?"

Josh set down a Warbler pin, smiling at old memories. Josh had been a Warbler when he went to Dalton, however he quit months later. He was more into girls than singing. "That's what I want to talk to you about. Why don't you come downstairs for breakfast?"

"I can't," Nick told him. "Mom will be there and I'll probably kill her."

Josh snorted. "Humor me, please? It's really important."

Nick rolled his eyes but smiled, finally getting out of bed since he'd woken up twenty minutes ago. He went the bathroom quickly and made his way downstairs, seeing his family already at the table. Robby was sitting next to Josh, staring at him with adoration. It made sense—Josh was a much cooler big brother than Nick was. Patrick, however, eyed Josh suspiciously, mostly because the last time he'd seen him he was one. Patrick was three now and did not remember his eldest brother. Nick sat next to Patrick and glared at his mother, who glared back.

"Now that everyone is here," Josh started, setting his glass of orange juice down, "I have some big news. As you know, I've found myself a girlfriend at Oxford. Her name is Sophia, she's blonde and has the biggest blue eyes you'll ever see. She's smart and wonderful, and as of last week, my fiancée."

"Congrats!" Larry, their dad, shouted, smiling widely.

Nick smiled at his brother, completely excited about the news. He shared his smile with various members of the family, including his mother. He was shocked to see her smile so hugely. Usually she'd make a soft grin, but it would never reach her eyes. You could tell she was beyond happy now, a slight look of what could be tears developing. She shot up from the table and went over to hug Josh. He got up as well and accepted it.

"I'm so happy!" she said, pulling away from him. "When do we get to meet her? When is the wedding? Let me plan it, please! I promise to make it good. Your father and I will pay for everything. Oh, wow!"

Josh laughed. "Of course, of course. Sophie should be here later today. It took her awhile to get her passport. And we haven't exactly set a date, but soon. Like, really soon. I can't go another second without her not being my wife."

Their mother gushed over it all, rushing to the phone to call family and friends about it. Josh smiled as he ate, answering questions asked by various members of the breakfast table. Nick had little, only curious as to what type of person she was. Josh gladly shared all he knew and was constantly looking at his cell phone, waiting for her to call and say she was at the airport. After a while, Nick wandered back into his room and got ready for the day, quite excited to meet his soon to be sister-in-law.

His phone rang suddenly, though. Sebastian's name appeared on the screen and Nick answered it.

"Hello?" he greeted.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian breathed. "About last night. About ditching you at the dance. I just had to...get out of there."

"I get it. It's okay."

"It's not, though. That was a real dick move of me and I'm seriously hating myself about it."

Nick frowned. "Are you okay, Seb? You don't usually care unless you're inhibited."

"Am I ever okay? That was a stupid question. Ugh, damnit. Can I come over?"

"Uh, sure. But I'm not sure for how long. Family stuff is going on."

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Kay."

The two hung up and Nick scratched the back of his head, unaware of what to do about Sebastian. It was clear that Sebastian was being swallowed by some internal turmoil but it was hard to do anything about it, especially when Sebastian's so good at making walls. However, Nick had seemed pretty good and getting over them, which made him worry sometimes. Was it because he and Sebastian were much more similar than either would have thought? Or was it that Nick had gained Sebastian's trust, being the only person to not turn his back on him no matter the wrongs he made?

Not two minutes later, Sebastian was at his house, ringing the doorbell. Nick hurried out of his room, not making it in time to answer the door. Josh stood in front of Sebastian, frowning a bit.

"I thought you were someone else," Josh managed to say.

Sebastian said nothing, he just looked so...lost. Nick froze behind Josh, shocked at what he saw. Sebastian was wearing random pieces from his tux: his dress shirt, his dress pants and dress shoes. His white dress shirt was undone, revealing a plain white t-shirt beneath. The circles around his eyes were dark and puffy, his blue-green eyes surrounded by a sea of pink. His arms were crossed against his chest and he looked uncomfortable.

"Hi," Nick said cautiously, walking in front of Josh.

"Hi," Sebastian replied, his voice raw.

Nick reached out and grabbed Sebastian's wrist, pulling him inside the house. The two went past Josh, who was giving them both a questioning glance as they headed upstairs. Back in his room, with the door shut and a sense of security, Sebastian pulled Nick into him and kissed him hard on the lips.

Nick wanted to kiss him back, wanted to do many things, but he knew that neither of them were emotionally stable enough to continue. He pulled away from Sebastian unwillingly and tried to get the taller boy to look at him, but Sebastian was hurt from the rejection and refused to open his eyes.

"I want to, Seb," Nick started to explain, but stopped himself when Sebastian opened his eyes and glared back.

Sebastian walked past Nick and sat on his bed, staring down at his hands that were trembling slightly. Nick sat in the computer chair across from him, watching him. Eventually Sebastian decided to speak.

"What is this, Nick?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want this to be anything?"

"I don't know.

"What do you know?" Sebastian growled, glaring again.

Nick sighed. "I know that I like you, a lot. But I know that I love Jeff. And I know that you're lonely, and I know that I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"You."

Sebastian's eyes widened. "Me?"

"You hurt people, Sebastian, and not because you're a bad person but because you're scared they're going to hurt you first. And you're not willing to take that chance."

"But I am...I'm willing to take it with you."

Nick's stomach sank as he saw tears begin to form in Sebastian's eyes. "Why me?"

"I don't know," was Sebastian's reply.

"I do," Nick smiled. "It's because you trust me. It's because you know that I'd never get too close to you because I love someone else. It's because I'm not afraid to tell you the truth. It's because I would never hurt you."

"Then be with me."

"But I'm not a perfect person. And I _will_ hurt you, Seb. I'm hurting you now and I can't fix you."

Sebastian let out a single sob, tears falling from his face. "He left you, Nick! He broke your heart and you need to move on! I see it in your eyes, the pain because of it. But you and me, we get it. We know how the world works and we can make each other better again. Fuck them all! It could be just you and me, and we wouldn't have to worry about doing bad things to each other."

Nick could feel his own eyes water but he was beyond crying. He'd spent a good hour last night sobbing into his pillow. And he felt like shit for not crying right now.

"I can't," Nick told him, his voice breaking slightly.

Sebastian's bottom lip quivered and his face grew a slight shade of red. "Please, Nick, _please._ You're the only person I have. Don't, don't, don't." Sebastian was shaking his head, as if it would make everything alright again.

"I can't," Nick said again, whispering it forcefully. He walked over towards Sebastian and put his right hand on his cheek, cradling it. He felt Sebastian's tears splash onto the flesh there and it was then that Nick realized that it wasn't everyone else he hated—it was himself. Nick came to a conclusion that he was the worst human being ever and he despised himself so entirely that in that moment, he was sure he would cry.

Nick put his forehead against Sebastian's and gazed at the wet eyelashes that stuck to the fiery cheeks. "I'm so fucking sorry."

Sebastian let out a deep breath and opened his eyes, his crying halting immediately as he pushed Nick gently away. He stood up from the bed and grabbed the back of Nick's neck forcefully, pulling the other boy in for a kiss that wasn't entirely unwanted. But this time, Nick didn't enjoy it. There was nothing there except the taste of salt water and heartbreak and Nick knew he'd never forget it.

Without another word or glance, Sebastian left Nick's room and inevitably his house. Nick stood in the middle of his room, touching his lips as he tried to sort out his feelings. But there were too many of them and he couldn't wrap his head around anything. His mother, however, entered his room and a feeling came out.

"Why did you hide my acceptance letter?"

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "I don't like that boy, Nicholas. I've heard things about him and they are very discouraging. I thought I raised you better than to be friends with someone so negative?"

"Don't change the subject! Why did you do it?"

"Because you're so much better than you give yourself credit for!" she yelled. Nick rarely heard his mother shout, so he was rather frightened to hear how loud her voice could get. "You're a talented, smart, and beautiful boy. You're my son and I can't stand to watch you throw your life away! You want to be a grown up? Do you really want that? What has it gotten you so far? A broken heart? An anger towards the world? You think that by running away and changing your life it will fix everything? I have news for you; it won't. You can avoid them all you like but the problems aren't caused by everyone else. These are _your_ problems. Run away from them and they'll only catch up faster, and when they do, things will be worse."

Nick knew she was right. He'd been thinking the same thing and it sort of sucked to hear them aloud. It was like now that they were out in the open there was no possible way for him to pretend anymore. How would he be able to look at himself in the mirror without wanting to cause physical pain to the reflection?

"But what would hiding the letter have done, Mom?" Nick heard himself ask.

"I guess I have two theories about that. The first being that had you not gotten it, you would have eventually gone to a better college. The second is that had you not gotten it, maybe I'd feel better about knowing that my baby boy would still be my baby boy."

Nick smiled regardless to how shitty he felt. "I do have to grow up sometime."

She nodded. "I know, and that's why I'm glad you got accepted. After seeing you with Josh last night and this morning, seeing how much you're just like him, well, it makes me less scared."

"It's Jeff's birthday," Nick admitted.

"I know. Erica says that he misses you."

Nick's heart hurt. "Has she gone to see him yet?"

Holly shook her head. "No, sweetie."

"She should."

Holly leaned forward and kissed her son on the cheek, no doubt leaving a red lip mark to prove it. She ran her head across his forehead, sweeping back the hair there.

"We'll have to get you a haircut before the wedding. Especially if you're going to be the Best Man."

Nick's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Whoops, I wasn't supposed to say anything." She winked at him and left his room, heading back to her study where the sound of a phone ringing could be heard.

Nick went downstairs to find Josh to interrogate him, but he was nowhere to be found. However, Nick was missing his keys so he figured Josh had gone to the airport to get Sophie. He headed back up to his room and started on some homework, wanting nothing but to get his mind off of everything.

-:-

That night the family sat around the dinner table, everyone gushing over Sophie who'd turned out to be way cooler than Josh had described. Robby had obviously developed a crush and Nick caught him staring at her boobs constantly, having to kick him under the table to bring him back to the real world. Holly asked most the questions, trying to make sure that the blonde-bombshell was exactly what she'd expect in a daughter-in-law. So far, Sophie seemed to be passing all her tests.

As the table was starting to grow bare, Sophie turned her attention to Nick and smiled widely at him.

"So Nick," she said, her British tone making everything so much more awesome. "Josh tells me that you've gotten into Ohio State. I'm so glad to hear it!"

Nick blushed. "Thanks."

"Also that you've got a boyfriend?" Josh coughed on his roast beef and quickly whispered to her the news. Her face fell and she gave Nick a sympathetic look. "Plenty of fish in the sea. And the world is mostly covered in water, so I say the odds are in your favor."

It was the first time someone hadn't been upset about him and Jeff not being together anymore. It was a fresh of breath air and Nick decided that he loved her.

The had pie for dessert and laughed at the things Sophie said, describing how things were said in her country and how confusing America was. She complained of the school system and the names of certain foods, but she was happy to be here.

Nick had talked to Josh about the news their mother shared, and Josh asked Nick if he would be his Best Man. Of course Nick said yes, a little unsure as to why one of Josh's friends weren't offered the position.

"Because _you're_ my best man," Josh had told him, flicking a spoonful of whip cream at Nick's face. Nick smiled and wiped a napkin at his nose, mouthing a 'thank you' to Josh.

-:-

Nick heard Jeff sing for the first time since everything went down ten days after his birthday.

Nick had been on Facebook, slowly reconnecting with the people he'd began to push out of his life. He'd even apologized to Kurt and invited both him and Blaine to the wedding. Kurt had responded that he was already going as Blaine's date because Blaine had been invited by Josh, who happened to be good friends with Blaine's older brother Cooper.

"But if you convince your mother to let me help, I just might forgive you," Kurt said playfully.

To say the least, Nick all but got on his hands and knees to get his mother to let Kurt help. Their friendship was patched up once again, and Nick was thankful that Kurt sucked at holding grudges.

So their poke-war on Facebook was restored and Nick continued to check up on his friends. He had to go to Jeff's wall to see the video that had been posted because Nick's timeline was stupid and didn't like to show posts a lot of the time.

The status about the video read: _where I'm at right now._ He made sure his door was shot before he hit play, his hands sweating and his heart beating fast as he watched Jeff on the screen.

_"I literally spent hours getting this right, and I've done a hundred takes because I kept messing up. I had to sleep an entire day before I could do anything. This is attempt number...uh, I don't know."_ Jeff looked the same. It made Nick happy, except that there was still a slight sadness to his features. _"Anyway, here we go...'Little Hell' by Colour and City."_

Jeff positioned a guitar on his lap and stroked a few chords before it became an actual song. Nick's eyes were locked on the screen, unwilling to look away at Jeff's face.

_"What if I can't be all that you need me to be?/We've got a good thing going, we have some promises to keep/But my addiction, it can be such a detriment/Please believe in this my dear/I am more than penitent."_

_Dear God,_ Nick thought to himself. _I miss him so fucking much._

_"What if everything's just the way that it will be?/Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief?/my warships a-lying off the coast of your delicate heart/and my aim is steady and true as it's been from the start."_

_"There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me/from my haunted past to my daunting task of living through memories/if we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall/stare into the past and forget it all."_

There was a few things that Nick had learned about Jeff over the years. Yes, Jeff was passionate about music and yes, Jeff wanted music in his life all the time. But Jeff often hid how good he was. There was a reason why he never got all those solos the many times he auditioned for the Warblers—it was because he sang songs he didn't connect with. But when he did connect to a song, it was like you could feel it personally. His voice was so strong and his heart showed and it gave you goosebumps.

Nick had goosebumps and he craved for a warmth that only Jeff could give him.

_"So when we leave it'll be a quick midnight escape/we'll disconnect ourselves from all of yesterday/i'll dig for water and fashion, our very own wishing well/then we'll throw our coins down, hoping to rid us of this little hell."_

The brunette watched intently, his arms crossed tightly as he bit the inside of his cheek.

Why was it always music that told the truth?

-:-

The wedding was set at the end of the May. Nick had a week of school left and was currently enjoying a homeworkless weekend. However, his house was full of relatives; cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. Not to mention Sophie's small family that consisted of her two older sisters who were married with kids (Emma and Jack had a son Patrick's age named Calvin, and Lexie and Robert had two twin girls named Lizzie and Rachel).

It was hectic and loud and Nick shared his room with his sixteen year old cousin Ashley who was having a goth phase. She was nice, though. She and Nick had always managed to get along. Though, she was always in his room and he often wished he could have a little privacy.

Kurt was over daily, mostly when school ended. He was stressed, mostly because he was waiting to hear back from NYADA. Nick was constantly telling Kurt that he was going to get in but Kurt waved him away and bickered with Nick's mom about the florals.

When Nick felt like he was suffocating, he'd take a walk to the park a few neighborhoods there. And like always, Sebastian was there, waiting for him.

It had taken them awhile to start talking again, but Nick was adamant in making sure that Sebastian knew that Nick wanted to be in his life, just not a love interest. Sebastian had to warm up to the idea, but eventually he settled being friends and the two would hang out in the park to have a neutral place to keep things from getting t0o intense.

"You're still coming, right?" Nick asked him as the two swung on the metal swingset.

Sebastian shrugged. "Your mom thinks I'm a skank so I'dunno."

Nick rolled his eyes. "That's because she likes to listen to gossip and thinks the worst about everyone. You should see how she is with Kurt. It's like he's literally going to touch things and they'll turn into rainbows and unicorns and dildos."

"Hmm, maybe I like her after all."

"You should come. For me. Please?" Nick gave him the puppy-dog look and Sebastian gave him the bird, which he accepted as a yes.

-:-

Nick was wrong. Sebastian didn't show up at the wedding.

Nick texted him repeatedly, sitting in an adjacent room meer feet away from the altar where his brother was minutes away from marrying Sophie.

Josh was pacing the room, making the rest of the groomsmen feel claustrophobic. Nick watched his brother with raised eyebrows, hoping to God that if he ever got married he wouldn't be this nervous.

"What are you freaking out about?" Cooper asked, still being preoccupied with his hair. There was no mirror, though, so he was actually making it much worse. No one said anything.

"What if she gets cold feet? Or what if someone objects? What if the priest has a heart attack?" He stopped pacing and looked at Nick. "It's not even legal for my little brother to get married. This isn't fair."

Nick smiled. "Josh, don't worry about me. And there is no way in hell that Sophie is going to get cold feet. No one will object, either. You two are a match made in heaven and you need to take a deep breath, okay?"

Josh took a deep breath and let it out in a spurt. "But someone might die."

The room burst out in laughter, even though Josh was being sincere. However, they were told it was time and the group of men made their way to the altar and lined up in correspondence. Cooper stood behind Nick, and Don stood behind Cooper, and finally Ian was last, his red hair extra red today. Josh was saying a pray quietly to himself and Nick laughed at this, not helping but to look out at everyone who was sitting.

And low and behold there sat Jeff, looking straight at him, a quirk to his lips. Nick's heart quickened so fast that he thought he was going to pass out but he managed to get ahold of himself just as the infamous song that introduced to the bride began. He kept his attention to the back of his brother's head as he tried to gather himself.

_Today isn't about you,_ Nick told himself, taking deep breaths._ This is Josh's day. Get a grip._

Nick managed to pay attention to what the priest was saying and smiled widely as the vows were exchanged. He couldn't see his brother's face, but the way that Sophie was looking at Josh Nick knew that his brother looked the same way—like nothing else mattered in the world.

Up next was the reception, and as hard as he tried (which wasn't very hard at all), there was no avoiding Jeff.

Nick had managed to keep a good distance away, talking to various family members, but the two were always in eyesight and eventually there was no one left to talk to but each other. From across the large ballroom they stared, their eyes stuck on each other. Jeff motioned to the exit with his head and Nick nodded in response, picking up his feet to follow Jeff outside.

The sun was setting and it was warm out. It was awfully quiet, only the sounds of the music from inside being heard. Jeff walked away from the building, heading towards a wooden bench near the parking lot. Nick joined him, sitting as far away as he could.

"Sophie's nice," Jeff noted.

"I love her," Nick replied.

A minute passed.

"How are you?" Jeff asked.

"Better," Nick told him. "You?"

"Same—now that I've seen you."

"Don't," Nick warned. "Not here."

"Don't pretend that you haven't missed me, too."

_More than anything_, Nick thought but didn't say. He wanted to say it. "Now's not the time, Jeff."

"Then when? After I go back to California? How long am I going to have to wait for you to talk to me again? It's not fair, Nick."

"And you leaving me, was that fair?" Nick spat back.

"You could have come with me!"

Nick gauffed. "You knew that I was in no place to leave with you. I don't even know why you asked me. It was stupid of you."

"Fine, you're right. But you didn't have to dump me. We could have worked something out."

Nick knew he was right so he said nothing.

Jeff let out an audible sigh and turned to look at Nick. Nick refused to make eye contact so he stared at an ant on the ground. It was carrying a crumb and heading from the building. As Jeff continued to gaze at him, Nick felt his skin flush.

"It happened so fast, didn't it?" Jeff asked. Nick wasn't sure what he was talking about. "I look back and I think of us and what we could have been...what we should have been. But it didn't happen. I don't know why and I want to blame myself but I know for a fact that I didn't do this—I didn't destroy us. I wanted it to work but I let you go because you thought that this was just a phase, a thing that wouldn't be worth your time. I'm sorry to disappoint you, Nick, but sometimes we do things that get us nowhere but they're real and they're amazing and they're something that make us happy for once in our damn lives. We had that, we did, but you...I...we gave up on it. And it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to think of where we would be right now if neither of us had given up."

"I'm sorry," Nick replied, feeling like shit once again. "But I got tired of it."

"Tired of what?"

"Of not knowing if I could make life for you better again."

Jeff smiled despite himself and went for Nick's hand. Nick moved it away and set it on his lap. Jeff frowned at this and stared back at Nick.

"You want to fix me, but sometimes things need to stay broken."

Nick shook his head. "I don't believe that."

"Because you don't know what it's like!" Jeff was starting to get angry now, his eyes glowing red slightly. "You have no idea what I've been through. What I'm still going through. Drew did something that is unfixable and you just need to accept that."

Nick shook his head again. "I can't."

Jeff's eyes lit up. "You feel guilty. You stupid mother fucker."

That was enough to make Nick go undone. Nick tried to hold back the tears but they were hot and bursting and a sob was making its way from his chest. Jeff immediately lunged for Nick, pulling him into his arms. Nick shoved his face into Jeff's shoulder and everything was released. The sobs were muffled and the tears melted into Jeff's suit jacket.

Jeff was right. Nick did feel guilty. He felt guilty about Drew and about Jeff and about what had happened to Jeff.

How was he supposed to be happy when his best friend, the person he loved most, had been violated in such a horrible way? How was he supposed to act like the only way to go was up when it was obvious that Jeff had been fucked over. How was he supposed _to be?_ He couldn't stand it that he hadn't been able to protect Jeff. All he could do was watch the fallout and it killed him to know that Jeff was trying to so hard for Nick. Nick didn't want Jeff to try, he wanted Jeff to not have to try. He wanted to go back and protect Jeff and stop everything that happened from happening.

Nick tried to get control of the current situation. The guilt was consuming him and he wanted badly to be mad at Jeff again. When he was mad at Jeff, it was like nothing happened.

He pulled back from Jeff and cleared his face of any mess and took deep breaths. "You went months without telling me anything. You kept me in the dark about not telling me about Drew, about not telling your parents about Drew, about graduating early, about your plans to move to California. Everything was a secret! Until it wasn't. You started to confess when you got a chance to run. Why?"

"It was important to me."

"Why?"

"Because I made a promise to talk to you! I wanted so bad to keep myself locked away but I couldn't do that to you! To the person I love more than anything!"

"I've ruined everything, Jeff. How could you still love me?"

Jeff laughed sadly. "Because you're my best friend. Because you were there when I wasn't. Because you cared. Because you're the only person for me and I've been stupid to realize that there's more than one piece to the puzzle."

"I don't know if I can let us be put back together again."

"Why not?" Jeff said it challenging, as if daring Nick to keep them apart.

"Because I can't fix you."

Jeff pulled Nick forward and kissed him hard, making Nick respond by grabbing Jeff and pulling him in even more. Jeff's hands cradled Nick's face and it was obvious that all he wanted was to stay there forever, but he pulled back, gasping for air.

"I'm not the one who needs fixing. Not anymore."

Nick bit his lip and let go so he could kiss Jeff again. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you more," Jeff replied.

Nick smirked. "I doubt that."

-:-

The next day Nick drove Jeff to the airport, the two holding hands and refusing to let go. Jeff sang along to the radio, his voice soft and harmonic and soothing. Nick watched him every chance he could get, constantly hoping to hit red lights just so he could stare.

The two had been inseparable since their talk the night before. Everyone was quite shocked to see the two return hand-in-hand, an atmosphere of love and understanding surrounding them. They'd spent the night dancing, not talking much but just touching. Neither wanted to talk, if only because they were scared they'd say something and everything would be ruined. They just needed each other's presence and that seemed to be enough to get them by.

When Josh and Sophie left for their honeymoon, Nick asked Jeff cautiously if he could stay the night. Jeff had raised an eyebrow but Nick quickly explained his situation at home and of course Jeff agreed, kissing the tip of Nick's nose as they made their way to Nick's car.

The two cuddled in Jeff's bed, making out at random times. Jeff offered to take the next step but Nick shook his head. He wasn't ready for that, even though he was obviously horny and wanted to. He was still dealing with today's emotions and he was exhausted. After making sure that Jeff wasn't feeling hurt from the rejection, he snuggled against the blonde boy's chest and entered a dreamless state of sleep.

Now it was morning and Jeff had a flight to catch. Nick didn't want Jeff to go but he knew that even though the two were talking again, and kissing again, and being in love again, that there was still a broken piece to the puzzle and things wouldn't be alright again until it was fixed.

It was up to Nick.

Nick wasn't quite ready to be fixed.

But he still enjoyed the time he had with Jeff.

As he pulled up to the entrance of the airport, he squeezed Jeff's hand tightly.

"I don't want you to go."

Jeff smiled and squeezed back. "I'll be back."

_But will I be here?_ Nick wanted to ask. Of course, he didn't. He only smiled at Jeff and leaned in to kiss him.

The kiss wasn't long and it was obviously powered by the thought that Jeff had to go and that neither boy wanted to make this harder than it had to be. With a goodbye Jeff grabbed his backpack and got out of Nick's car, waving one last time before he disappeared into the busy building.

Nick drove away, imaging himself driving back to stop Jeff from getting on the plane.

He wished he was the type of guy that was brave.

-:-

That Monday, his last Monday of high school, Nick sat in his Geography class, daydreaming about Jeff in California when he heard a shriek from Ms. Wallas from the hallway. Everyone jumped out of their seats and fled out of the classroom to see what was going on, only to be surprised as four little pigs wearing papers strung around their necks running throughout the halls.

"Get them!" shouted the headmaster, his gray hair messy and the veins in his neck sticking out, a few students behind him as he rushed towards the piglets. Everyone fell out of the classroom and started to chase the pigs, who all broke off and went into different directions.

Nick and five others chased a pig labeled #3 and laughed as the thing dodged their hands. The cute thing made its way to the gym where Danny, the Ben's and Gary and another Nick stood, high fiving each other as the pig ran up to Danny. Danny grabbed it and gave it a kiss.

"Oh, Little Annie, you did such a good job."

Breathless, Nick asked "What's going on?"

Danny smiled widely at him. "Senior Prank."

"But you're not a senior," a asian kid named Rick said.

The red-headed Ben threw his arm around Danny's shoulders and smiled widely. "There wouldn't be a Senior Prank without this kid. We were literally idealess when he came up to us, telling us how his father worked on a farm and had access to pigs."

"That's it? You just let pigs loose?" another kid asked.

Danny smiled again. "Just wait."

-:-

Two hours later the headmaster's voice could be heard over the P.A. system, causing Thad to stop his lecture to the Warblers so everyone could listen in.

"Everyone, we've managed to locate and gather the pigs that were released during lessons. However, according to their labels, we are missing a pig labeled number four. So please, if seen, carefully return the pig to the front office where animal control will take care of them. We have yet to find out the person, or persons, behind this prank but if any of you have any information please do not hesitate to tell. Thank you."

"Oh, no, Danny! They're going to take your pigs away!" Trent stated. "And you're missing one!"

Danny smiled. "The pigs have been tattooed so my dad will be able to get them back, though I will without a doubt be grounded for the rest of my life. And as for piggie number four, let's just say that it doesn't exist."

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"There were only four pigs. We labeled them one, two, three, and five. Now everyone thinks there's one missing when there's not."

"That's genius!" someone stated, causing everyone to agree.

Nick smiled at Danny, who was completely flustered to be getting so much attention. Nick remembered how at the beginning of the year Danny had asked Nick about the prank, wanting badly to be Nick's best friend so he could be a someone. Nick wasn't his answer, though, but regardless he carried on. In the end, he was Nick's best friend and the most popular boy in the school. He'd made the Senior Prank a good one. Much better than last years. It was so boring that Nick couldn't even remember it, just knowing it had something to do with the a teacher's car.

Nick also watched the Warblers, all of them cheerful and talking to one each other with plenty of enthusiasm. Even Sebastian, who'd been quiet for a few weeks, had finally opened up and was chatting with random members. And when he caught Nick's eye, he smiled widely and Nick knew that everything was okay.

-:-

It was the last day of school, which meant everyone was going crazy and refusing to listen to what the teachers had to say, especially the seniors who'd be graduating the next day. It was Friday and the weather was perfect and hot, making it so all the Dalton students left their jackets in their cars or in their lockers. Some even left them at home, not worrying about getting in trouble.

The day was short and fast, full of laughs and talks about what was to come during summer. Nick didn't speak much about going to Ohio State, mostly because everyone bragged about getting into Harvard Law or Harvard Pre-Med. Thad was going to Brown. Trent was headed to New York to go to Juilliard. Sebastian didn't say where he was going but it was obvious he'd be leaving Ohio.

The only thing left to do at the school was to get a yearbook. After his last period, Nick made his way to the gym to get his. Everyone crowded the halls so they could sign each other's yearbooks.

Nick received his yearbook and headed to the final Warbler practice of the year. There was nothing to practice, of course, but it was the last time he was going to be a Warbler and he wanted to pretend that he was heading to the choir room to sing a song full of joy and glee. After all, being a Warbler was one of the things he's ever enjoyed more than anything and he was tremendously sad that it had to end.

As he made his way down the hallways, careless thumbing through the yearbook in his hand and greeting familiar bodies as they walked past, he found himself coming to a stop as he got to Jeff's picture. He was smiling, his white teeth showing and a light in his eyes that showed how happy Jeff had been at the time.

But it wasn't Jeff's beautiful picture that left Nick breathless.

It was the quote beneath.

_"Nicholas Duval's first gay kiss."_

**end.**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Congrats, you've made it to the end. I'm actually really proud of this despite the few flaws it has. I hope everyone who made it enjoyed it.

The ending is left open, just in case I decide to make a sequel, but the chances of that are slim. Really slim.

A big thank you to Doug who is better than all of you. I love him dearly.

Thank you! I hope you've all really enjoyed this.


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